Six Colors of Love
Did you know that it only takes up to four minutes to decide whether you like someone or not? Researcher John A. Lee concluded that humans have six separate ways to love another human been. As he came up with this theory he labeled these love forms with Greek nouns. The love styles or also known as the six colors of love are eros, ludus, storge, pagma, mania, and agape. Many researcher expanded John A. Lee's theory, for example, they found men tend to be ludic, and women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Also, teens often tend to have a mania love style due to they discover love for the first time.
"So this is love, so this is what makes life divine." recited from Cinderella. This quote is equivalent to one of John A. Lee's theory, eros, is like a fairy tale love story or a fantasy love. An erotic lover focuses on the beauty and the physical attraction, for example, love at first sight. Studies show people who identify as an eros lover have a solid optimistic viewpoint about the future of their love relationship. Similarly to Cinderella the movie, the prince fell...
These love types remain good indicators of what to look for in your own personal relationships. Starting with Friendly (Storge), this love type portrays partners who exhibit predictable behavior and whose relationship is rooted in friendship (The Office, Connor). Second, the Forgiving love type (Agape) indicates an unconditional form of love that exhibits patience and selflessness (Titanic, Robyn). The next love type is referred to as Obsessive (Mania). Obsessive lovers exhibit characteristics of extremist qualities and intense behaviors (Game of Thrones, Brantley). Similarly, the Game-Playing love type (Ludus) exhibits parallel debilitating characteristics such as lack of commitment and game-like behavior (Gossip Girl, Ashley). The final two love types are seemingly the most sought after: Practical and Romantic. Practical love (Pragma) features partners that practice relational qualities that are consistently logical and derived from common sense (Big Bang Theory, Connor). Romantic love (Eros), largely known as the “ideal” love, exhibits romantic, sentimental behaviors within a committed relationship (The Notebook ,
When Eros comes to mind, one imagines a couple falling in love and growing old together; one could even imagine a man looking at a woman with lust. While Eros is a love between a man and a woman, it involves much more than lust and the event of falling "in love". Gatsby, a character in "The Great Gatsby", forms a love that is equal to Eros. He does this through desiring only one woman and by unfortunately making Eros a god in his life.
‘So if Love is lacking in attractive qualities, and if good things are attractive, then Love lacks good qualities too.’ ” (Plato 40-41)
Deceiving and irrational, love can be a challenging emotion to endure. It can be difficult to find happiness in love, and on the journey to find that happiness, love can influence one’s thought process. Shakespeare uses specific wording in his play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, to poke fun while exploring the individual’s quest for love. The desire to find love and a happy ending with a lover is so strong in the foundation of mankind, that people will not accept a life without it. In fact, they would rather give up their attribute of rationality than their opportunity to find a significant other. The heart’s control of the mind can make a foolish man.
Love is often misconstrued as an overwhelming force that characters have very little control over, but only because it is often mistaken for the sum of infatuation and greed. Love and greed tread a blurred line, with grey areas such as lust. In simplest terms, love is selfless and greed is selfish. From the agglomeration of mythological tales, people deduce that love overpowers characters, even that it drives them mad. However, they would be wrong as they would not have analyzed the instances in depth to discern whether or not the said instance revolves around true love. Alone, true love help characters to act with sound reasoning and logic, as shown by the tales of Zeus with his lovers Io and Europa in Edith Hamilton’s Mythology.
As children, most of our life lessons are acquired through the simplicity of fairy tales. Subliminal messages taught us to always believe in true love and in the eternal victory of good over evil. This is the case in the Brothers Grimm’s “Cinderella”, a popular fairy tale embodying a classic folk tale myth-element of unjust oppression followed by triumphant reward, where true love conquers all and eventually sets the world right. Cinderella is a fallen princess who finally meets with tough reality, bearing headstrong grit and perseverance. She proves that by entrusting one’s self and instincts, one can then achieve anything they put their minds to. She demonstrates such boldness when dealing with her step-family, sorting out the good lentils from the bad, and finally when making a sudden and unexpected appearance at the ball.
Love, in classical Greek literature, is commonly considered a prominent theme. Love, in present days, always appears in the categories of books, movies, music, etc. Interpreted differently by different people, Love turns into a multi-faceted being. In Plato’s work Symposium, Phaedrus, Pausania, Eryximachus, Aristophane and Agathon, each of them presents a speech to either praise or definite Love. Phaedrus first points out that Love is the primordial god; Pausanias brings the theme of “virtue” into the discussion and categorizes Love into “good” one or “bad” one; Eryximachus introduces the thought of “moderation’ and thinks that Love governs such fields as medicine and music; Aristophanes draws attention to the origin and purposes of Love; Agathon enunciates that the correct way to present an eulogy is first to praise its nature and gifts.
maintaining the course of their true love. A long standing couple, even the king and queen of fairies face the complications true love brings from time to time: “Ever true in loving be, / and the blots of Nature’s hand” (5.1.425-426...
Love is heavily intertwined with being human. Indeed, everyone doubtlessly experiences some form of love in their life, be it towards objects or people. This love is organized into three types; eros, philos, and agape. Eros, likely the most common kind of love in western culture, denotes sexual desire, or lust. Philos covers love among friends, or love for the purpose to gain something. Agape, the rarest of all, encapsulates selfless love, or the willingness to die for another. All forms are present within the three works, Voltaire’s Candide, Cervantes’ Don Quixote, and in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, albeit in differing levels.
Loving and being loved adds a feeling of purpose to our lives. Humans accept love from anyone and anything they can receive it from, it’s just human nature. In the literary work of “The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet” by William Shakespeare, the reader is introduced to two characters, Romeo and Juliet, who believe they share feelings of “true love” towards each other. However, such deep affection that both characters had for each other is not something that can be developed in a short amount of time, for that would not be love, it would be lust. Romeo and Juliet were two impulsive teenagers who did not understand the concept of “true love”.
Psychologist Robert Sternberg developed the "Triangular Theory of Love" which defines the three components of love needed for a "perfect" relationship as commitment, passion, and intimacy (companionship) (Wikipedia). "The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other" (Wikipedia). In Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, she introduces five couples which enter into marriages in all different types of love. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have an infatuated love that fades to no love at all, Charlotte and Mr. Collins enter into an empty love, Lydia and Mr. Wickham fall into a fatuous love, Jane and Mr. Bingley focus on a companionate love, and finally, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy find an all consummate love for each other. Throughout the novel, Austen uses these five variations of love to employ characters and define their futures.
First, to get back on track, it is important to look at the three separate levels of love, and it would make sense to first look at eros. Eros is a romantic love, the kind of love one would have towards a beautiful object, or person. It is that sexual drive that is most apparent at the early stages of a relationship. This could be considered to be the first definition people would think of when questioned about the meaning of love. In fact in a more layman attempt at understanding eros one can think of the feeling one has during a crush, where a person’s affections are aimed at a single individual.
The meaning of love is as intricate and unique as the purpose that it serves. It seems that the nature of love is found in the mind, the body and the soul. In Plato’s Symposium each member of the drinking party gives their own interpretation of love. As each speaker engages in their discourse, the concept of love is evaluated from different angles. According to Phaedrus, homoerotic love is the highest form of love and that sacrificing oneself for love will result in a multitude of rewards from the gods, while Pausanias believes that there are two forms of love: Commonly and Heavenly. As a physician, Eryximachus claims that love appears in every part of the universe, including plants and animals and that protection results from love. Before starting his speech, Aristophanes tells the group that his discussion about love may seem completely absurd, as he explains that in the beginning one body had two people who were eventually split in half by Zeus. This is meant to explain why people are constantly looking for their “other half”. Moreover Agathon, the poet the symposium is celebrating, critiques the previous speakers by stating that they failed to praise the god of love. He claims that love rejects feebleness and embraces youthfulness while also implying that love creates justice, courage and wisdom.
Like most fairy tales that commence with "Once upon a time," William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night is a romantic comedy where a basic conflict is eventually resolved so that all the protagonists live "happily ever after." Similar to Shakespeare's other romantic comedies, Twelfth Night not only includes conflict resolution, but also a wedding in the final act meant to signify the good fortune that is bestowed on all the central characters at the conclusion of the play. Ultimately love is supposed to conquer all things. As displayed in fairy tales, love comes complete with chirping birds and a rainbow painted sky. Shakespeare, however, mocks love in its absurdity and accuses it of imperfection because love is a truth that is not perfect and does not always triumph. By examining the characters Olivia and Orsino, a reader will recognize that love is inconsistent and unconventional, and is capable of being genuine at times and egotistical at others; in order for love to be unconditional a level of openness and honesty must first occur. This level of sincerity is evident through the theme of gender bending.
One of the eight concepts is “Eros” or Erotic love, which represents sexual passion and desire— typically falling under romantic relationships. Eros is mostly based on sexual feelings and desires rather than anything else. The next type of love is “Philia” or Affectionate love, which describes the love of friends—especially ones that experienced hard times with each other. This type of love is free from romance, but mostly focuses on loyalty. In addition, “Storge” or Familial love symbolizes natural love between family, principally between parents and children. Like “Philia” it is also free of romance. The fourth type of love in Greek society is “Ludus” or Playful love that symbolizes a playful form of love, for example, between lovers. Every relationship should maintain the playful form to retain a fresh relationship and to stray away from always being serious. The fifth type of love is “Mania” or Obsessive love, which a person becomes jealous because they want love and to be loved. This love can lead to many problems in a romantic or interpersonal relationship because of jealousy. Next is “Pragma” or Enduring love, which symbolizes a matured love over time. Furthermore, this relationship has passed physical touches— but developed into a casual, loving relationship. Does not only include marriages, but friendships that have occurred for a long time. Moreover, “Philautia” or Self love occurs when we love ourselves regardless of anything. The Greeks acknowledged that we must first love ourselves before we can demonstrate love to anyone else. We cannot share what we do not obtain, we must first love ourselves (Sol, 2016). Additionally, the eighth type of Greek love is “Agape” or Selfless love, which is unconditional love. Out of all the types of loves, it is the purest due to the reason it does not expect anything. Regardless of how many mistakes or flaws a person has,