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Gender differences in relationships
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Hol(e)y Matrimony
Even the most durable substances can fall apart. Marriage, a structure built upon the union of two people for eternity, can be destroyed—especially when the two feel threatened by the inevitable stress and frustration that follows. Eric Bartels, an author for the Portland Tribune, wrote in his article, My Problem With Her Anger, about receiving anger from his wife and his own discontent in his marriage. Bartels establishes his opinion that fundamental differences between men and women can deter marriage, through his use of strands and diction to describe reactions to stress from marriage based on gender; however, with his use of generalizations and loaded language to attack the female audience, his claim is limited.
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While he is effective in defining his sacrifices, his self-victimizing diction limits his claim as he blames his wife for his suffering and frustration. He discusses the social sacrifices he made as he no longer has personal time to have smaller liberties such as “time with friends...basketball games, beer” (Bartels 58) However, more importantly, he feels blindsided as he “wasn’t informed that [he] would give up golf altogether...not warned that sex would become a rarer commodity” (Bartels 63). Because Bartels claims he was unaware he would have to sacrifice so much with marriage, he places the blame for his dissatisfaction onto someone else’s shoulders, mainly his wife. Using a militaristic strand of diction, Bartels depicts his wife as an aggressive and offensive threat. Bartels explains how he has a consistent “fervor to confront(defeat)” problems that arise in his marriage, alluding that he exhaustingly fights through the problems he faces to meliorate the situation(Bartels 63). Additionally, Bartels feels as though his “castle, it is under siege. From within” which conveys his experience from menacing frustration and anger as well as his self-victimizing action by describing his sense of peril (Bartels 59). If Bartels places himself as the hero who nobly fights against danger for the greater good of the marriage, there must be an antagonist to the story. He vilifies his wife by portraying her as a constant threat, and consequently, not taking responsibility for his own emotions. Instead, exemplifying the a hasty generalization fallacy, he blames her inability to control her anger for all problems he faces throughout the marriage. Because he does not accept any responsibility and accuses his wife of his stress and sacrifice, his claim crumbles, even though he was able to provide specific examples of the sacrifices he
Ulrich had a well explanation for her slogan on "well-behaved women." She supports her slogan by bringing up certain women stereotypes that have been going on throughout history. She uses these stereotypes to explain how certain people view on women.
A History of Marriage by Stephanie Coontz speaks of the recent idealization of marriage based solely on love. Coontz doesn’t defame love, but touches on the many profound aspects that have created and bonded marriages through time. While love is still a large aspect Coontz wants us to see that a marriage needs more solid and less fickle aspects than just love.
A married couple may not always be the happiest couple even though it may seem that love is expressed in the relationship. Some marriages are meant to be while some are not. What causes a person to be dissatisfied with their marriage? Or how do external factors play a role on the outcome of a relationship? As for the case in "Holding Things Together" and "The Painted Door"; these short stories have a few similarities, but they also have many contrasting factors to take into consideration on why one couple is successful with there relationship while the other is not.
In the short story “Woman Hollering Creek” the conflict of the story is between the main characters Cleofilas, the protagonist, and Juan, the antagonist who are married. The conflict stems from Cleofilas’ perception of how a wife should be treated versus Juan’s idea of how to treat
Marriage is an important theme in the stories Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston and The Story of an Hour by Kate Chopin. When someone hears the word “marriage”, he thinks of love and protection but Hurston and Chopin see that differently. According to them, women are trapped in their marriage and they don’t know how to get out of it so they use language devices to prove their points.
Research of literature depends on the theory or topic one is researching. Research uncovers what the author knows about his or her discipline and its practices. Augustus Napier is a family therapist with vast experience in family therapeutic processes and experiential therapy with couples. In my research of his background, I reviewed his book “The Family Crucible.” In this text, Dr. Napier chronicles the therapeutic process of one fictitious family (which is a composite of real cases) experiencing marital discord. In reviewing the case studies in this book, I gained insight into his style of the therapeutic process, which exposed Dr. Napier’s framework which leads to his assumptions about marriage. The details of this case study coupled with Dr. Napier’s added paragraphs and chapters of analyses with his conclusions on the maladaptive reasons people marry other people make this resource of great qualitative value. Additionally, useful evaluative data revealing a deeper insight into Dr. Napier’s position on irreconcilable differences can be fo...
In Simone de Beauvoir's The Woman Destroyed, the reader is given a deep psychological portrait of a women's failing marriage. Not only does Beauvoir show us the thoughts and confidences of one beset by inner turmoil, she also portrays for us the marriage as it appears from the outside. The main character in The Woman Destroyed is the narrator Monique. She has been married to her husband Maurice for over twenty years and is trying to keep herself emotionally together after the realization that he is having an affair. Other characters the author introduces are the couple's two daughters, Colette and Lucienne. Colette has recently married and moved out of her parent's house. Lucienne, the younger of the two children, has moved to America to live an independent life from her family.
Marital drift can occur in any marriage relationship, regardless of culture, status, religious beliefs and practices, or lifestyle. Various factors can contribute to marital drift. Individuals and couples face many demands upon their time, energy, and attention. In their research, King and DeLongis (2014) report that the marriage relationship involves a variety complex interactions, all of which are influenced by a variety of stress and coping processes. These interactions (or lack thereof), constraints, and stressors can cause a drift to occur, separating the couple from each other emotionally, sexually, and physically. If not tended to, a marital drift can ultimately end in divorce.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Frye opens the essay with a statement how women’s anger is not well received by this society. Men view women’s anger as worthless and ignorable because they cannot control their anger as they view them simply because she was upset, hysterical or crazy. Men tend to control their anger by through violence, or downgrading by informing her how he cannot handle her anger. Male had not understood the fact that anger is normal reaction for the irritability, disorderly and frustrations caused by other person from the person to able go forth to their desired goal. For example, you are looking forward to go a concert but the storm hit, thus making the concert to cancel which it ends of disappointment but not anger since you cannot control the weather.
Martineau clearly had a strong political agenda in writing this story, however in doing so, she addresses the fundamental difference she sees in the roles of responsibility in marriage. In her mind, the husband and the wife have clearly defined roles, not so much along lines of production, but rather in terms of the household. That which is in the household, whether it is the domestic duties or financial responsibility, falls to the wife while it is the husband who is responsible for the income stream.
For example, after being told about the disturbing wallpaper, John fails to remove the wallpaper because he truly believes that the yellow wallpaper lets his wife to get better. John sincerely tries to make it easier for his wife, however, his ignorant behavior worsens the illness. John is so competent about his own good judgement, and, thus, by paying no attention to the narrator’s own viewpoint of the depression’s treatment, he forces and pushes his wife to secrete her real emotional state. In addition, John constantly treats his wife with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of his superiority. In fact, the last thing he would like is to ruin his wife emotionally and spiritually, however, he refuses to treat her as an individual with her own desires and thoughts. In “The Yellow Wallpaper,” Charlotte Gilman give the reader an effective evidence that spouse’s failure to pay the proper emotional attention is one feature of passive force which hurts and damages wives. In every society, whether it is one hundred years ago or at present time, there are some husbands who intentionally disregard the existence of women as well as they do not encourage wives’ individual and unique growth. Furthermore, because marriage is assumed to be a union of equal spouses, particular ignorance of wives’ personal position usually leads to women’ depression
The bleak tone of this story takes a particularly sad and disturbing tinge when the wife illustrates a scene from early on in her marriage where she tries to get her husband to satisfy her desire and provide her with mutual satisfaction, only to have him rebuke and reprimand her. In fact, the husband responds in such a particularly brusque and hysterical manner that the reader can see how traumatized the wife would have been at ...
...entury gender roles within their marriage are unbalanced, furthermore, holding a reoccurring pattern of injustice.
While it has traditionally been men who have attached the "ball and chain" philosophy to marriage, Kate Chopin gave readers a woman’s view of how repressive and confining marriage can be for a woman, both spiritually and sexually. While many of her works incorporated the notion of women as repressed beings ready to erupt into a sexual a hurricane, none were as tempestuous as The Storm.