Vulgar Wedding Roast by a Childhood Friend

I don't think anybody could be as happy as I am today and I can't wait for us to share the rest of our lives together. I'll drink my own private toast to James later. Iwould now like to propose another toast, this time to you, our guests. (Get hubby to stand up) Cheers everyone! I had a great laugh writing this speech and even more of a laugh delivering it - especially as the Best Man (and everyone else) had no idea it was coming and he was geeing himself to stand up!!

Humorous Best Man Speech I would also like to thank you all for being here today to share in this very special occasion. Before I begin my traditional destruction of the groom’s character, I would just like to say again how lovely the bride looks today. This is actually the first time I have made a speech (as you can probably tell), and it is true when they say that its nerve racking. In fact I could go so far as to say that I feel about as comfortable as Osama Bin Laden in the Whitehouse. I only feel slightly better knowing that I am not the only one in the room who is apprehensive, but then again she has just married the groom.

I guess that's O.K. because my being careless is how they came to be here in the first place. Making the father of the bride speech, I feel a bit like a Sheik walking into his harem for the first time. I know what I've got to do, I just don't know where to start. You will all be pleased to learn that my speech will be every bit as good as last time.

This book tells you to start all speeches with a joke & I promise I'll start shortly. It also says that you are the most forgiving audience & you'll laugh at the lamest joke. Over the next 10 minutes I will be severely testing this theory. ...I was really nervous before hand, so I prepared a few lines - and having snorted them I'm feeling pretty good right now... I didn't think I was going to be that nervous but believe me this is not the first time today that I've stood up from a warm seat with a bit of pap... ... middle of paper ... ...h, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary, which inevitably gives you a headache.

Although he was unaware of being bullied, he still enjoyed his life and happiness, rather than acumen and realism, is vital in an optimistic life. After the surgery, he is alone and even though he gained what he wanted, he lost what he already possessed, leaving him pessimistic. At the end, he even loses his last love, knowledge, leaving him beat up. All in all, Charlie, who had to deal with psychological traumas in the end, was better off before he gained with all these knowledge.

Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honour to be standing here. I suppose I should actually say it's an honour and a pleasure, but I know the pleasure won’t kick in until this speech part is over. I must admit to being a little surprised when James invited me to his wedding as I only met him a few years ago. But on reflection, I think he was swayed by the fact that I know very little about the first years of his life, which therefore puts some rather embarrassing stories out of reach. James and I have been close ever since we met whilst (while) teaching at Ferndale secondary school - so close, in fact, that he has told me secrets that nobody else knows.

We decided to meet up in front of this shop that sold many souvenirs with an entrance to go ziplining across the way. I was so nervous that I neglected to notice my dad was feeling nervous as well. The moment finally arrived when we saw my aunt and her fiance walking towards us smiling brightly. My father began to walk forward and met up with my aunt to hug her tightly. I understood he was happy to see his sister but it wasn’t until that moment it clicked that my father and my aunt haven’t seen each other in over twenty years.

My friends has not arrived yet when I am in “Wow!”situation but after 10 minute I guess, my first beloved three guest arrive and they are my bestfriends. Three of them are wearing cute gowns which is really fashionable and a present in each of their hands. They shout happy birthday and start hugging me. Then my parents arrive in style and I know you (the reader) will be questioning why I don’t come with my parents. They just want to test me if I can mature enough to organize a party so they do not arrive with me together.

When it came to expenses I wasn’t sure who to run to for help. Reasons being I come from a low income family so it was difficult to get money . My prom day is on May 27th 2011 and I can honestly say that I cant wait and I am very excited for it. I am proud to have made it this far in life so please give me the chance to enjoy this exciting opportunity. It would make my grandmother so proud of me and will also look good on my behalf as an idol for my younger siblings.

However, he just surprised me on our First Wedding Anniversary with a timeshare holiday to Marriott’s Newport Coast Villas. I was mesmerized, but soon the thought of mortgage payments capsized my happiness. Philip said, “A luxurious vacation does not mean that it’s out of reach.”The timeshare Philip bought in Coast Villas is budget-friendly and not going to compromise with my desire of enjoying an exotic honeymoon. Well, after spending thousands on our wedding, thinking of a timeshare was like “buying Cartier Jewelry with $1 in hand. “ However, Philip knows I am a perfectionist, so he tried to make everything perfect and buying a Mariott Timeshare was “cherry on the icing.