A lack of communication between parent and child can lead to insufficient development of language skills, limited emotional bonding, and behavioral concerns. In Chaim Potok’s The Chosen Reb Saunders isolates himself from his son Daniel by raising him in silence. Seldom few words pass between them unless they are debating the Talmud. Over time, their lack of verbal expression results in a decline of their vigor and energy and an unloving relationship. Reb Saunders does not make a reasonable decision by raising Danny in silence because it forms a problematic relationship between the two and presents each of them with numerous mental and physical issues. First, Danny and Reb Saunders’ flawed relationship is evident at the start of the novel …show more content…
During the final conversation between Reb Saunders, Danny, and Reuven, Reb Saunders defends his method of raising Danny by noting that, “...I did not want my Daniel to become like my brother...Better I should have no son at all than have a brilliant son with no soul” (285). Reb Saunders assumes that if Danny were raised in silence, then he would obtain a soul unlike Reb Saunders’ brother who did not have one. Reb Saunders raises Danny in isolation due to his assumption that having intellect without a soul would make a person indifferent and uncaring. By only wanting what he presumes is most beneficial for Danny, Reb Saunders forms a barrier between him and a meaningful relationship with Danny. This approach of bringing up a child is the only one that Reb Saunders has previous knowledge and he realizes that, “..a wiser father... may have done differently. I am not... wise” (288). Once Reb Saunders understands the consequences of his irrational decision, it is too late to make amends. Silence strains their relationship and forces both Danny and Reb Saunders to become depressed and miserable. Despite raising Danny with good intentions, Reb Saunders feels remorse for not establishing an affectionate relationship with his son while he still had the chance. Furthermore, Reb Saunders yearns for Danny to become a tzaddik and tries fulfills his desire through restrained communication between his son. If Reb Saunders had created a lasting relationship with Danny then the same hope could have been achieved. For Danny to become a tzaddik without feeling compassion during his lifetime is difficult to demand. It may have been possible for Danny to develop the traits that his father requires of him if he was raised in a nurturing environment. Overall, Reb Saunders’ rationalization of his parenting technique is rendered useless as he comprehends what an ill-advised approach it
In a restaurant, picture a young boy enjoying breakfast with his mother. Then suddenly, the child’s gesture expresses how his life was good until “a man started changing it all” (285). This passage reflects how writer, Dagoberto Gilb, in his short story, “Uncle Rock,” sets a tone of displeasure in Erick’s character as he writes a story about the emotions of a child while experiencing his mother’s attempt to find a suitable husband who can provide for her, and who can become a father to him. Erick’s quiet demeanor serves to emphasis how children may express their feelings of disapproval. By communicating through his silence or gestures, Erick shows his disapproval towards the men in a relationship with his mother as he experiences them.
When people receive education, they will also be receiving the real life techniques like the ways how to communicate, and how to tackle with the possible problem in life. In school, we have our teachers teaching us all the textbook stuffs along with teaching us to be actively participating in extracurricular activities. The extracurricular activities such as participating in speech, debate, sports, and other school programs will activate the communication skills inside the children. In the same way, the author Wes’s parents also learnt the communication skills in school. Not only this, they have even learnt the ways how to tackle with the problems without being afraid of the consequences. When the author Wes got into depression when he was unable to perform well in school, that made him feel quitting to study from military school, her mother knew what she had to do as a responsible guardian, she acted very precisely, she did not use physical threats. Instead, she told him like, “‘I am so proud of you, and your father is proud of you, and we just want you to give this a shot. Too many people have sacrificed in order for you to be there.’”(95). Her mother knew the communication skills about how to persuade her son to do good, and most importantly she told that they are proud of the way he is. The way she communicate with her son, made him realise that to study diligently should be his first priority. Regard of
In the book The Chosen the four main characters have different views on how children should be raised. Danny Saunders was said to be raised in silence. Danny was raised in silence in that communication was cut off between Danny and his father, except when they were studying Talmud. The reason Danny’s father did not speak to his son is because Rabbi Saunders wanted to have Danny think things through himself. Reb Saunders also wanted Danny to grow up in the same manner he himself was raised.
The relationship between the two fathers and the two sons is a very important theme in this book. Because of their different backgrounds, Reb Saunders and David Malters approached raising a child from two totally different perspectives. Despite the obvious differences in the two men’s beliefs, both did what they thought was right for their sons. Reb Saunders was a Hasidic tzaddik and wanted his son to follow in his footsteps. He raised Danny in silence, hoping to teach him to listen to silence, to learn compassion, and to develop a soul to go with his mind. Unless it had to do with religious studies, Reb never had an actual conversation with Danny after the age of 3. Reb wanted Danny to find things out for himself. On the other hand, Reuven’s father, Mr. Malters, felt it very important that he had good and frequent communication between himself and his son. The two would sometimes talk for hours about life, different religions, friends and anything else Reuven would want to ...
As the story evolves, Danny and Reuven become very good friends. This is a highlight for Danny, given that he has never had a close friend before Reuven. Danny has lived a very lonely life. He has not had any friends because he feels that no understands him. Reuven's father realizes Danny's loneliness, and gives Reuven some fatherly advice. He comments, "Reb Saunders' son is a terribly torn and lonely boy. There is literally no one in the world he can talk to. He needs a friend." (pg. 110) David Malter continues by saying, "The accident with the baseball has bound him to you and he has already sensed in you someone he can talk to without fear. I am very proud of you for that." (pg. 110) Reuven's father expresses his confidence to his son very openly which is an important aspect in comparing with Danny and his father's relationship.
Danny Saunders is the other main character, who lives under the shadow of becoming the next rabbi (the preacher of our culture.) He...
During those five days, Danny came to visit Reuven and told him he was sorry. Reuven accepted his apology and they began to talk about different things. They became friends and kept seeing each other after Reuven got out of the hospital. One day Reuven went over to Danny’s house to meet his father. Danny’s father was a rabbi and raised his son by means of silence. They never talked except when they studied the Torah together. Reuvens’s father was a Zionist and Danny’s father was an anti-Zionist so neither was fond of the other but allowed Danny and Reuven to still be friends. Because Danny’s father was a rabbi, it was Danny’s inherited trait to also one day become a rabbi and take his father’s place. Danny, how ever, wanted to be a psychologist not a rabbi. Reuven did not have to be a rabbi but wanted to be one.
There are different types of parent and child relationships. There are relationships based on structure, rules, and family hierarchy. While others are based on understanding, communication, trust, and support. Both may be full of love and good intentions but, it is unmistakable to see the impact each distinct relationship plays in the transformation of a person. In Chang’s story, “The Unforgetting”, and Lagerkvist’s story, “Father and I”, two different father and son relationships are portrayed. “The Unforgetting” interprets Ming and Charles Hwangs’ exchange as very apathetic, detached, and a disinterested. In contrast, the relationship illustrated in the “Father and I” is one of trust, guidance, and security. In comparing and contrasting the two stories, there are distinct differences as well as similarities of their portrayal of a father and son relationship in addition to a tie that influences a child’s rebellion or path in life.
Getting a divorce is not an easy decision for most married couples. This separation process is even harder when children are stuck in the middle of the dispute. While having a class discussion about the short story “Big Jesse, Little Jesse”, from Oscar Casares’ Brownsville: Stories, many peers came to the conclusion that Jesse seems to blame his son’s disability and the different experiences it brings into Little Jesse's life for the lack of connection between the two. However, the young age in which Jesse became a father, which deprived him from the enjoyment of his own youth, could have affected the father and son relationship, leading Jesse to try and find similar interests he might share with his son to build a better bond.
David silently tells Reuven that he knows about "raising a child in silence" because he does not answer Reuven's question directly. Instead, he says it in a form of a question directed to Hasidism. The second piece of information he communicates to Reuven in silence is his emotional state. Reuven catches that he is upset and "contempt" when he talks about silence in Hasidism. He also tells Reuven what he thinks in silence. David Malter imposes silence on Reuven by not explaining how Reb Saunders raises his son. However, whether intentionally or not, he still communicates information to Reuven in silence. By communicating to Reuven in silence, he sees how Reuven can communicate to his father. By communicating to his father in silence.
From the beginning of the novel, Small presents various characteristics of his household structure that promoted dysfunctional relationships when he was a child. “From the book’s very first pages, he presents their home filled with a nervous potential violence.” (Pedler) Small begins the novel, being the age of six, by describing each family member’s non verbal vocabularies. He begins with his mother’s language which was slamming cupboard doors, than his father’s, punching a punching bag, next his brother’s, beating on a drum, and lastly himself, getting sick. The lack of verbal communication in the household can create tension within the family because there is no exchange of feelings or concerns. If someone is going through mental or physical pain, others in the family wouldn’t know about it because there is no communication of that sort within the household. Another household characteristic that prompted dysfunctional relationships was the amount and way the mother had input. For example, there is a
The way in which Reb Saunders and David Malter raise their children reflect the conflict between tradition and modernity in this story. David Malter raises Reuven with a modern approach. He encourages Reuven to learn about the modern world as well as hold on to his religion. Reb Saunders to shelter Danny from modern ideas. With the exception of teaching Danny about the Talmud, he raises Danny in silence. He has his own reasons for raising Danny this way. “I did not want to drive him away from God, but I did not want him to grow up a mind without a soul” (Page 266). Reb Saunders raises his son through a tradition that has been in his family for a long time. However, he accomplishes his goal. His method of raising his son is dramatically different from David Malter’s modern practice. The results are also different. Danny has gone through much more pain and suffering than Reuven, and he chooses to carry on this practice if he must. Modernity and tradition present in the different ideas of these men influences the lives and ideas of their children as well.
In the matter where they are the same, both Danny and Reuven learn lots from their father and have their religious viewpoints learned from their father. For Danny, he comes from a long line of Hassidic rabbis which most likely led to his upbringing as a Hassidic Jew too. Danny learned his religious stance from his father just as how Reuven learned about his religious viewpoint as a Zionist from his father. When Reuven is excommunicated from speaking with Danny and their family, Reuven grows even more closely to his father and truly takes the initiative to push for the Jewish homeland, just like how Danny obeys his father’s commands and stays out from helping the creation. While Danny and Reuven are similar in the sense that they learn of their Jewish traditions from their father, they are also different in the sense that they were brought up differently. Danny is brought up in silence, as Reb Saunders believes in “speaking through silence.” Danny’s father doesn’t talk to Danny four years. Reb speaks through his wife and Reuven or other people too. Reb Saunders explains why he decided to do this when he is speaking to Reuven and Danny towards the end of the
All through the entire book, Chaim Potok attempted various endeavor in order to express the emphasis on developing his central characters, Reuven Malter and Danny Saunders. One of the main themes Chaim Potok tried to express in The Chosen is that true friendship plays a vital role in maintaining the welfare of any friends. To backbone his idea, Chaim Potok demonstrated several scenarios when Reuven and Danny are in difficult situations and ultimately have to sort out solutions before the problems could corrupt their relationship. Reuven Malter, son of a Modern Orthodox teacher, is smart, athletic and has a particular nick for mathematics. However, Reuven's desire is to become a rabbi of his own sect for he feels that he could " be more useful to people as a rabbi ," ("The Chosen" 74) by doing things such as to " teach them, and help them when they're in trouble " ("The Chosen" 74) Danny Saunders, on the other hand, is the son of a Russian Hasidic rabbi leader, Reb Saunders.
Daisy lacks self confidence which made it harder to raise her fifteen year-old son Donny. There were many instances where Daisy pondered on what she can do better to help Donny in school, but as she put forth an effort, she always resisted. “She remembered when Amanda was born. Donny had acted lost and bewildered. Daisy had been alert to that of course, but still, a new baby keeps you busy of course….”(570) When Daisy saw this happening, she never stopped to reassure Donny that even though he had a sister, it was not going to change their relationship. Daisy should have reassured her son by correcting the problem as soon as it surfaced, then Donny should have understood. When Donny started to have problems in school, Daisy gave up without trying, and let a tutor dictate her son’s activities especially when the teacher questions Daisy about Donny’s actions, Daisy replied, “Oh I’m sorry, Miss Evans, but Donny’s tutor handles these things now…” (572) In school Donny’s behavior changed soo drastically that he started to stay out late and Daisy just sat back and let this happen. “The tutor had sat down so many rules![She] were not allowed any questions at all about school, nor were to speak with his teachers…,Only one teacher disobeyed…”(572) Because Daisy didn’t believe in herself or her word, she let others control and therefore his behavior worsened.