Humorous Wedding Roast by a Childhood Friend

Humorous Wedding Speech by a Childhood Friend

Wouldn’t you know it, this is the first time Steve has ever bought me dinner and I was too nervous to eat it.

Ladies and gentlemen, before I start, I've been asked to make a couple of announcements. Firstly, the hotel manager has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you are to get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation. And secondly - following the speeches, Steve's brother, Richard, will be singing us that lovely old standard, ‘I'm dancing tonight with tears in my eyes, cos the girl in my arms is a boy’. But first, it's time for me to make a speech and, at the same time, probably a complete ass of myself.

It's traditional for the best man to let the bride's parents know what sort of a man has married their daughter. In this respect, I might as well start at the beginning, because Steve and I have been through a lot together - in fact, we were just saying earlier how glad we are that none of them have turned up today.

Steve Messerli came into the world in 1973, the year of the Watergate scandal and the year in which 'The Exorcist' was first released. So it's true - bad things do come in threes.

But Steve was a fun-loving and happy child, always smiling mischievously and getting most fun from taking the tires off toy cars. How little did he know that many years later he would again be trying to remo...

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...wn Steve, she's already one of my best mates, and the unanimous decision of everyone who knows Steve is that, 'the boy done well'.

So I would like to take this opportunity to wish Steve and Linda all the health happiness and success in the world. Having got married myself last year, I can say with authority that marriage is a wonderful thing. It will teach Steve loyalty, self restraint, control, and it will develop in him a sense of fair play, selflessness and so many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had just stayed single.

So Ladies and gentlemen, I would ask all those that are still able to, to join me in being upstanding and raising a toast to the new Mr and Mrs Messerli - to Steve and Linda!