Relational-Cultural Theory Of Friendship

Numerous definitions of friendship have been offered in the literature. In summarizing various definitions, Fehr (1996) noted that there is general agreement that friendship can be defined as a “voluntary, personal relationship, typically providing intimacy and assistance, in which the two parties like one another and seek each other's company” (p. 7). Miller (1988) described healthy relationships as resulting in both friends experiencing increased energy, empowerment, self-knowledge, other-knowledge, self-worth, and desire for more connection. Attributes such as trust, mutuality, and self-disclosure also have been cited in the literature as important contributors to friendship (Fehr, 1996).

Much of the literature has focused on identifying

The theory conceptualizes differentiation and maturity of the “felt sense of self” (Jordan, 1997, p. 15) as continually evolving through meaningful connections with others (Miller & Stiver, 1997). This conceptualization is in contrast to traditional models, which emphasize separation–individuation and autonomy as the goals of development (e.g., Erikson, 1968). Instead, relational–cultural theory asserts that the developing sense of self unfolds through authentic and intimate connections, and vice

In particular, relational skill and a sense of responsibility for nurturing relationships are qualities simultaneously reinforced and devalued in women (Miller, 1991), placing women in the position of functioning as relational caretakers but with little recognition of the importance of this role (Gilligan, 1982; Miller, 1986). In contrast, men are often shaped to develop their identity and self-esteem through a process of competition or comparison with other men at the expense of relational development (Bergman, 1995). Consequently, men may learn to sacrifice relational skill development to feel unique and autonomous (Bergman, 1995), whereas women may learn to sacrifice authenticity to maintain relationships (Brown & Gilligan, 1992; Miller, 1991). As emphasized by both Bergman (1995) and Miller (1991), this process of relational socialization does not occur in isolation; it is clear that friendship processes are reinforced by overarching sociocultural norms and