Looking Back on My Memories

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Carved, flickering pumpkins perched on the porch, and cheap decorations cluttered the walls with a few fold out chairs. I snatched the bowl of candy and plopped in an old chair. Two shadowy figures appeared sprinting my direction. They ran desperately, rolling in the leaves and throwing toads at one another. I admired the two little boys' longing gaze at the bowl of treats. I froze. My childhood innocence manifested itself into a stressful environment with an encroaching future and changed perspective of the world. I remained myself throughout the years, but my view on anticipation for the future, my ways of relaxation and my mindset of the world changed dramatically.
The boys' high pitched giggles reminded me of my impatient youth that could not wait for life to pass me by: for holidays, for school, or to grow a little older. Anticipation to unfold the future filled me with a spunk that energized the passage of time to whizz by. Now, I cling on to every nostalgic moment wishing for its return, to tether me down, to prolong the responsibly creeping up on me. Some of the responsibilities allow me to decide for myself and be a trustworthy person. Little me dreamed of the capabilities granted to me now; I drive myself anywhere want without the hinderance of constantly needing supervision and late nights out with friends that go well past my old bedtime. I gained more respect by my elders and teacher. I never stopped aspiring to live by the standards that I laid out for myself. As a youngster, in a world forged by adults, I portrayed a grown, sophisticated individual hopefully accepted into the exclusive world that only age that could bring entry. I proved myself to be wrong and right; I gained trust and respect but in the process I t...

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... instead of askew opinions.
That night transported me to happier times. Blowing the candles out on my eighteenth birthday blew away my childhood; however it permitted me rights for passage into mature responsibility. Racing toward an unknown goal, waiting for the payoff and realizing a little too late that the payoff happens to sit right in front of my eyes: to enjoy every aspect of the present. I long for my youth to return to me but now understand the responsibility of adulthood. As I progress further into my age, I will not forget the joy youth brought me, but instead, carry it along with me. I only wish that I cherished those silly times while they still belonged to me. Now I hope to make new adventures as an adult and cherish all life offers that I overlooked in my endless joy as a child. I hope with my rapid growth I still fit inside those wonderful boxes.

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