Universal Grief

A Study of Universal Grief in “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

Modern psychology describes five stages of grief that people go through when confronted with tragic circumstances. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This system was devised by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler in their collaborations on death, dying and grieving. The fact that these stages are experienced by so many shows that grief is a universal process. The term universal means that people anywhere in the world and at any time in history share the same feelings and psychological experiences. Though people experience loss in unique ways, they experience the grieving process in the same way, and the five stages are a universal process in coping with the loss. Oskar Schell, the nine year old protagonist of Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is the central figure in an exploration of the stages of grief. After Oskar’s father Thomas is killed in the World Trade Centre attacks on September 11th, 2001, the boy goes on a transformative journey through New York City, searching for clues to a lock, as well as searching for a way to make a better world reborn out of horror. Certain parts of the novel’s plot, as well as certain characters, are representative of the five stages of grief, and we will see that Oskar makes the necessary and universal trip through the grieving process and comes out at the end a more understanding and healing person.
Denial and anger are the first two stages of the grieving process. Denial is the step in the process that delays the emotions that accompany grief. Denial is first shown by the way Oskar and his mother, when his father Thomas does not return home...

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...process of grieving is painful and has no set time limit. For some it can take a short time, for others a lifetime, but the stages are undeniable. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are natural steps in coming to terms with tragedy. The process is universal, meaning that people in all walks of life go through the same process. Several characters in “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” are shown as being in various stages of the process, but all are journeying toward the final stage of acceptance. Oskar Schell goes through the entire process during the course of the story, and though the scars from the tragic death of a parent may never fully heal, the grieving process, in its logical progression, is also a healing process. Oskar accepts that his father is gone forever, but the memory lives on, and the boy can begin to rebuild his shattered life.