Personal Narrative-Induced Hangover

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I was awoken by running water, I didn't remember going to bed or even how I ended up in this deluxe suite. As my vision cleared I could see, Lori, snoring atop his catch from shark week, who was actually not as ugly as she looked in the club, she was uglier, and fatter. Strangely enough there were three pairs of shoes, only one of which belonged to me. I had a pounding head ache and I needed to use the bathroom. Moving was a great chore as I was apparently in the throes of an alcohol and cocaine induced hangover.

Pushing my way into the bathroom, I see the body of a very tall girl slumped on the floor. Breathing but definately passed out. Femora was in the shower. "Oh hai, I had a good time watching you fuck the shit out of that tranny". …show more content…

Don't worry, it's good video too, since I don't do coke. Not that you guys wouldn't be stingy if I did. And I stopped drinking after we left the first club. I had to DD, so you guys wouldn't kill us." I just said thanks. It was hard to hear, see, think, stand or do anything right now. "So what do you think of that girl I picked up? She's tall as shit isn't she?" I was thinking, "Now I see why all your exes are gay. They don't even have to BE the man". Then Femora said something I couldn't …show more content…

Femora walked back into the room and did what I could only assume was powering down, to which she was in street clothes now. "Hey guys, I suggest we get out of here, before they think we did this". Everyone got dressed and we headed down to the lobby, which also had a big hole in the wall, and a fresher looking hole in the door. I could hear Femora say under her breath "That fucking Gator was always like that" I whisper "Did you guys used to date" To which she snapped "Why did he look like a faggot?"

Lori asked what happened, as we checked out, the concierge was too shaken by the turn of events to answer, he just said "thank you, we're terribly sorry about the condition of our lobby, but please come again". And we walked to the car. Femora looked at me and began to talk, but before she could say anything I told her I believed her and was sorry I ever doubted her. She added "And what else"?

"I dunno"

She said "How bout, Thanks for saving my asshole for my bofyriend,

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