Wait a second!
More handpicked essays just for you.
More handpicked essays just for you.
Effects of neglecting children
Effects of neglecting children
Father son relationship in sons and lovers
Don’t take our word for it - see why 10 million students trust us with their essay needs.
Recommended: Effects of neglecting children
Strength, independence, and perseverance are some of the positive traits my father taught me along with several negative traits such as anger, distrust for others, and hatred toward men. My mom was a single mother from the start. As she delivered me, he sat inside of a jail cell. When he was out of the penitentiary, he would run away from his family to do drugs and meet women. He would often walk out on us without any warning and return at any time. I did not understand, especially as a child, how significant of an impact his vanishing act would bestow upon me. I grew to be distrusting of others, because if my dad would let me down, then so would everyone else. I became bitter at the world and everyone it encompassed. I blamed my father’s mistakes on the world and believed that the world’s influence made my father do drugs, prefer all of the other women to my mom, and spend more time in jail than he did in his own home. Being neglected by my father, seeing how his bad decisions not only hurt him but also his loved ones around him, and witnessing my mother struggle to raise my brother and me caused me to mature at an early age, and shaped my belief that I could not depend on anyone but myself in order to live a happy life.
I was a game to my father; he wanted to see how long it would take for me to forgive him and allow him back into my world. He won on every occasion; he could vanish for years, but once I saw him I opened my loving heart and let him in. I could not wait for our family to be normal again. He could do no wrong in my eyes. He loved me the best he could, but that was not good enough; I did not understand that he was an addict or what that entailed. He was unreliable and could not be expected to properly raise a fam...
... middle of paper ...
... well, helped me realize that even though life was hard, we still survived thirteen years without him, and we could actually live lives independent from him without the burden of his mistakes. By not letting him hold me back by dwelling on negative feelings he evoked inside of me, I grew, and realized that I had the power to make myself happy because my happiness is ultimately determined by me and my actions. I promised myself that no other person would control my feelings the way he did and that I would work hard so that I would not have to go through the same trials my mother went through. I grew up in a broken household, but I do not let that keep me from being successful. My mom did her best to push me, and instilled in me that I need to be an achiever. These memories of my childhood have remained in my head for years and have served as my motivation to succeed.
Growing up with a father who blamed me for the death of his wife which of course broke through any happiness, care or love he felt for me his own son. My house was always filled with dark gloomy colors and we never really had guests over at all. My father was a mystery most people but in his job he had power over people because they were frightened by his just by his presence. It was a very rare pleasure filled with fright when we spoke and I can only think of one time where I got a hint of positive feeling from him. It was a dark, rainy gloomy day and the house never held a promise for the future so I was constantly bored and decided to read some old books from my father’s dusty library. There I sat with a book in hand picking up any knowledge that I possibly could and he walked in and said to me “Montressor, you impress me with act of trying to do something useful”, I replied to him with the only thing I could ever say to him, yes sir. I can only remember the constant hate I would receive from him and it made me think that I would never please
For example, when I was younger my father told me that I would never be smart enough to attend college and that I might as well not even try to apply. For most of my life, this has caused me to think I would never be smart enough to graduate from high school or attend college. Eventually, I overcame this fear when I graduated high school and was accepted into college. I also had to learn not to take things personally from my father because the things that he said about me were not true. If I kept listening to him, I would always find myself hurt by the things he says. I began to realize that I had a problem with taking things personally, and I realized this even more after conducting some personal interviews about the Four
Even though it didn’t work out and neither did many other relationships after that. I refused to give up on being alone, or bitter for the rest of my life. I wanted my children to have a better childhood and life than I had, and this is where the stage of generativity vs. stagnation in my middle adulthood changed my life and made me the amazing person I am today. I began to look at the bigger picture, and what laid ahead in my future. I wanted things I never imagined were possible because of my family morals, and early stages and experiences through my development. I met my husband that I’m married to now for 24 years, and began to feel loved, wanted, cherished. My children saw me as supermom, loved me even though I had flaws. I wasn’t the perfect parent, but my kids loved and excepted me, and as they grew so did I, not only was I teaching them family values, and morals I never had, they were teaching me how to love myself and grow with them. I became very productive, went back to school to earn my high school diploma, and am now earning a college
As a maturing adult I now realize the importance of having a strong parental foundation. Throughout my life there have been moments where both parents demonstrated the characteristics of all four basic parenting styles. However, as I aged it became apparent that my parents had successfully found their niche in a parenting style that was analogous with their personality and beliefs. In my father's case it was the authoritative parenting style. With this style he captured my trust and respect; never letting me down. Furthermore, it was my mother's permissive parenting that undeniably contributed towards my love and gratitude for her. There were also instances where my parents influenced my life both positively and negatively. Nevertheless, I am forever grateful for having my parents in my life, for they contributed (and continue to contribute) towards my success as a growing adult.
...child. I had no choice but to shape up and make a way for the both of us. Having a child made me realize that life is not all fun and games as my mother would say. I learned that in life there are responsibilities. I truly believe that had I not had a child at an early age, I would still be a wild absentminded party girl and who knows what else may have happened.
The authors of the four memoirs overcame their childhood obstacles by reconnecting with their family members. Gary Soto decided to connect with his mother and work in the fields, despite not wanting to. Laurence Yep overcame feeling left out by bonding with his father and learning he can be good at other activities. Barack Obama overcame not liking and understanding who he was by talking to his dad and seeing his heritage come to life. Julia Alvarez overcame feeling unsafe under her dictator's rule by her family members planning a trip to America without getting caught. Authors of memoirs describe overcoming obstacles to teach readers how family connection is important and very helpful.
The values my dad instilled in me, provided me the opportunity for success, hard work, and the idea that, if there is something I want to achieve, it is I who must get it done. I love a quote I heard the other day, “if it’s got to be, it’s up to
helped to make me the person I am today, and I was able to look into the future
My father was always there for me, whether I wanted him to be or not. Most of the time, as an adolescent trying to claim my independence, I saw this as a problem. Looking back I now realize it was a problem every child needs, having a loving father. As hard as I tried to fight it, my dad instilled in me the good values and work ethic to be an honest and responsible member of society. He taught me how to be a good husband. He taught me how to be a good father. He taught me how to be a man. It has been 18 years since my father’s death, and I am still learning from the memories I have of him.
My father taught me how to pitch a softball, and how to mow the grass. He taught me how to protect my mother and be observant of my surroundings and others around me. My father was in my life, everyday. Sometimes we would bump heads, just because we were so much alike. We would bicker back and forth and then cut up. When we would drive down the road and see something, we’d think the same thing and look at each other at the same time just because we knew what each of us was
Growing up my mother and step-father taught me to be independent. They treated me with respect if I gave them respect and disciplined me when necessary. They also communicated with me well—my parents made sure to tell me what I was being punished. I would categorize my parents as authoritative parenting. I often saw my parents as super strict, but as I was growing up I saw that they were setting so many rules to protect me. As I became older, my parents were more lenient on certain rules—who I could go places with, how late I could stay out, and places I could stay the night at. There were plenty of times that I would go out to my best friend’s house for the night. My mom and step-dad always told me, “let us know when you get there,” she lived about thirty minutes from me. Every single time I would remember after being at her house for hours. By the time I would remember to text them, they would have already texted me. I would be punished for this—grounded and told that I cannot go back to her house for a few weeks. They also pushed me to do my best in school. If I was not making good grades, I couldn’t go anywhere and I wasn’t allowed to have my phone. Whenever my grades were high A’s I was rewarded with my phone or privileges to go places.
Growing up my mom and dad always showed us unconditional love. They shaped us to learn the right from the wrong and the importance of education. They related the troubles we experienced in America theirs in South America and how education primarily is the root to being successful in America. My dad would always say “we never had the opportunities you all have in America so don’t let it slip away”. Besides education, they taught us that money is easier spent then earned so to value a dollar. The upbringing in life that they had was very hard living and all the struggles they experience moving to a new country just to provide a better living environment for their kids. In their country beating your kids was known to put way word kids straight. My brother and I can contest to those beating but it made us into good kids. We didn’t give into the peer pressure of other kids in school and we learned to walk away from trouble instead of fighting. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t angels but we stayed out of the ways of trouble. I commend my parents for the person I’ve become and the independence they instilled in my life today. I’ve used the knowledge to shape the person I want to be and some day the mother I want to be for my kids. My parents brought me up with the foundation of kindness, humbleness, and understand with a strong spiritual Christian background. Their parenting styles
Ever since I was a little boy, I always dreamt that I would have a corporate job.
My personal growth came from a place of fear. My grandpa’s death had an enormous impact on my life, and it was the cause that brought these fears to mind. The fear of not being able to succeed in life. Before the end of eighth grade, I was energetic, self-confident, and more affectionate towards everyone and to myself. My grades were above average, I would go out and make new discoveries, and lived my life the way I wanted it to be. I sat at home and did nothing. I threw my life away, and I did not care about what the future held. I did not interact with my friends or family like I once did before. I used to have the fear of being a failure, and to be the person I was before having to deal with this situation. I knew I had to improve myself for the better in order to succeed in life.
I always think to myself, “What would I do if I didn’t have a father like him?” I think about it and then I say, “I would be in the cracks, not doing anything because there is no one here to keep me going and to keep me motivated.” My dad is an amazing cool person to me because he shows me that no matter what struggles he faces in his life or what happens to him, he always gets out of them and he has me and my mom to help him.