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The importance of communication skills
Importance of communication skills
The importance of communication skills
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Criticism could be either use in a positive way to improve or a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress anger or even aggression. When I was growing up I had to deal with criticism through school. People would say I was tall and skinny or my hair wasn’t real. My legs were so long that it was so hard to buy me any pants, once I made it to middle school. As a child my mother didn’t believe in adding chemicals to our hair, so I grew up with very natural and thick hair. Some people would ask me “Is that all you hair?” “Is that weave?” or some people would just run their fingers through my hair. I hated this criticism so bad that I would only want to wear my hair in a ponytail with a ball. I would beg and plead my mom to just let me cut my hair because I was sick of the …show more content…
What are the key issues? Why is he/she reacting this way? Sometimes, the person giving the feedback may not be aware of the real areas of concern. Ultimately, I see negative feedback as positive, because it shows there are people who want what you have. Negative feedback also tells us our opportunities for growth. No matter where we are in life, all of us will have blind spots we don’t know about. These blind spots prevent us from reaching the next stage of growth. While negative feedback may not be pleasant to receive, they give us a different perspective to consider. By learning from more different perspectives, we can grow much faster. If I look back, negative criticism has made me a stronger and better person. Despite the potential value of constructive criticism, many people don’t use this tool properly.” Sybil Keane, PhD, a psychology and relationship expert for the Web site Just Answer. Often, that’s because they are unsure of how to give constructive criticism without hurting a person feelings.” You should always listen respectfully when a person is trying to tell you something negative, it is easy to get upset and focus only on the critical aspects of the
It could also be a parent at home criticizing you about a grade to do better in school. When a coach would say something to me that would sting, it would motivate me to do better. I would notice when the coach would say the same thing to a team mate they would get upset and cry. I never understood why they would not just better themselves, instead of pouting over a simple criticism. This is because of differential sensitivity. Differential sensitivity is “the idea that some people are more vulnerable than others to particular experiences” (Berger, 2010, p.21). I was able to take this criticism from the coach because I was used to having someone at home, criticizing my weaknesses, so that I could better myself. When someone criticizes me, I do not take it to heart because I work harder on that subject to show them that I can do better. The other team mate was more sensitive in the situation and took it to heart. This may have been because the team mate was going through a sensitivity period. Some small comments to children can still affect them later in life, but some may forget about it an hour later. Differential sensitivity is used to, “aid prediction and thus target intervention” (Berger, 2010,
Americans have embraced debate since before we were a country. The idea that we would provide reasoned support for any position that we took is what made us different from the English king. Our love of debate came from the old country, and embedded itself in our culture as a defining value. Thus, it should not come as a surprise that the affinity for debate is still strong, and finds itself as a regular feature of the mainstream media. However, if Deborah Tannen of the New York Times is correct, our understanding of what it means to argue may be very different from what it once was; a “culture of critique” has developed within our media, and it relies on the exclusive opposition of two conflicting positions (Tannen). In her 1994 editorial, titled “The Triumph of the Yell”, Tannen claims that journalists, politicians and academics treat public discourse as an argument. Furthermore, she attempts to persuade her readers that this posturing of argument as a conflict leads to a battle, not a debate, and that we would be able to communicate the truth if this culture were not interfering. This paper will discuss the rhetorical strategies that Tannen utilizes, outline the support given in her editorial, and why her argument is less convincing than it should be.
Stosny states that “criticism fails because it embodies two of the things that human beings hate the most: it calls for submission, and we hate to submit and it devalues, and we hate to feel devalued” (Stosny). Furthermore, he argues that criticism is used as a form of “ego defense” when we feel devaluated by behavior or attitude as opposed to disagreeing with their behavior or attitude (Stosny). Tony Schwartz, author of the article “There’s No Such Thing as Constructive Criticism” for HarvardBusinessReview.com, says that criticism “challenges our sense of value” and “implies judgement and we all recoil feeling judged” (Schwartz). Schwartz reiterates the point that constructive criticism is a useful tool that isn’t working or doesn’t exist simply because people don’t know how to properly give or receive constructive criticism. To prove this, he lists three reasons why we assume constructive criticism doesn’t work while in reality it actually does. “The first mistake we often make is giving feedback when we are feeling that our own value is at risk. That’s a recipe for disaster, and it happens far more commonly than we think, or are aware” (Schwartz). To summarize this reason he listed, Schwartz states that when we feel like we’re being
When many people write, including myself, they get attached to their writing. Although writing can be a personal thing, I’ve learned that it is important to step away from your paper, and take the feedback on an objective level. The first time I got feedback, I had an overwhelming urge to defend myself. I remember reading that my introduction wasn’t complete, and that my evidence wasn’t properly introduced. I wanted to walk up to those who critiqued my paper, and spit right in their faces. ‘How dare they say bad things about my paper?’ I thought to myself. From here, I went back into my essay, and looked at what they had told me were errors. It was then that I realized that they were right. My introduction needed more background information, and my evidence should have had more of an introduction. They weren’t trying to be mean; they were just helping me receive a better grade, by looking at my essay through an objective view. Now, I go out of my way to ask people for feedback, and tell them to be honest. I want my paper to be the very best it can be, so it isn 't helpful when people hold back. I now understand that those giving feedback aren’t insulting me, or the paper; they are just suggesting ways to improve, or enhance my ideas. Giving and receiving feedback is a hard, yet important skill to learn, and hope to continue improving in this
Her research has shown that daughters describe a mother’s criticism as “ a magnifying glass held between the sun rays … concentration the rays of imperfection” (971). But for a mother a criticism is just a way to help her daughter improve. As sighted by Deborah “ Mothers subject their daughters to a level of scrutiny people usually reserve for themselves.” Meaning a mother will be a tough critic not because their daughter does not please them, but because a mother only wants what is best for their daughter.
Although, I find it easy to be self-critical and I am always trying to do better, but I know I’m not perfect and have lots of room for improvement. However, I find getting critique from others more challenging and the feeling of everything I do is being watched and graded by someone is nerve-racking and it can be hard to hear what others have to say about your performance. It’s hard to hear it even though I do want to get that critique, or criticism, so I can improve and become more successful at teaching and help reach out to more
In Feedback as a gift, Friedrich discusses his points on how feedback should be viewed. The author describes feedback as a gift and if we view it that way it would change our mindsets when receiving it. On another note the article by Stone and Heen, Difficult conversations 2.0: Thanks for the feedback, the main focus is on the benefits we receive from accepting feedback and becoming a skillful receiver. The author also discusses why we as humans reject feedback calling these reactions triggers. In Max Performance Feedback, Sadri and Seto discuss the three different types of feedback. Each articles content is crucial to one’s professional development.
There is criticism occurring in our everyday life, and sometimes we are the ones doing it unconsciously. One good example of something being constantly criticized would be films. The public always seems to seek out criticism of film to see if they are going to get their money’s worth. The videos “Honest Trailers- Frozen” and “Honest Trailers- 300” are based on criticism towards both the film and the director.
... to everyone else's idea about you. Pretty soon, it affects your life in a much larger way than anyone intended it to. Although at times we do it unintentionally, it does not change the fact that an individual can be hurt by a simple word. The author Jane Porter once wrote, "I never yet heard man or woman much abused that I was not inclined to think the better of them, and to transfer the suspicion or dislike to the one who found pleasure in pointing out the defects of another."
Criticism is something that we all deal with daily and many of us believe that when we give criticism we are expertly doing so but as we receive criticism we tend to believe the other person is degrading us personally. Since criticism is mainly to judge merits and faults of a person or their actions, it is natural for us to feel defensive as we act the way we do based on the knowledge we have and we feel that the criticism questions our knowledge. Many of us may see criticism as such and act defensively towards it but according to an article called Giving and Receiving Criticism the author Sue Hadfield states, “Constructive criticism, however, can be helpful and lead to better working relations.” (Hadfield, 2013) With this in mind we can process that criticism can be used to give feedback to better ones position or knowledge in that which is being criticized. But how do we give criticism while staying in the favor of the criticized and when receiving criticism how do we differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism? Continuing in the article the author presents certain...
In this chapter, I learned new ways to give and to accept feedback. Personally, I like getting feedback. I like it because it allows me to improve on my work. For example, whenever I write essays I like to have another person look at it so they can catch any small, or even big, mistakes that I may have done. This chapter also taught me that too much negative feedback can really take a toll on a person negatively. When you give somebody too much negative feedback, that person can start to think that they’re doing everything completely wrong and can really be detrimental to their self-esteem. To give good feedback, you should give the person more positive feedback than negative. You should use constructive rather than destructive feedback. Constructive feedback is more information specific and issue specific based on observations without using judgement. Destructive feedback is full of judgement and isn’t helping the person learn. When you get the feedback, it is best to reframe it and then reconstruct it to your advantage. Getting feedback is always a good tool to get but not when it only contains
Some people are willing to accept feedback and seek it out, even if it is sometimes disturbing, because they believe they can grow from it. It comes down to whether you believe feedback will harm you or benefit you.
In this world today, things are so much different than 20 years ago or even 10 years ago. Judgments have become so much harsher. Today you can read people 's ways. For example, if you walk by someone and they stare you down and scrunch up their face, they have something negative about you. However, if you walk past someone and they smile and wink or continue looking at you they are thinking something platitude about you. But, because the world has changed so much in the last few years, how do we deal with negative and positive comments?
Personal Development is a lifelong process that involves the assessment of current skills and talents and the enhancement of oneself based on that assessment which then leads to the realization of goals and an improved quality of life. To be able to assess yourself, you need to be able to reflect on your past which helps you to understand the attitudes you have developed and the foundation that you will be building your life on. Also, you have to reflect on your present to see if there’s room for improvement and reflect on your future so that you can achieve your aspirations.