Longhaven Cliffs: A Fictional Narrative

The man had bright red-orange hair, and a smile brighter than the sun. The man bent over him, head blocking out the rays of the sun from his eyes. “You okay there, kiddo?” The man asked, dropping his hand towards them, offering help to get up. “You took quite the fall.
Lachlan only grinned sarcastically, getting up without the help of the stranger. “I’m fine thank you so much.” He said, brushing off the dirt from his clothes. “It wasn’t a long fall in the first place, a few feet at least.”
The man only laughed; falling to the ground laughing until his face matched the colour of his hair. “A few feet!” He screamed, mid-laugh. “Yah fell off Longhaven Cliffs! Yah fell into the North Sea! Had to jump in ‘n’ save yah!” And that was when Lachlan

“You could’ve died! Thankfully I didn’t.”
“I wouldn’t have died if you opened it, only if it's on my food.” Lachlan explained, “I only get a reaction if it’s ingested.”
Scotty sighed in relief, then looked Lachlan up and down. "So, you mean that I can have peanut butter? As long as you don't eat it?" He asked, eyes wide.
Lachlan nodded, ignoring Scotty's gaze. Stepping into the kitchen and scanning the shelves of food. Passing the ones with weird names he couldn't pronounce, before stopping at one can. 'Longhaven Cliffves Crab' was printed on the can, with a stereotypical cartoon crab smiling on the front. He pushed the can towards Jason. "What does this say?" He asked, pressing the can to Jason's chest.
"Oh, it's pronounced 'Long-Haven Cliff-ves Crab.' It's a brand of canned crab, it's real good." Jason laughed, grabbing the can. "We can have it for dinner if you're hungry enough for it." Moving to grab a can opener from one of the lower drawers, and opening the can with little struggle.
As soon as the metal cover was opened, a fowl smell erupted from the can, making a few of the flies drop to the

"Because two things. 1. My mom used to do it in bad times, and 2. I love you Lochlann!" He grinned at Lachlan's confused face.
"You can't be in love with me." Lachlan said, leaning away from Jason. "We only met today."
Jason pouted, sitting back down in his seat. "Have you no heart? Don't you believe in love at first sight?" He asked, shoveling crab bits into his mouth. "Well you do have a heart. I made one on your plate." He mumbled, through the crab.
Lachlan sighed. "You're too gay for your own good Jason." He started picking at the crab.
Jason gasped, insultingly. "I am a happy trans-sexual and you can't tell me what or who I'm supposed to fall in love with!" He pointed his finger at Lachlan. "I am allowed to my choice of date-mates."
Lachlan only nodded, gulping. "Wait, you're trans?" He asked, surprised. "I didn't even know, amazing."
"It's called hormones and surgeries." Jason grinned. "It's a blessing. I look and feel very manly. I'm so happy that you couldn't notice. Means they did good." He sat back in his chair, brushing a hand through his hair. "I'm extremely happy on how they gave me a penis. Very thankful of it." He