Researcher Mark Knapp is best-known for describing and developing a 10 step model of relational stages, it explains how relationships come together and how they come apart (Alder, pg 287). I decided to take one of my past relationships with an ex-boyfriend of mine through Mark Knapp's relational stages model. I will be referring to my ex-boyfriend as Johnny throughout this paper. Johnny was the one who initiated our relationship through an unusual channel for the time: Myspace. Initiating is the first stage of the Knapp’s relationship model and it is the stage where a person shows interest in making contact with another and you must demonstrate you are worth that person's time (Alder, pg 288). I can remember it quite clearly the first message …show more content…
We instantly started talking about the film we wanted to see and proceeded to get our tickets together. After the movie, he politely asked if it was okay for him to hold my hand and I let him. We walked around the whole mall hand-in-hand talking about the movie we just watched. Then we went outside for a full-blown make out session in a secluded spot. The only reason we stopped was because security told us to leave the premises, we could have easily been there all night. My mom had dropped me off at the mall that night and so he offered to give me a ride home. Right before dropping me off he asked for me to be his girlfriend. And then he shared he was already falling deeply in love with me. I was so shocked by how fast it all happened and it all seemed like a dream to me. I agreed to be his girlfriend, but told him a benevolent lie when I also agreed that I was also falling in love with him already because I did not want to hurt his feelings (Alder, pg 97). Our first date was intriguing because it first felt like we were barely initiating our relationship, then experimenting, then straight to intensifying, all the way to integrating the relationship by the end of the night.
The intensifying stage of the relationship is described as becoming less formal, euphoric, and revealing even juicy information about each other which deepens the relationship even further (Alder, pg 289). For example, I remember my car
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To illustrate, me and Johnny started to go to family functions together as a couple. Our circle of friends knew as well to invite both of us if they wanted to hang out with us. We affectionately started calling each other “babe” or “honey boo.” We only called each other by our given names if we were mad at each other. Our song became “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s and he would sing to me anytime I asked him too. We even bought a new playstation together and would share it with each other. We developed a routine of always eating lunch together if we had any morning classes and sometimes we would even take classes together. We would eat lunch at a small italian place and we went there so often their servers became our good friends. I remember one time it was our 2nd year anniversary and they treated us to free
Chapters 5 and 6 in Extraordinary Relationships gave a good introduction into new concepts relating to Human Interactions and Relationships. These new concepts give a better idea in understanding relationship patterns and the various emotions that come along with relationships. Two concepts that stood out to me that were discussed throughout the chapter were relationship patterns and relationship emotions. Over time many relationships develop their own unique patterns. In many cases these patterns have been part of the individual all along. Gilbert (1992) states “Usually what people do in a relationship crises is more of the same thing they have been doing, only more intensely and more anxiously” (pg.36). When individuals go through relationship
Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the stages on how our relationship is built.
The first phase of our relationship involved adjustment to our new roles as Boyfriend and Girlfriend, and the feelings that accompanied it. This occurred quickly; for my part, I had not been more than casually involved with a woman for seventeen months, and was feeling the pressure and judgment of a society that expects its members to engage in heterosexual courtship at my age. Jaimie was in the process of terminating a mutually destructive relationship and had experimented with several unsuccessful liaisons;...
The first of these three types, personal commitment, is the wanting of the individual to carry on in a relationship. This personal desire to remain in said relationship is, however, explained by way of three other elements. Personal commitment is described as the culmination of one’s attitude toward the relationship itself, toward one’s significant other and to what degree one feels their role in the relationship is an integral part of who they are as a person (Berscheid & Regan, 2005)..
David, P., (2014a, Winter Quarter). Stages of intimacy assessment. Class handout from Applied Couple Therapy. Antioch University, Seattle, WA. Gehart, D. (2014).
There are many times where male/female relationships are depicted ending in happiness with the two lovebirds riding off into the sunset. This idea of a perfect relationship, although it is great for love stories and bestselling novels, is simply not practical and rarely ever occurs in reality. In fact, it is more common to see the exact opposite of a perfect relationship in reality; with divorce rates rising and the growing number of people in unhappy relationships, it seems as if the idea of a perfect relationship drifts further and further away. Often there are relationships that breed problems. These problems are depicted through the relationships in Raymond Carver’s “Cathedral,” Isabel
Over a period, more, and more detailed information would be exchanged. The social penetration theory can’t go without the discussion of self-disclosure as it is most important in developing relationships. Self-disclosure is the gradual unfolding of one’s self. It is defined as, “verbally communicating personal information about the self to another person (Forgas 449).” Depending on the stage of the relationship the information can range from thoughts, feelings, goals, fears, dreams, and favorites. Individuals usually maintain protective outer layers that surround a central core that represents the true self. Social Penetration theory suggests that as a relationship becomes increasingly intimate, the self-disclosures become increasingly deep (Tolstedt 85). The first hypothesis which is revealing one 's self can be compared to peeling an onion. Peeling away the layers are similar to revealing more about the self. There are four layers of information that we disclose. The first layer is the surface. In this layer, the information is shallow and usually consist of topics that do not have to be discussed. This type of information is visible information regarding the individual, which can be assessed easily. The second layer is the peripheral layer, where personal information is exchanged. The intermediate layer consists of the exchange of opinions about
Relationship plays vital role in our life. As we grow up, we have passed many relationships with every person that we meet in our life. Relationship can motivate someone or make someone feel worse when the relationship does not work. In relationship, everyone needs to give their commitments or the relationship will fall to the ground. Everyone has their own story behind relationship term. I have my own story and I will explain it in terms of the 10 relationship stages in this essay. My story is about my first love with this one beautiful girl.
The fairy tales say that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, the stages of our communication make it seem as though I am now dating a different person following dissolution and subsequent repair. However, even the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through a combination of ups and downs, much like the stages of a relationship.
This paper will discuss developing and maintaining relationships in relation to my own relationships with my family, friends, and boyfriend.
Months ago, we decided to give love a try. However, we both were single and not quite planning on sharing feelings, personal biography, issues, our past, and who we were at that time with anyone. Two different worlds just collide in one night. We both had a coupl...
Interpersonal relationships are those that we have with other people. Communication between others is essential to human survival. We communicate to get what we need: food, affection, knowledge, understanding, money, the list goes on. In these relationships, we build our image of ourselves, learn to trust, and sometimes fall apart. This paper will analyze interviews discussing what happens in their real life experiences with relationships and compare how they may differ from person to person.
Fingerman, K., & Lang, F. (2004). Growing Together: Personal Relationships across the Life Span. New York: Cambridge University Press.