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Progression and consequences of abuse in relationship dynamics
Progression and consequences of abuse in relationship dynamics
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An inherently dysfunctional relationship requires two equal but opposite forces. In the case of Jen and her narcissist partner John, as in most partnerships with narcissists, it involved a pleaser who is codependent and the narcissist who is a controller. The narcissist partner attracts the codependent person by being the one who offers to lead them through the dance of life. They appear powerful, competent, and knowledgeable. This gives the codependent person who is typically afraid of mistakes a sense of security, which initially is attractive. However, as the dance of life progresses, the narcissist become more boldly selfish and causes their partners to loose his or her sense of self worth, ability to connect with others, or feeling that she could have a life without the partner. The resulting fear makes the codependent person too paralyzed to take action to escape. Although they could benefit greatly from therapy, they don’t even feel that therapy is an option. Their partner makes them feel sad, helpless, and suggests that all their problems are the result of external forces, leaving them angry at the world. This manipulation is why so many never escape. …show more content…
Even after they grow and leave the nest, they feel that everything they do is a reflection of the parent and thus must meet the narcissist’s expectations. As an adult, these children exhibit a personality and behavioral pattern that is not their own. Instead it is when they think that their parent or others want from them. They become a people pleaser and feel that any time something goes wrong or someone is unhappy it is their fault. Since these people’s childhood was so corrupt and drama filled, as adults they tend to seek out toxic relationships. They are lifetime people pleasers who quash their own feelings and needs, unless they get psychotherapy or other treatment to help save them from their experiences with the
He will continue to do anything that will make him feel entitled and will continue to use anyone that will reach him to his desired level. It is dangerous to be involved with a narcissistic individual. Their intentions seem naturally good, but once they see the dedication of their victims’ helping hand, they will continue to take advantage until they see no use for them. Once trapped into the bubble of the narcissist, the victim will find ways to run away from them. For Hud, everyone wanted to escape from him and the only way to do it was to depart. Alma searched for another job outside of their little town. Homer died at the arms of Lonnie and Hud while saying, “Hud is waiting for me to go.” Lonnie looks out of the ranch for another job. Hud became toxic and is exhausted his family and housekeeper. He was left alone. It seems impossible to help a narcissist, because telling them the truth of their ignorance is insulting to their character and they will refuse to hear out any of it. That does not mean there is not help for them. Psychotherapy is the best option because it gives narcissists. Through therapy, they must be willing to accept their failure and faults and learn to deal with the problem without hurting others. It is a difficult task for a narcissist, but it is a step to cope with their egotistical minds. It is hard for them to accept they are not perfect and will feel belittled. Once they
Zora Neale Hurston, an acclaimed African-American writer, wrote the novel Their Eyes Were Watching God during a time when women did not have a large say in their marriages. The novel follows the main character Janie in her quest to find what she thinks is true love and happiness. Hurston highlights the idea of healthy and unhealthy relationships throughout Janie’s three marriages. Each marriage had its advantages but they were largely overshadowed by their disadvantages resulting in Janie learning the hard truth about married life for a women of color in the 1920s. Ultimately the reader and Janie learn that in order to be happy in a marriage you must love, learn, and lose from past relationship experiences to figure out what truly makes you
Those with this personality style have a constant need for love and affection, as well as attention. It is very hard for Narcissistic people to see themselves age, so they attempt to keep themselves looking young. They often believe in “quick fixes” for aging such as aging creams, surgeries, etc. Elderly with this personality style tend to look for constant reassurance for desirableness-they surround themselves with people who make them feel important. The narcissistic tend to be depressive when levels of attention towards them drop. This is an issue because older adults with this personality style won’t reach out; they just wait to receive attention even if it is dire to their health and
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
Classified as part of the Dramatic Personality Disorder, a Narcissistic Personality Disorder is based on the extremity of self-admiration. The origin of the specific personality disorder comes from the Greek root word “narcissism,” which is based on Greek mythology of Narcissus who was a man that fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. The cause of the illness is unknown, however professional mental health doctors believe the condition may be due to how a child was raised. When still in the adolescent years, excessive unconditional or an insufficient amount of love from the parents may be the cause of the disorder. Early signs of the mental illness can be spotted by adulthood. The majority of the people who are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder show symptoms such as being conceited and garrulous by exaggerating achievements and goals that are unrealistic while ...
What happens when Narcissism takes over a generation? Is that generation the only generation who is affected? A narcissistic generation does not happen on it 's own. Majority of Millennial 's characteristics are negative but not entirely negative. However, Generation Me only values themselves. Their overemphasis on self-esteem is well intentioned but often leads to narcissism. Both terms can be avoided with proper treatment.
We live in an age where change is current, the future is unsure, and we feel we have very little control over our circumstances. This realization will bring the narcissist to questioning of his or her false Self. One must remember that you cannot fight fire with fire, the professionals use water! When the Super Mighty Penguin comes to feel emotionally and physically empty and at the end of its road, it will need to find professional help, as its false self will have run its course and/or will be out of control. And this is the doorway to finding one's true self, the doorway to the inner castle.
The only person the narcissist will ever pity or feel sorry for is him/herself. If the narcissist believes he/she can get away with doing something (even if it's illegal, immoral, or will hurt someone), he/she will do it. At different times, many high profile individuals are classified as a narcissist in the media. The movie “The Wolf Of Wall Street” demonstrates how a rapid success leads to the narcissistic behavior. “Feel good” holiday movies, usually focus on traditional family values of heroism whereas Martin Scorsese in his film “The Wolf of Wall Street,” does the opposite. The movie focus on lavish life of Jordan but it was a true satire for an individual exploring quick fortune and shortcut of getting rich. Although many critics argue that “The Wolf of Wall Street” focuses mostly on the greed of Belfort, his extravagant luxurious lifestyle and portrayal of women as sex toys and leaves viewer with no moral message, I would disagree, as the film does delivers a moral message that rapid success can cause an individual to develop narcissistic behavior, which eventually leads to destruction and the financial message that will be helpful in investments business.
Firstly, what is exactly narcissism? The word ‘narcissism’ was derived from an ancient Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was depicted as a handsome young man who adored his looks very much. Many young maidens fell in love with him but he criticizes them for being too ugly for him. One day, he fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. However, he accidentally drowned himself as he tried to touch his reflection. Hence, the word ‘narcissism’ is usually depicted as a personality that reflects excessive of self-love on oneself. Individuals who are narcissistic are usually described as somebody who is selfish, snobbish or proud. This is because narcissistic individual processes information obtained differently than others. They believe that they deserve more than others since they think they are more superior in every aspect. Due to their sense of grandiosity, they will do anything in order t...
One who is narcissistic cares more of what they are obtaining from “the relationship” rather than building a lasting bond with another. Brunell & Campbell (2012) suggested that this manipulation of another person in a relationship assists the narcissistic person “to regulate their narcissistic esteem” (p. 345). Although this concept sounds simplistic, it can take the form of unexpected expressions. When one calls to mind a grandiose person who is married to someone who they consider a ‘trophy spouse,’ the key concept is that the person is primarily fulfilling a perceived need. The person with whom the narcissist is having a relationship could just as easily be an extremely matronly/paternalistic person, similar to one that that they wished was there for them during the narcissistic person’s childhood (*******). However, as relationships there is generally a mutual attraction, one cannot oversimplify such relationships by saying that the narcissistic person manipulated their significant other into a relationship.
Some narcissistic parents are emotionally and mentally abusive to their children, this can often make the child question their worthiness. Since some parents are dependent on their child and form a dependency bond between them, it affects and strips the child from having a normal childhood. Most who suffer from narcissistic parenting are left wondering why their experiences are much different than their friends. Some parents would also pretend to be sick or unhealthy in order for the child to continue taking care of them; this cripples the child from developing their own independence. The effects of this tactic can last through adulthood, taking away the individual’s ability to move forward and starting their own life. On the other hand, some children can become extremely dependent on their parent because they are manipulated into thinking they are unable to care of themselves. Parents who have an effect on their children like this are extremely controlling but very affectionate. Their relationship of dependency with their parents can up to their adult years. Therefore, these children who are victims will remain naïve in their adult years because they were incapable of gain life skills. Clair M. Hart pointed out that it has been predicted that a child’s depression and anxiety is connected with “reduced parental care, elevated parental shaming, overprotection, and favouristism” (Personality and Difference 250). Narcissistic parents feel threatened by their child’s growing independence, so they hover over their developing years; thus, becoming overly possessive. There are other parents who acknowledge their child’s mistakes more than their positive attributes, so a child can resort to self-blame. They would try to fix themselves and begin believing that it is their fault for receiving the negative treatment from their parent. Victims can also
In Jean Twenge’s novel titled, “Generation Me”, she describes “Generation Me” as a group of self-obsessed, overconfident, assertive, miserable individuals. “Gen-Me” cares about what other people think so much they 'll go to great lengths to “impress” their peers. Self-obsession can be viewed as a sickness of the mind. The average person may be oblivious to the fact that 1 out of 6 people are narcissists. “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” - Jefferey Kluger
The gradual collapse of autarchic fantasies in the child produces the “lesion in narcissism inflicted through passive submission” obviously because a child is helpless without muscles and mobility. Thus, as an adult, there is this “unconscious repetition compulsion” to restore the narcissistic break at birth, plus multiple other “breaks” as a child, adolescent and adult. Based on personality type, some overcome and become the adult guardian for their “inner child;” others are emotionally scarred by their families, friends, classmates and fellow employees and are repeatedly trying to figure out “why.” However, the genesis began at
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder classified in the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as one of the major personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined by the DSM-V, is the “pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy” that typically begins by early adulthood (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Those individuals who suffer with narcissistic personality disorder often have an inflated sense of self-importance while also displaying other characteristics. Individuals who exhibit five or more of the following traits are often diagnosed with the personality disorder: “(a) a grandiose sense of self-importance; (b) preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love; (c) beliefs of being special and unique; (d) requirements of excessive admiration; (e) a sense of entitlement; (f) interpersonal exploitativeness; (g) lack of empathy; (h) envy of others; and (i) arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes” (Skodel, Bender, & Morey, 2013). Those who display these traits often display them in socially stressful ways that affect their relationships with others and interferes with their professional and personal lives.
Have you ever had the pleasure of working with an individual who was completely full of themselves? This person loved to be the center of attention and the topic of every subject, had extravagant dreams and considered themselves to be a person of many talents. This same person believed that they were a better leader than you would ever be and had no problem telling you that. He or she thought that the best way to gain the admiration of others and receive confirmation of their authority was by “talking down” to those who threaten them. The qualities that I mentioned are all common traits of a narcissist. Narcissist tend to think that they are better leaders than what they actually are according to their peers and coworkers. Proverbs 29:2 says "When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn" (King James Bible Online, 2015).