Family Group Journal

THE GROUP JOURNAL

Each member writes down in his own notebook the topics he would like to propose, as well as agreements and decisions reached by the group as a whole. Only in the family group is there criticism. Until then, observations are written down in the group notebook.
But memory for good intentions seems even weaker than memory for experiences. Here the note card can be a big help. Often simply grabbing for the note card marked "Politeness'' can prevent insulting a partner or hurting his feelings. The note card labeled "Orderliness'' reminds one that aggravation can be avoided by adopting a more careful behavior.
At the agreed time, the family group meets and, if possible, sits in a circle around a table. It is important that no one

Plans are also made for future undertakings-purchases, trips, inviting company over, parties, gifts. Every member of the family thus learns to work actively in the family and becomes aware that the family group is not just formal arrangement or the source of problems, but that he can exert influence on the family's decisions. Within the family, which to a certain extent functions without conscious control, there is usually an unconscious division of roles, strongly held disinclinations, and particular preferences. Since a family group functions simultaneously, i.e., with all members present at the same time and actively participating in the group, there is a move toward many-sided and -leveled transfers and emotional involvements. These can help to better control the ties and

The actual group event can be oriented according to this formal guide. Since feelings cannot be arranged very easily, this presentation of the family group was intentionally limited to specific game rules. But at least equally important are the emotional atmosphere in which the family event is carried out and the mutual understanding and the willingness to empathize with the other family members, even when one has conflicts with them. According to my experiences, stubborn tensions in the family can be objectivized and broken down if, for example, stories are told within the family group that are relevant to the existing problems. The story frequently becomes a central pole around which the subsequent discussion revolves. In the same way, the tools of Positive Family Therapy can be presented at such a group session and can then be worked through. In so doing, it has been verified that everyone answers these