For the Final Portfolio Essay Revision, I decided to revise Module Two Essay, Intersectionality, in part because it is the one I received the lower grade and didn't fully understand what was ask of me. This time I understood the assignment a little bit better it was still confusing at time but I manage to fully embed myself in the process of the revision. Here is what I change to my Module Two Essay, the first step I took was read the assignment paper again to understand the entire idea behind the essay. I then read and re-read the essay repeatedly. I then read the advises Professor Kalter provided me with for all three drafts. I guided myself through her comments. When over the most comment issues first, structure, in the process of the
As I was looking back at my previous work I realized that my personal essay was my lowest grade. As I worked to revise this piece I realized the areas I can improve on. Some areas I could to work on, based of my personal essay was changing from past to present tense within my essay, my use of semicolons, and working on hooking the reader in my intro.
The theory of intersectionality is a very important concept when analysing the many different obstacles an individual may face throughout their life time. It takes into consideration that an individual is identified by many different labels rather than by their gender alone. Through the analysis of historical texts and extensive knowledge of activists and authors on the topic, Hunter College women’s and Gender Studies collective and Joan Simalchik (2016) is able to provide insight on the importance of intersectionality in studying identity markers and social categories when considering the many obstacles an individual may face through relations of power and privilege, multiple identities, and intersections of oppression.
The identities help what makes people’s individualities to stand out uniquely because of the American society’s individuality. Intersectionality is a term for the interconnected of
Empowering Intersectionality Intersectionality can be seen in many situations across the world. Oftentimes it is related to assimilation and adaptation, however these situations are not always seen as a force to completely change one’s views. In Yvonne Ridley’s essay How I Came to Love the Veil she explains how her “devastating” situation of captivity by the Taliban altered her views. In Sandra Cisneros’ essay Only Daughter she also explains how intersectionality lead her to believe that her father would no longer accept her.
Growing up, it has never been difficult spotting me in a crowd. Just look for the brown blip in the sea of pallor and you have a 99% chance of picking me. In a city of Mary Smith’s and John Johnson’s, “Michaela Benyam Zewde” sticks out like a sore thumb. My pride in my Ethiopian-American heritage is a characteristic I refuse to keep hidden.
Over the course of the last few months I have been stepping back from my daily routine to observe in as wide a scope as possible, the endless number of things happening. As I mentioned earlier, for many years I made it a point to keep my spiritual life separate from my personal. Furthermore, the news seemed to be an endless meditation on negativity; draining to say the least. From where I stand now imposing that artificial separation between spiritual and person seem rather trite and juvenile, despite the fact that it was beneficial for a time.
Intersectionality is a term used to describe a situation whereby an individual has multiple identities and as result, the person feels that he or she doesn’t belong to one community or another. Because of the many conflicts in an individual’s identities, he or she could be a victim of multiple threats of discrimination (Williams, 2017). The discrimination could be a result of race, gender, age, health and ethnicity among others. To give an example, a black transgender woman could be discriminated in the workplace because of being black and also because she is transgender. From an intersectionality perspective, the woman faces multiple threats of discrimination because of the overlapping identities of gender and race and therefore the transwoman faces a bigger struggle (Barber, 2017). Transwomen of color will most likely encounter prejudices in the form of homophobia, racism or sexism in many dimensions of their life. The perspective of intersectionality is not only applicable to women but it can also be applied to males. For example, a gay Latino man could be discriminated based on race because he is an immigrant into
Intersectionality was one of the greatest concepts this course shed light on, intersectionality is can be broadly defined as the coming together of various social groups to work together to fight against forms of oppression. In the conceptual frameworks portion of the book Readings for Diversity and Social Justice, they talk about the importance of privileged identities and disadvantaged identities coming together to work towards solving a particular issue. While before taking this course I was somewhat aware of the various forms of oppression, I never gave much thought to how I could help combat forms of oppression that I did not necessarily experience with my own identity.
While brainstorming the process essay, I realized my weaknesses and planned better how to strengthen them. I knew simple grammatical errors and transitions were two of the most important ones I needed to correct. So while thinking of my topics to include in my essay, I thought of how each of them connected. In what ways can I draw connections between the three of these topics? Through asking myself this question, I transitioned from the paragraph of agency background to volunteer work with a more satisfying flow (“The Civic Responsibility” 2). While it took me longer to draft this essay, it ended up being worth it in the long run. I felt more accomplished of this paper and when I received feedback that required me to change minimal things; I knew it was worth
The modules I completed allowed me to know what needed to be worked on. The weaknesses I have were pointed out and provided areas to be improved. I learned tips on how to catch my errors, and there are simple ways to correct the errors. The most important skill is being able to make my writing stronger in general. However, there are some things I would like to see changed in the course. The beginning of the semester is new, and it is hard to sit down focused on one subject. Therefore, I think that the diagnostic essay should have extended time. It is a challenge to write at the normal English level in sixty minutes. There should be a day of just preplanning the essay to develop solid ideas for the essay. If there was more time to preplan then essays would have better topic sentences and better organization. That would result in less modules to be done throughout the semester. Also, that there should be more topic choices than just two options. I have a hard time writing about a topic that does not feel connected to me in anyway. Another, section could be added on punctuation. There is a usage on commas, but there could a usage added for question marks and other
“There is no perfect relationship. The idea that there is gets us into so much trouble.”-Maggie Reyes. Kate Chopin reacts to this certain idea that relationships in a marriage during the late 1800’s were a prison for women. Through the main protagonist of her story, Mrs. Mallard, the audience clearly exemplifies with what feelings she had during the process of her husbands assumed death. Chopin demonstrates in “The Story of an Hour” the oppression that women faced in marriage through the understandings of: forbidden joy of independence, the inherent burdens of marriage between men and women and how these two points help the audience to further understand the norms of this time.
I have learned so many things this year about the reading and writing process that I can’t wait to apply next year too! One of these items is the revision process in writing an essay. I have always done some sort of first draft, second draft type of thing, but I didn’t realize how important it is to look back at your final draft and make changes to that. I have learned this concept this year by doing the mandatory and optional revisions. This has showed me that nothing will be perfect and there will always be room to improve; that idea is something that I could apply to not only writing but to life. Furthermore, I learned about the importance of having a second pair of eyes look at my assignment. This is important to do because oftentimes they
Thankfully, the feedback I’ve received all throughout this course assisted me in understand my essays better because of all the corrections I’ve made throughout the course. The strengths and weakness will certainly do not mean I will not continue to write essay. It will actually, also make me further aware when writing a complex essay. Thanks to the fact, that I have been able to comprehend the mistake as well as the good material, for future essays I will surely not have the weaknesses I have now and stronger
Throughout the Mid-SEE I have written reflections on my writing and participated in group activities. I have received comments back from my peers and suggestions to help with revising my paper. With the help of my professor, Professor Church and my classmates, I was able to comprehend their suggestions to me to make my essay better and by revising my classmate’s essays, I was able to point out mistakes that I might have made in my essay, which made myself go back to my essay and check and see if I had mistakes that just flew by my eyes.
B. My structure is not clear enough. Although there are topic sentences and conclusions, my structure is messy inside paragraph. Therefore, in next academic essay, I will list my structure of the whole essay and every paragraph before writing the first draft. In addition, I will optimize my structure when I am writing the essay to make the structure of essay fit in the content of essay.