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Online dating negative changes in society and relationships
Technology affecting online dating essay
Online dating negative changes in society and relationships
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Fifteen percent of Americans have used an online dating site at some point in their lives (Smith). According to the Oxford Dictionary, online dating is “[the practice of search for a romantic or sexual partner on the internet, typically via a dedicated website].” (Oxford). For years, the one thing people continually express that they search for in life is someone to love or to be loved. Having money, a big house, and a fancy car are exciting but having someone to share them with is life changing. In our culture we want to find love and as technology continues to advance, more and more people are turning to online dating as a way to do this. It becomes increasingly important to understand the online dating world and why people are turning to it. Throughout this paper, I will explain the history of online dating, the stigma surrounding it, and how technology is changing the dating world today.
Match making has been around since the beginning of time but throughout the years a great deal has changed. Back in 1695, the first dating service was broadcasted to mass audience (Lee). An ad was published in Britain calling for young men to come and the company would help them find a wife (Lee). The original use for the dating services has changed from just finding that special
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Since so many people are online it allowed him to be able to make his search for the right women rather specific (Fry 23). A big advantage of online dating is that it allows you to pick out people whose interest match yours prior to meeting them in person (Fry 38). According to eHarmony, a leading online dating site, “Online dating statistics show that 20% of those in current, committed relationships began online and 7% of marriages in 2015 were between couples that met on a dating website” (Thottam). Overall this shows that it is more than just an idea. Love actually can be found by using these online
Online dating has become so popular through the years. It has been a stepping stone for people of all ages in different ways. Most young people use social networking, and most people of older descent uses dating websites like eHarmony where you have to pay to meet that perfect match. Nev, Ernie, and Shauntel were all victims of online dating and as you can see most result came out positive and other times it came out negative. Ernie has was one who seen his cup both half full and half empty. The show Catfish shows the many people get lied to through online dating and gives a really bad name. Statistics show that people on online dating site lie about their age, height, and weight to make there self-look more appealing to others. Online dating can be used for good or for evil but it all depends on who’s sitting behind the computer screen.
Ansari states in his article that because of technology Americans have never had as many romance options as they currently do allowing increased interaction. However, he does note that with all these options there are still downsides to online dating, much like medicine has its side effects. In the article there is a section titled “Where Bozos are Studs” Within this section we see him imply that the internet can make someone feel too empowered because of the many options they have. Also, Ansari points out that it is possible that the simplest of qualities could disqualify you from finding your soul mate on these dating sites. For example a man saw a woman who had similar qualities but she was a Red Sox fan so he continued to search. Ansari also expands more on the topic of dating in genera. He speaks on the phases of a relationship, the passionate phase and the sometimes unattainable compassionate phase. Ansari has a first-hand experience with how people failed to make it pass passionate love when he attends a wedding. Several couples who attend the wedding end up splitting
One of the major arguments of the book is that the dating world has changed with the evolution of technology. Technology has created more possibilities for connections and finding partners than ever. These partners can now be found further and further from an individual’s home town. Unlike before where it was common practice to marry someone close to home. Ansari discovered this fact doing some follow up research after interviewing the elderly in a retirement home in New York City: “One-third of the couples who got married had lived within a five-block radius of each other before they got married,” (p 15).
Love has been around since the beginning of time and for as long as romantic relationships have been around; people have tried various ways of meeting one another. The mid-1990s marked the start of online dating and since then has evolved into a much more common method of dating. Online dating is typically taken advantage of in one of two ways. Some people prefer to create their own profile and rely on themselves to choose their mate choice, while others allow the online dating services to create matches between the online subscribers. In a recent study conducted by Pew Research Center they found that one in ten American’s are using an online dating site to help them locate a spouse or a long term partner (Smith 1). Due to the advances in technology in recent years, online dating has developed into a resource that has become culturally accepted and has advanced in many ways, but with that comes mate choice, safety concerns, and the outlook on online dating.
Few people will argue that online dating has become the preferred method to find dates, relationships, and possible soul-mates. eHarmony frequently advertises with the statistics that in one year they had 33, 000 people get married after meeting in its networking site. There are statistics out that predict that more than 100,000 people get married each year after meeting in a dating network. (Tracey, 2005) With statists like these, one can see why there would be so much high pressure to win curious newcomers. There are marketing tools and techniques used to win them over. These online dating sites have done many things correct.
In “A Million First Dates” (The Atlantic, Jan/Feb 2013), Dan Slater argues commiting to a stable relationship is negatively influenced by online dating because of a decline in commitment in couples. Essentially, the more options a person is given to find the perfect person in a short amount of time, the less they are inclined to stay in a relationship. For example, Slater’s case study subject, Jacob, a man with a difficult time meeting women and genuinely falling in love. After easily finding a dream woman on a dating website he found it easier to find someone else once their relationship ended. Hence, online dating made it easier for him (and possibly other users) to change views on a long or lifetime monogamous relationship.
In Brooks’ essay, his thesis states that “[t]he online dating world is superficially cynical . . . But love is what this is all about. And the heart, even in this commercial age, finds a way”(222)—implying that, although not perfect, online romance can work. He evidences his statement by illustrating how online dating “slows things down” (221), “puts structure back into courtship” (221), and “is at
Think about how your grandparents met; was it at a job they both worked at? Then think how your parents met, through their friend group? Now, how do you plan to meet your soulmate? Over the past ten years, dating has done a complete 360-degree turn. A study done on Americans by the Pew Research Center found, “66% of online daters have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or app, and 23% of online daters say they have met a spouse or long term relationship through these sites (Smith and Duggan).” From a boy asking a girl’s parents permission to date their daughter, to today when people resort to dating apps and websites like, Okcupid or Tinder.
The ancient ritual of courtship allowed both genders to seek partnership, but as social norms changed dating became more common among young people. Romantic engagements have almost always been a part of society, but they have also been a source of sorrow. Some want to blame dating sites for the actions of human beings, but even with that factor removed, people would still exhibit unethical behavior. The chances of finding a stable partner depend on the general intentions of the population, but society has developed more efficient ways of finding a partner who does want to settle down. While less romantic than meeting in a bookstore or university, people resort to online dating not only for convenience but for accuracy/ efficiency.
Today, approximately 40 million Americans are looking for love through the internet (Rudder). When that feeling can’t be found in the physical world, people sometimes turn to the online world in search for true love. While you, as a person, have the goal of finding the right person, you also do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings just as you do not want to be hurt by someone. So rather than rejecting a potential match from the beginning, you engage in conversation with this person. Through this conversation, you begin to see more of this person than you originally had from first glance at their
Hickey, Claire. "Internet Dating and 21st Century Courtship: Romance or Danger?"Washington Times Communities. N.p., 1 Feb. 2013. Web. 21 Feb. 2014.
And because of the influence of movies and media, it pressurizes people into subconsciously thinking that their date with that special someone should be extraordinary which usually ends up being rather expensive. While the same cannot be said about online dating as it is cost efficient and allows people to expand their horizons by not limiting themselves to the same circle of people. However, people are more likely to imagine their future with someone in traditional dating based on their personality, habits, and more, while the same cannot be said about online dating. But if done right, online dating can help a person meet other people in the real world who they have much in common with. With the help of technology, they can be living on the opposite sides of the world and still get to know each other well, giving them a chance to delay commitment until they are
Based on a research of Online Dating & Relationships, Smith and Duggan stated that the ways of finding partners have been changed with the times. In the past, people used matchmaking, arranged marriages and printed personal ads. With the rapid technology advancement, there are alternative methods - online dating sites and smart phone dating apps. To compare with the people who date traditionally, people who date online are active to choose their dream man or woman by browsing the others profiles (9).
Dating really changed in the few last years and meeting people online became not uncommon or just for young people only. But everyone now can use it to find their dates and meet new people.
In the twenty-first century, we use the internet for almost everything that we do. We use search engines such as Bing or Google to find information. Websites like Netflix and Hulu allow us to watch shows and movies without an expensive cable or satellite subscription. Social networks provide a new way to communicate with friends and family. Entire companies are run through the internet. With gas prices rising every day, it has also become increasingly popular to see a lot of jobs turn to telecommuting. It’s only natural that as other aspects of our lives conform to the internet, that online dating should also begin to be more prevalent in how we form new romantic relationships. Online dating is the new normal, and this is more evident now than ever.