Shyness In Romantic Relationships

There are social problems, such as difficulty meeting people and making new friends, which may leave the shy woefully isolated and subject to loneliness and depression. There are cognitive problems; unable to think clearly in the presence of others, the shy tend to freeze up in conversation, confusing others who are trying to respond to them. They can appear snobbish or disinterested in others when they are in fact just plain nervous. Excessively egocentric, they are relentlessly preoccupied with every aspect of their own appearance and behavior. They live trapped between two fears: being invisible and insignificant to others, and being visible but worthless[Psychology today staff.]The shadow side of shyness is that we might distance ourselves from people before giving them a chance. If we were often shamed or rejected, we might see the world through the distorted lens of old hurts and assume people are unsafe without checking them out. At the

Claire Rowsell, of the School of Psychology at the University of Wollongong in Australia, compared the shyness levels of individuals in a romantic relationship to those who were not. She further assessed how the attachment bond within the relationship (avoidant, anxious, or secure) influenced byproducts of shyness, including anxiety, depression, and overall well-being. Rowsell evaluated self-reports from more than 1,500 young adults and found that those in romantic relationships had lower levels of shyness than those who were not. However, romantically involved shy individuals reported less satisfying relationships and lower wellbeing than their less shy counterparts. Additionally, the shy, romantically involved participants experienced more attachment insecurity and anxiety. When Rowsell looked at how being in a relationship affected shyness, she found that the individuals who had secure relationship attachments realized a buffering effect between shyness and well-being.[Good,Therapy