Throughout millenniums, people have tried to figure out the causation for human behaviors. Michael Kimmel and Dave Barry have written pieces focusing on this subject, particularly about men. In the excerpt “‘Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” from Michael Kimmel’s book Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, he wrote that men act they way they do due to other men’s judgements. In the introduction “Guys vs. Men” from Dave Barry’s humor book Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys, he wrote that guys act they way they do because of strong internal drives and lack of deep thought. Although both Kimmel and Barry have similar views on the actions of men, they have different approaches to the reasoning behind their actions: Kimmel believes they are caused by fear of breaking societal norms, and Barry believes they are caused by guys’ internal drives. Both Kimmel and Barry listed set characteristics or rules of being a guy. Kimmel listed a set of rules that he called “Real Guy’s Top Ten List”. His list can …show more content…
Due to the negative societal feelings towards effeminate men, guys who break the rules of masculinity are socially punished. Kimmel interviewed a first-year college student who said that breaking these masculine gender roles would cause him to “lose everything.” Kimmel continues with a list of answers varying from getting physically attacked to ostracized to self-harm. Therefore, Kimmel characterized “The Guy Code” as very negative and hurtful. Barry wrote more about the negative effects of acting like a guy, rather than the effects of the rules of being a guy like Kimmel did. In Barry’s anecdotes, he was left with an unnecessary and expensive computer and a hamstring injury. He also said that guys’ lack of “rigid and well-defined moral code” caused them to cheat on their partners, therefore causing a lot of emotional pain. Kimmel and Barry pointed out several effects on women as
In the essay, “The High Cost of Manliness,” writer Robert Jensen discusses the harmful effects of having male specific characteristics, such as masculinity. Jensen realizes that men’s actions and ways of living are judged based upon the characteristic of being manly. He argues that there is no valid reason to have characteristics associated with being male. Society has created the notion that masculinity is the characteristic that defines males as males.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
Have you ever wonder what is different between guy and man? If yes, you should read the article “Guy vs. Men” of Dave Barry. In this article, Barry mention several trails that could help you determine whether a person is a guy or a man. After reading this article, I do not agree with Barry about how he determine a guy or a man. For example, we could not determine the male characters in the novel “The Great Gatsby” are a guy or a man just because of how they act in a specific situation because there will always have other time that they will act differently. As same as a real life person, when a person act like a guy in a specific situation does not mean that they will also act like a guy in all other situation. In my opinion, Tom, Gatsby,
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
For centuries, the ideal masculinity has been seen as the provider, the macho man, the cowboy and the emotional rock, but new representations of manliness in the media have been challenging this idea (Watson 2015, p. 270). Within these new depictions, there lies a hierarchy where one form of masculinity is more accepted than the rest (Kluch 2015). Macho masculinity has been seen as being dominant in the hierarchy for generations, however, in recent years, there have been an influx of new representations of masculinity that disrupt traditional hierarchal ideas. The masculinity of the twenty first century includes emotions, sensitivity, discipline, and intelligence. These new aspects of the hierarchy have been introduced by movies such as Brokeback Mountain, 22 Jump Street, The
This doesn’t occur just in their relationships, but in every facet of life. Men are constantly in a struggle for power and control whether it is at work, home, during sports, or in a relationship, this remains true. So the only way for them to get this power is for them to be “men”; tough, strong, masculine, ones that demand and take power. Where does this thirst for control come from? Is it the natural structure of a man, or is it a social construct?
... E Glenn, and Nancy B Sherrod. The psychology of men and masculinity:Research status and future directions. New York: John Wiley and sons, 2001.
This also leads into the fact that people interpret male violence and aggression as natural. They’ll pin it as something hardwired from ‘the hunter-gatherer days’. Often times they’ll also blame it on media violence, such as graphic video games, movies and TV shows. This is something much broader than that.
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
Society has taught its people that men are supposed to have certain and different characteristics than women and vice versa. What is difficult to understand is why society split the uncomplicated human characteristics in to two categories. Jensen brings up two important questions in this text pertaining to the separation of characteristics, “What makes these distinctly masculine characteristics? Are they not simply human characteristics?” These questions are really important to discuss because whether an individual is male or female they are still a human and all humans have access to the same set of characteristics. Males and females can express masculinity and they can both express emotions because they are each human. Jensen’s main point about characteristics is that any characteristic can apply to males or females because characteristics are not sex based, they are human
In the views of Micheal Kimmel “hegemonic masculinity” is a socially constructed process where men are pressured by social norms of masculine ideals to perform behaviors of a “true man” and its influence on young male’s growth. It is the ideology that being a man with power and expressing control over women is a dominant factor of being a biological male. The structure of masculinity was developed within the 18th to 19th century, as men who owned property and provided for his family with strength related work environments was the perfect example of being a generic “American man.” Kimmel introduces Marketplace Manhood and its relation to American men. He states, “Marketplace Masculinity describes the normative definition of American masculinity.
...cks’ discussed above do portray masculinity as a troubled, anxious cultural category as they hide behind a humorous façade through their unglamorous jobs, male bonding, homophobic comments and insults, and the pressure to change and become a ‘real man’ in order to live up to their successful female interests.
Imagine that you are hurt, whether it is physically, emotionally, or even mentally but you cannot express these emotions. You cannot show one bit of the pain that you are experiencing. The only thing you can do is hide behind a huge dark mask that consumes you and who you really are just so you have the ability to conform to the rest of your peers and society. What makes it even worse is that it must be done for the majority of the days you live. The reality is this exists today in the world we live in. Men every day are forced to conform to the rules of the guy code in order to live without the criticism of society. In the article “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” by sociologist and spokesperson for the National Organization for Men Against
We may be personally responsible for our own misconceptions of gender and masculinity. Our actions about these topics speak louder than words. Sociologist, Ann Oakley argues that parents often mold their children around certain behaviors, with positive and negative consequences, to adhere to the standards that are socially acceptable. Oddly there is a strong back lash to this sort of treatment in females. In a study done conducted by Michael Messner, when asked who was a tomboy and who was a sissy as children, women raised their hands more often to identify with the tomboy image. The tomboy trait celebrates masculinity and restricts femininity. Often children explore many traits about themselves, as Allen explained to Pascoe, “When you’re younger…you’re a kid. You are wide open…You just do what you want” (Pascoe 118). Darnell, a football player, stated “Since you were little boys you’ve been told, ‘hey don’t be a little faggot’” (p 55). Darnell showcasing that males are conditioned very early like females about their roles of masculinity. These children are taught about how masculinity works. In the school Pascoe researched, a faculty member, Mr. Ford, reminded males students through his reply to a backhanded comment made to him from another student that men should engage in sexual actives with women, not men. Another...
What we do know from each of these statements is that masculinity is a quality or a behavior, what is left up for discussion is if these qualities or behaviors are biologically driven or historically driven. In my opinion there is no right answer to this because it is a belief and we are all entitled to them, right or wrong. What we can do is educate ourselves on both sides of the matter and form our own opinion on the matter with our findings. Take for example essentialism, what does that mean in conjunction with masculinity? This is the way of looking at masculinity as something that is inborn within us, something that would be difficult to alter with just simple interactions. This is something that has been ingrained within this person biologically and is a part of the individual not necessarily by choice but by genetics or nature. Then you have the view of masculinity through the social constructionism, this view based on masculinity through social views and settings. The view that masculinity is something that is every changing throughout an individuals life and that each interaction, both with one’s self or those around them, helps shape this view of