Imagine that you are hurt, whether it is physically, emotionally, or even mentally but you cannot express these emotions. You cannot show one bit of the pain that you are experiencing. The only thing you can do is hide behind a huge dark mask that consumes you and who you really are just so you have the ability to conform to the rest of your peers and society. What makes it even worse is that it must be done for the majority of the days you live. The reality is this exists today in the world we live in. Men every day are forced to conform to the rules of the guy code in order to live without the criticism of society. In the article “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” by sociologist and spokesperson for the National Organization for Men Against …show more content…
This is considered to be the first of the four basic rules of the “guy code”. According to Kimmel this means, “Being a man means not being a sissy, not being perceived as weak, effeminate, or gay. Masculinity is the relentless repudiation of the feminine”(541). The impact that this has on men is extremely negative in many different ways. A negative effect of not being a “sissy” and suppressing your emotions at all times is building up aggression within. A University of Texas professor named Art Markman helped conduct a study on what happens when suppressing emotions. Markman states “ People may become more aggressive after having a long period of time in which they’ve had to control themselves” (www.youtube.com). It has been shown that by suppressing your emotions you are vulnerable to snapping and unleashing plenty of aggression. I personally would agree the rule “No Sissy Stuff” exists and males definitely enforce and police it upon each other. This is something that begins at young age, young boys for example would make fun of another boy because he fell and began to cry, they might even laugh and call him a cry baby. The importance on why males should not follow this rule is that by continuing to hide behind this mask of being strong you are mentally damaging yourself. Building up your emotions and not releasing them leads to plenty of negative side effects that can be easily avoided by just showing how you feel. Suppressing emotions can also hold …show more content…
So what exactly is being a “big wheel”? According to the text “ This rule refers to the centrality of success and power in the definition of masculinity. Masculinity is measured more by wealth, power, and status than by any particular body part”(541). Basically, Kimmel is saying that being a man is about being at the top and being better than other men by competing for the wealth, power and status. The way that it is being enforced and has been enforced for decades is being a young boy and learning what is expected of you when you become a man. We can take a look at how this happens every day in society, according to Dr. Phillip McGraw better know as Dr. Phil in order to be successful in your marriage and family you must be a “provider”, “protector”, “leader”, and “teacher”(www.drphil.com). After looking at these four traits we can see how they relate to masculinity. By being a provider we must provide financially which relates back to wealth, which is also a measurement of masculinity, but we must also provide by in other ways such as emotionally and mentally. Being a protector is the ability to protect and keep your family safe from threats, which can relate to having power. A leader is giving 100 percent to your family and marriage by taking initiative as to what needs to be done. A teacher is just being a role model and setting the right example and this goes hand in hand with being a leader, which would be your status in the family. What is wrong
Zeilinger believes that not only women suffer from oppressive gender roles. Men often suffer just as much if not more. She seeks to expose the issues men face in todays society. Guys do have emotions, and when they come, they must face a big dilemma. They can either disconnect from their human emotions or live in a “state of contradiction” against their “manliness.” The traits that traditionally come with being a man are harmful to society. They are expected to be “cunning and take power and control instead of sharing it.” Men must be willing to point out weaker men in order to be above them. Zeilinger points out the adverse effect this mainstream mentality has. Guys are afraid to stray from the strict rules of manliness. If men go against the common standards they risk losing their identity as men. Those who choose to not follow these social norms are seen as a threat by those who are clinging to them. Gay men, for example often choose to stray from these norms. Zeilinger brings up a story of a friend who is gay and must overcome “male and female stigmas”. He often feels displaced as he does not fit in the realm of male or female roles. Zeilinger ends her article calling for change among both men and women in order to create a healthier
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
2. Language is a powerful tool when it comes to maintaining the Guy Code. It is how men teach each other what it means to be a man. This is evident in the list of ten phrases considered defining traits of being a man. Kimmel says that “all these aphorisms involve never showing emotions or admitting weakness.” If a man is able to measure up to all of these traits, then his manhood is safe and others will see that.
Social forces tell the American male hat he live in a way that rejects everything seen as feminine. As outlined in In Social Inequality: Forms, Causes, and Consequences, Hurst asserts that media often portrays American women as emotional and affectionate (Hurst, p. 126-127). Thus, men who show emotion and affection often receive both physical and verbal attacks from other men due to not rejecting these feminine actions. These conceptions of masculinity damage American males because they repress emotion and simultaneously bolster aggression. The Representation Project is combating this damaging narrative by calling on society to change the overarching stereotypes. In their documentary The Mask You Live In, the Representation Project shows American males engaging in conversations about emotions and harmful masculinity in order to peel away the dangerous mask that harms all persons. Overall, The Representation Project strives to “re-humanize” men by drawing society away from the current
and their daily lives. This presentation of masculinity can alter how men respect women in the
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
As a society, we oppress people by their social class, education, gender, race, ethnicity, and the culture. We have created men who think they are not allowed to show their feeling if they
They do this by proving they are not weak or feminine. In fact, according to Michael Kimmel in “Men, Masculinity, and the Rape Culture”, the worst thing one can call a man is a word that is feminist based. This is why it is so important to men that they show domination and strength. But what is unknown is that biologically, men and women are very similar. In The Mask You Live In, Neuroscientist Lisa Eliot describes, “Throughout history there’s been this belief that men and women are fundamentally different creatures… Sex is a biological term. It refers to which chromosomes you have… Gender is a social construct.” Men are so afraid to be feminine yet there is little difference biologically between men and women. Masculinity and femininity are socially defined. Therefore, men and women should be able to act the same without being judged. Moreover, men do not show their true selves because of the risk of other men judging them. Dr. Caroline Heldman explains in the documentary that, “There’s a whole social system the polices them through this low level threat from other men if they’re not manly enough.” Similarly, as Michael Kimmel writes in “Men, Masculinity, and the Rape Culture”, men in groups are the most dangerous because they feel they need to prove themselves to each other. Rather than constantly proving their manliness, men need to be themselves in order to attain
Men are allegedly competitive, aggressive, dominant, and strong and if these attributes are not acquired a man is not a man. When other men recognize a man failing in those four areas of “manliness” they compare him to a female with negative connotation as expressed in the following quote, “The worst insult one man can hurl at another-whether its boys on the playground or CEOs in the boardroom-is the accusation that a man is like a woman.” These actions create perceptions that women are unworthy and pitiful. Jensen mentions that because of masculinity men are thought to seek control over women resulting in an increase of physical violence towards women. However, masculinity has harsh effects on men as well. Men are constantly trying to prove their dominance to each other, while competing against one another for ultimate dominance. This creates a never ending cycle of competition and unease for
From the beginning of the human race the gender roles of man and woman appeared to be straightforward. Women, being able to procreate, were sought to as nurturers, while men were to protect and provide for their family. Throughout all cultures, practices and beliefs of individuals toward masculinity significantly vary. Masculinity or manliness associates with characteristics such as strength, bravery, handsomeness, and physique in a male. With the ongoing changes in human history, the term masculinity has greatly evolved. Our western views’ paint a clear image of how children should be raised according to their gender role, which leads to more and more of them falling victim to the stigma of societal pressures and stereotypes. For example,
The things that make a man “manly” have changed greatly in the past couple of decades. The show Two and a Half Men represents this perfectly by showing the alternative portrayals of modern masculinity. They performances of hegemonic sub ordinance masculinity on Two and a Half Men reconstruct and reinforce the dominance of hegemonic masculinity within our society as the only acceptable performance of manhood. It has been said that for men the breadwinner ethic is the only acceptable state for an adult male do be in, and failure of this makes you not “fully male”. This statement is inferring that if you are a stay at home father or not the one with the highest paycheck you have ultimately failed at being a male, which is completely unacceptable. To continue, feminized masculinity is known as a “soft man”, and shows traits that are not usually tied to masculinity such as housework and emotional literacy. When males show traits such as these they are typically assimilated to a gay identity. Most heterosexual males do not want to be seen as a feminine, gay identity so they stay clear of anything that would infer that, further implementing these ideals of masculine traits and roles. This is shown in Two and a Half Men when Alan has more “feminine” traits like showing emotion by mourning his divorce, and doing the housework. Alan’s representation of
The Bro Code breaks down the establishment and encouragement of sexism into four “steps” that society uses to form sexist men (Keith). These steps are: “1. Train Men to Womanize, 2. Immerse Men in Porn, 3. Make Rape Jokes 4. Obey the Masculinity Cops”(Keith). Thomas Keith begins by addressing the fact that he grew up in this “bro culture” and that men today are continually taught to have the same mentality that Keith had when he was younger. However, he claims that “bro culture” has changed and has become a more “dangerous sexist” (Keith). Our culture continually promotes this behavior through music, television and media, all which tell men that in order to be successful and true men they must be rich, strong and surrounded by women.
Male’s naturally become responsible in keeping their peers in check with the strict expectations of masculinity. This is achieved when using such terms like “mama’s boy”, “bitch”, or “faggot”, against a male who acts in a way that is seen to be “un-masculine”. Therefore, it becomes clear that a brutal cycle does exist. Men are consumed with what a “real” man is. They truly believe this criteria is correct and feel that they have to live by it in order to be manly. This type of masculinity, which violence has a prominent role in, becomes expected of them by their peers. When a male fails to produce this behaviour it often results in him being seen as someone who is missing the necessary traits in order to be masculine. Male’s will be harassed and abused by their peers for this presumed deficiency. Thus, male’s act as though they are a regulatory authority or a gender police towards their peers to be able to keep them in check with what society demands of the male gender. Masculinity in society is structured in a way which advocates violence as a way of coping with certain situations and individuals, which ultimately leads to violence against women. The peer’s of a male makes sure that he will contribute to his masculinity by confirming the accuracy of it, and administering not another socially sanctioned way of presenting the male
and Dr. Whitehead, male behaviors and masculinity are not just a simple product of biological predispositions or genetic coding. All societies around the world have the cultural concept of gender, but some of them do not have the idea masculinity. The modern usage of masculinity usually describes the behaviors that result from the type of person someone is. This means that one who is un-masculine would behave differently. For example, “being peaceable rather than violent, conciliatory rather than dominant, hardly able to kick a football, uninterested in sexual conquest, and so forth” (42). The presented concept of masculinity presumes that one has to believe in individual difference and personal agency. So, it is based on the concept of individuality