I stand before you all today, with unanswered questions in my mind.
Why is it that we all need to feel appreciated?
Why is there always the debate of equality?
Why do some parents decide to grace their children with a younger sibling?
Siblings. An interesting topic, am I right? I mean, a vast majority has them, but how many actually have the darling relationship portrayed in the Brady Bunch? I dare say not many.
For so many years I’ve heard the argument of older siblings having it harder than their successors. Muttering and murmuring away in the background about the inequality that comes with being the older sibling. But hey, what about the younger ones? The people constantly being referred to as number two; that have to deal with the
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That’s right, I’m talking to the people that endured the high-maintenance drama-filled life with older siblings. Before you go away and get on your knees, groveling at your parent’s feet for a younger sibling, take these things into account.
I’m always hearing “My little sister has it easier than me; I was the guinea pig, I had to do everything before she did, she has it so easy”. No, no, no. This is all wrong. First of all, what about the labels they set in stone for us all while being a guinea pig? Every miniscule action they do throughout their awkward adolescent adventures will always come back to haunt us. Yeah, sure, they didn’t have someone to guide them, but the sympathy train should be going two ways. Aren’t siblings supposed to be role models?
Not convinced? Okay, imagine a young girl starting at a new school, nervous as hell, trying to fit in and make honorable first impressions. Seems simple enough right? Wrong. It’s going to be pretty damn hard when her sibling has already been there two years, and has taken the persona as the “phantom of their grade”. It’s a simple case of nobody ever sees them, and we start wishing that nobody could see
The comparison between siblings has become a universal problem over the past several decades, as implied in Peg Kehret’s elementary monologue, I’m NOT My Brother; I’m Me. Through Jonathan, Kehret expresses the valuable message to never judge people based on the characteristics of their siblings. As the oldest child in my family, I support Kehret’s message and additionally believe that every individual is different and hence, should not be judged or compared with their siblings, family members or friends.
Many can identify with what it means to be a sibling. Whether you are the oldest, youngest, or somewhere in between, you can most likely relate to the individual struggle within one. Being the oldest may carry the burden of responsibility and a sense of duty, and the youngest may feel a sense of entitlement. Whichever place one holds may depend on the person. Mai Lee Chai’s “Saving Sourdi” tells the story of two sisters who came to America with the hope of finding freedom. The two girls found anything but that. The younger sister Nea, takes the unusual role of the guardian, while the older sister Sourdi is atypically being cared for by Nea.
The achievers, the gamblers and visionaries, and the undefined, this is how Jeffery Kluger describes the oldest, youngest, and middle child in his article “The Power of Birth Order” (409). The birth order is a phenomenon, studied by many scientists, that has been impacting the way siblings think and act for years. The birth order classifies the oldest child, who is the achiever; the middle child, who is a hybrid of the oldest and youngest; and last but not least, the youngest child, who is the adventurer of the family. The fact that the birth order affects the personalities of siblings is becoming more and more evident and the classifications of the firstborn, middle child, and youngest child have been proved to be very accurate.
Some disadvantages to being the youngest can include the fact that they feel no one takes them seriously. They may often have feelings of insecurity and have long periods of self doubt. This is caused by one minute the child feels like the "baby of the family" and the next minute they are being compared to an older, more stronger sibling. In contrast, the youngest child often goes on to become quite successful. Some examples of famous youngest children include, Ronald Reagan, Eddie Murphy, Paul Newman, Mary Lou Retton, Billy Crystal, Yogi Bera, Ted Kennedy and Kevin Leman
Their conclusion is that family dynamics have a key role in creating the context where sibling
An adult sibling’s relationship may be the secret to happy, long life. Harwood, 2007 p. 105 emphasized it by saying that sibling’s relationship has the potential to be the most lifelong relationship of all. There is probably a biological explanation for this sibling bond. Siblings share some fundamental experiences which others do not. Siblings are age peers, grew up in same environment, of same parents, and extended family. They share the same cultural and religious heritage, and shared childhood experiences.
With the positives, come the negatives, some may consider “saviour siblings” as being a cruel process for the saviour child. The child may grow up feeling like they weren’t born for themselves, that they were unwanted or that they were only born for “spare parts” for their sibling.
In this brief authors Epstein, Griffin and Botvin, (2008), Maintains that young sibling play an important role in shaping their environment. During an individual’s early childhood, attitudes and behavior is developed. However, the author believes that older sibling plays an important role in creating family standards and structure throughout the lifespan (Epstein, Griffin, & Botvin, 2008).
Oldest children have been observed being hostile towards younger siblings because they are anxious, envious, or fearful they will be surpassed by their siblings (Morales, 1994). This might explain some of the sibling rivalry at a young age. Alder explained the effect this has on the oldest child: “this "dethronement" causes firstborns to try to imitate their parents, to identify more strongly with rules and authority, and too often become power-hungry conservatives” (Freese, 1999). The oldest child wants to be their parent’s favorite child and to do so they accept their parent’s ideas. The first-born wants to impress their parents by becoming miniature versions of
The oldest child owns strong leadership characteristics. When the oldest child gets younger siblings, they have the chance to become a leader (Renkl, 2). They take care and lead their siblings while the siblings look up to the oldest child. As a result, the oldest child develops leadership skills (Teague, 2). This trait can be beneficial or harmful. Leading their siblings can boost their self-esteem (Renkl, 2). Also, the oldest child likes to be in charge of projects, and they like it when people stick to rules and order (Pressner, Whitbourne, 1). They want to be in charge and in control of what is happening. The oldest child may want people to do something a certain way. When people do not listen, they get upset. They can be bossy and controlling because of their leadership skill (Anders, 2). This can give the oldest child trouble with making friends (Renkl, 2). Some oldest children may feel like everyone relies on them (Birth Order, 5). This attribute may seem bad as a child, but it will serve them well as an adult. The firstborn is most likely to take a leadership position. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush are...
Of course you are allowed more than than your younger siblings, but you also have to fight for things while your siblings just get them. You always have somebody to play with or tease but on the other hand, if your younger siblings do something they’re not allowed to do you still are most likely to be blamed. And while it’s really nice to have somebody to take care of most of the time it can get really annoying, especially when you have to help them with their homework.
In either situation, ultimately all brothers and sisters will go through the same process, but some might say that the eldest sibling has it the hardest because they must set a good example for their younger siblings. Eldest siblings must also go through the process first, the trial child otherwise known. Responsibilities and all, it turns out that several studies have shown that the eldest sibling is the smartest, having a three point IQ advantage over the next sibling and so on. According to Lee Lofland, this may be a result of older siblings teaching and reinforcing knowledge and passing it down to younger siblings. It could also be that older siblings were given undivided attention from parents before you came along.
Therefore, a child that has siblings is not as bossy as the only child. Children that have brothers or sisters know that not everything can be done at that second. There are two other children in my house besides me, and my mom can not do everything at once. I am not bossy towards my brother and sister because I do not like having people boss me around. I am considerate of my family’s feelings. If I need my work uniform clean, then I have to let my mom know well in advance so she has time to wash it. I appreciate my mom doing my laundry. When my mom doesn’t have time to wash my clothes I put in the extra effort to help her out.
Many people grow up with a sibling, in fact eighty percent of people in the United States and Europe grow up with a brother or sister (Dunn 1). Most people can agree with the statement that growing up with siblings has impacted their development and personality. This topic has been researched by psychologist and sociologist for decades; which has provided both positive and negative outcomes of growing up with siblings. Children can benefit from growing up with siblings because they can learn from their siblings, gain social skills, and their siblings may become a valuable asset in one’s life.
Growing up with two older brothers taught me to be unselfish, patient, and respectful. Being the youngest of three, I learned I would not always get what I wanted. I would have to be patient and wait my turn for a lot of things, such as the telephone and bathroom. I was glad that I was able to grow up with siblings to teach me these lifelong lessons. All three of us had to be respectful of each other or we would risk getting in trouble with my parents.