The Inverse Power of Praise

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The Inverse Power of Praise: Should We Praise Our Children?

Giving praise to our children comes naturally; most of us have done it hundreds of times without even thinking about it. The phrases: “you’re so smart” or, “wow you did a great job” just roll off our tongue. After all who doesn’t like to receive recognition for a job well done? But by praising children, are we setting them up for failure? Telling our kids they are smart does not keep them from underperforming, but instead might be causing it. B.F. Skinner’s work in operant conditioning showed us the process in which behavior can be manipulated (Wood, et al, 2008, p. 155), but Skinner didn’t take into account the long term effects of such manipulation. Are we conditioning children to seek dopamine in the form of praise, just as Pavlov taught a dog to salivate at the sound of a bell (Wood, et al, 2008, p. 146)?

We all have known someone who was too smart for their own good. This is the person whom as a child, received good grades, took honors courses in high school, and maybe even got a full ride scholarship to a college of their choice. They seemed to have it all going for them but did nothing with it. I had a friend in high school, (we’ll call her Samantha), who was just like this. Samantha was in honors classes, maintained a 4.0 grade point average despite never studying, played varsity sports and received a full ride scholarship to ASU. However, less than a year after graduating high school, she had a baby, dropped out of college and got a job cleaning houses with her boyfriend’s sister. So what happened to Samantha? How does someone who’s innately smart and seems destined for great things settle for so little? Is it bad decision making, poor impulse control or may...

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