Introduction
Growing up is tough for adolescent girls because society believes they need to be a certain way. They struggle within themselves to be accepted by society. In the book Reviving Ophelia Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls written by Mary Pipher, an American clinical psychologist, she discusses her experiences with many different kinds of girls. Pipher tells stories of her clients and friends children. She jumps from one story to the next and brings them together. She discusses the similarities and differences of the girls. Pipher tries to find solutions for these troubled girls and ways for parents to understand their daughters. It is a great book for girls and parents to relate to because it has a little bit of everything from
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Sometimes divorce is impossible to avoid and the children feel trapped in the middle. They lived a life that was comfortable and the only thing they knew. Then one day their whole life gets flipped upside down and the foundation they had is gone. They have to deal with parents constantly fighting and having to choose who they want to live with. Girls tend to feel alone and guilt which affects academics and behavior. They are angry at both parents for letting them down. They feel like they are different because they don’t have the support from both parents in the same house. The best way for parent to handle the divorce correctly is to talk about the divorce to the child and make them know that it’s not the child’s fault. Children tend to handle the divorce better if they get the support from both parents and loved by …show more content…
It shows that girls that are not accepted nor do things that aren’t normal have an easier time when they get older. They learn techniques to deal with pain and rejection. Some turn to sports, reading, writing, family, or a comfort place. Girls that are unattractive or don’t worry about their looks get picked on in adolescence but as they get older it develops a strong sense of self. They are more isolated from others but become more independent and self-determination unlike girls that have been accepted by others. Girls that spend so much time trying to please others become unhappy because they aren’t making the only person that really matters happy, themselves. If girls didn’t have to worry about looks and trying to fit into society they would have an easier time in adolescence. Adults are failing children because they are educating them that they don’t need to look like everyone else because they are already beautiful just the way they are. They are ready have to worry about so much like their bodies changing and finding out who they are. They need good advance and guidance as they grow up to be adults. Girls need to start working together to be strong and independent young women. They should be proud to be different and look for things that make thing shine from the
Throughout her book Mary Pipher, a clinical psychologist, describes the behaviors and relationships of adolescent teen girls. She explores the issues that most of her patients have in common: parents and divorce, depression, weight, drugs, alcohol, violence, and sex. Pipher provides examples of girls who had suffered from each category, and ends with a generalization that connects each situation to a deeper meaning. Although parents and daughters are somewhat to blame in each occasion, Pipher holds the corrupt modern culture of western society accountable. She believes that the idealized image of girls that the media puts out is the root of most adolescent insecurities. In Reviving Ophelia, Pipher draws attention to the increasing need for female teen awareness and incorporates the methods she suggests to the struggling families.
The book I chose for this assignment is Reviving Ophelia. This was a very interesting book. Mary Pipher, PhD. discusses the roles that society plays in shaping the self esteem of teenage and preteen age girls. The author contends that our society today is very look-obsessed and media driven. Through magazines, television, fashion, and retail the "idea" girl is formed and anyone who doesn't fit this idea is not perfect in the culture that girls live in today. Weight issues have caused conditions of anorexia and bulimia putting young girls in jeopardy of declining health. Dr. Pipher chronicles the life of adolescent girls from their carefree days of being energetic, assertive, and tomboyish to their losing themselves at the onset of puberty. Most girls lose their previous selves to fit into a norm of society, being more passive, depressed, and self-critical. The main point of this book is to help uncover the true self of adolescent girls and to give them techniques to help them combat the views of society. This quote from the book summarizes all that the author was addressing when writing this book. "Most girls choose to be socially accepted and split into two selves, one that is authentic and one that is culturally scripted. In public they become who they are suppose to be."
The poem starts with the line, “This girlchild was born as usual,” which suggests that as soon as a girl is born, society already expects her to learn the role she will soon play in when she hits puberty (1). Thus, showing why we are given dolls as little girls to illustrate how we should act and appear according to society. After we learn all the roles we will soon take part in, “the magic of puberty,” hits and girls immediately begin applying the ideals to their own lives (5). As if this attempt to conform is not enough we have other people telling us we are not to perfect. “You have a great big nose and fat legs,” says a classmate to the girl (6). This type of pressure can slowly but surely destroy even the little confidence women do have in themselves.
Roberts, Kate “The Paradox of Teenage Girls: Today Are They to Grown Up or Lagging Down?” http//drkateroberts.com 2013/12/25. Web 4/25/2014.
It shows the need for people to conform to societal expectations to survive and thrive in society. It also shows the consequences of going against those expectations to purse matters of the heart, whether that is helping a condemned man or trying to keep your family from being taken away. Fighting these societal expectations puts a target on these people’s backs, which is why so many people decide to just succumb to these expectations, which is much easier on these
It gives people the insight on what she had to go through as a kid and that there are many more like her. Prior to reading this I was not aware of what a school could actually do for children. To me school was always just a place that I had to be. I did not dislike going to school it just seemed like it was something that was a given in this world and everyone felt as I did. Lynda made me feel differently about all of that. She opened my eyes to, when you get down to it, what school really does for kids. School provides a place or kids to feel safe and wanted which is essential for everyone. This narrative about a personal experience helped me to realize how school also relates to my life the same way it relates to the authors. I can remember times in my life where I have left home for school aggravated with what was going on between me and my parents. When I arrived at school all my worries about the world seemed to drift away, just like in Sanctuary of School. Like Lynda I had not realized what actually made me feel so much better after arriving at school until later. Her story led me to think back on my personal experiences and apply the knowledge she was telling through her story to my
In this paper I will talk about some information that I have obtained from reading Mary Piphers, Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls and give my view on some of her main points and arguments. I also will discuss why I feel Mary Pipher’s views on the toxic influence of media are accurate, and that it does affect adolescent girls. This paper will also point out the importance of Mary Pipher’s studies on the problems that today’s female teens are facing and why I feel they are important and cannot be ignored.
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
...nocence and sincerity. Children are not able to completely understand what the whole divorce course means. The effects children experience, such as anxiety, depression, guilt and grief, are some ways in which children express their feelings towards separation. Divorce does not signify separation for parents only; it also implies the consequence of a series of eternal effects for children if not treated carefully.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
"Statistics show that each year, over 1 million American children suffer the decision made by parent 's to end their relationship" (Amato, 2001). Divorce is the factor that plays a role in many households rather individually planned or just happens. Many people seem to believe that a divorce on young children of age will completely destroy them growing up. Nobody wants to see the good it can do for the children. What if the situation was bad, and divorce was the only safe solution. A lot of adults believe the child is more upset about the family falling apart. In reality most times, it 's because they don 't want to leave home, friends, schools. It wasn 't till I was ten years old that I was aware of what happened.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.