Shame Red Flags

The behaviors I identify as shame red flags at work include, avoidance/isolation, extreme shyness, anger, and procrastination, which can all culminate into disengagement. I believe that shame at work can cause others to avoid situations and people as a way of avoiding potential criticism. Even avoiding casual situations at work, such as attending a retirement party or a co-worker’s birthday party because of shameful feelings. Those who experience shame may resort to isolating themselves as a form of protection.

Extreme shyness is a behavior that I would identify as a red flag. Not to say someone who is very shy feels shame, but instant or growing shyness could be a warning sign. Because of past experiences associated with shame, someone

This is my opinion, coming from how I feel I would react to shame, and that would be with anger and acting defensively. I do not want to be perceived as weak or that someone can have that much of an impact on me, and because of that, my defense mechanisms would be on high alert… looking for threats at all times and internally questioning everyone’s motives.

I identify shame in the form of procrastination as a potential red flag due to the fact that others want to delay judgment of their work or ideas. Due to fear of judgment and being shamed, some might either delay work intentionally or become compulsive and seek perfection, thus delaying.

All of these behaviors in my opinion, can culminate into disengagement. Once disengagement sets in, all behaviors are possible, including a slew of other unsavory actions like theft, dishonesty, decreased productivity, decreased team morale, increased employee turnover, and the potential to impact customer service

No one wants to have a team where shame is present and is used as a management tool because it looks bad and can cause the leader to seem ineffective. So, leaders must be able to step aside and take an honest approach to facilitating a conscientious effort to see where shame might be functioning in the organization.

The final struggle I think will be common is that leaders may be reluctant to be vulnerable out of fear of loosing their edge with their employees. Leaders must learn to cultivate meaningful relationships with their employees by showing their authentic selves. We are all human and make mistakes, and if leaders can show that to their team and let them know its ok to make mistakes and learn, then a shame-resilient culture can grow.

The most common way I have witnessed other people dealing with them is avoidance. I believe the thought is, if we act like it’s nothing, then it will be nothing. Which is setting up a terrible situation that will be even harder to undue and overcome. I believe this goes back to my point above that leaders must be able and willing to have the hard conversations with employees and other supervisors in the