Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics, observes that in our society the style of communication of men is seen as powerful and positive over the style communication of women. Tannen’s argument does not necessarily suggest a right or wrong way for men and women to communicate; rather, she tries to explain why our society has made men’s communication the most positive way to communicate. In the American culture, society has established a “right way” for men and women to communicate, but it has caused issues over the years. Directness or indirectness whether used by men or women in different cultures, come to the same conclusion, if the men communicate with indirectness or directness it’s considered to be the “right way.” Deborah Tannen, …show more content…
Rather, our consumptions about the status of women compel us to interpret anything they do as reflecting low status.” Indirectness does not reflect low status in cultures but it is seen in that way when women use it as their form of communication. Tannen’s observation clearly shows women’s communication style is lower than men’s because societies have established that whatever form of communication styles men choose is automatically considered superior and positive. This only silences women who wish to be heard but are not only because of their way of expressing their thoughts. As much as women try to fight against the established “right way” to communicate; there will be no change because again their communication is deemed powerless compared to that of the men. Tannen affirms that the way women communicate is seen as ‘powerless’ in men’s view and often labeling women to be inferior than men describing that “..the …show more content…
In Grey’s Anatomy, an American TV show, Season 12: Episode 9 - “The Sound of Silence” Meredith Grey, the female character, voices that “In group settings, men are 75% more likely to speak up than women. And when a woman does speak up, it's statistically probable her male counterparts will either interrupt her or speak over her. It's not because they're rude, it's science. The female voice is scientifically proven to be more difficult for a male brain to register. What does this mean? It means, in this world, where men are bigger, stronger, faster, if you're not ready to fight, the silence will kill you.” Grey talks about men in group settings are likely to talk over women especially in the workforce. Showing that men are more likely to speak over women and forcing women to keep in silence. Even though it is scientifically proven that a female’s voice is hard for a male’s brain to process; society has accepted that it is normal for men men to interrupt or speak over women because of her way of communicating. It has been established that men are more “powerful” than women, this might be true biologically but should not reflect women’s communication style to be considered less than that of the men. As we discussed in class, I understood that students listen more to their male teachers because I have had both female and male teachers that communicated directly or indirectly.
Tannen points out “a greater percentage of discussion time is taken by men’s voices.” (2) She tells us why this is a disadvantage to the women in the classroom. She then continued to separate the two genders into their given stereotypes. Girls tend to separate themselves from large groups; they talk amongst
Deborah Tannen’s, “Fighting For Our Lives,” explores the ideas and concepts behind human sociology. She delves into the sociolinguistic relationship between women and men in conversation. Tannen amplifies the importance between language and gender and how they affect interpersonal relationships. Tannen showcases her analytical thinking processes by using rhetorical strategies to support her claim on conflicted communication within the argument culture. Specifically, focusing on politics, the law, education, spousal relationships, the media and within work environments. She gives many examples to support her claim by using figurative language and literary devices such as metaphors and logic and reasoning to accurately convey her message.
The reason for this is because according to Tannen she states "...it is women who are direct and men who are indirect...Fro them, indirectness, like the men who use it, has high status". In the island, it is the opposite of the gender role norm since it is me that are the ones who are indirect but are still seen to be higher in status than women. The importance of this is to show how basically in any type of social environment, women will always be the ones to be seen less than males even when they do the same things as males would do.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Today, women and men are more socially equal then 1993 when Tannen had written this short essay. Through these twenty years women have accomplished many things in different areas that set them equal to the supposedly inferior, men. In my opinion there is no unmarked human being. You are marked by just saying you are male or that you are female. Men are marked just like women are just a little more discreet. I feel that men are noticeably marked in areas where they are the minority. In Tannen’s short essay she says “Some years ago I was at a small working conference of four women and eight men.” We can infer out of the group that the men were the majority and the women were the minority. Also that there was some bias in the information she shared. This is why I assumed Tannen moved towards the women in her observation because they were the minority. When people are the minorities they tend to be looked at differently and marked as so. For instance nursing and secretary jobs are held by more women than men. When you see a male nurse or a male secretary, he is marked. He is the one out of all the female nurses who is marked because he is the minority. It is vice versa for women as well. For example in politics and construction where men are dominating those work areas. You see a female governor or construction worker, you know that she is marked because she is the minority in this
...ind this to be a typical male trait. Our surveys and research found however, that these types of traits are normally associated with men within the business world. Through our research, we found that in a male dominated society, adapt to the male styles of communication. As we have previously stated, the styles of communication between genders differ greatly. Men tend to use conversation to obtain data whereas women use conversation to create connections. Through our research, we also came up with some solutions for bridging the communication gaps between males and females. To reduce miscommunication, males and females must learn to interpret the messages being sent to them. They must learn to understand the speakers' motives and background. In effective communication, one must realize the experiences of the speaker and listener, and work to create a common understanding of the messages being created. Males should try to understand the female need for connection whereas females need to understand the male need for data. If the two cultures can learn to combine their styles by offering information while creating a connection, the male and female communication gap will be bridged.
Tannen, Deborah. “His Politeness Is Her Powerlessness.” You Just Don’t Understand: women and men in conversation. New York: HarperCollins, 1990. 203-5. Print.
Steven Pinker distinguishes the difference between talking to man and women. Pinker showed a lady that was comfortable talking to another lady and the lady became angry when her talking to a man, not women (Pinker 2007 .p112, 113). People used intricacies method to achieve their needs and emotion instead of saying what they need to say directly. (Pinker 2007 .p113) Furthermore, even in a sexual situation, people twist and turn around and turn around their words. For example, “would you like to come up and see my etching?” (Pinker 2007.p113) Moreover, people use a kind word to order something from someone else without making a demand to the receiver or using indirect speeches to avoid a problem that may happen by mistake. (Pinker, 2007
No matter what is meant, it’s the interpretation that counts. This goes back to men and women being different. Tannen tells a story about Amy and Donald. Amy, attempting to be kind, sugar coats the issue she is having with Donald. This issue goes right over Donald’s head and he gets upset that Amy didn’t simply tell him. The interpretation of the exact same conversation was utterly different (63-64). People tend to communicate in the way they understand communication. If he or she likes direct people, direct is the way he or she will likely handle a situation. A timid person may see this directness as
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
Krolokke, Charlotte; Sorensen, Anne Scott, "Three Waves of Feminism: From Suffragettes to Grrls". Gender Communication Theories and Analyses: From Silence to Performance. SAGE Publications, Inc; 2005 1-17. Print.
Besides, she highlights that indirection, deviousness, evasion are traditionally covers for femininity and also the meaning of disguising aggression against things they are and she suggest through these attitudes, a woman expresses discomposure about, and subtly subverts, the traditional lots, the classical and traditional powerlessness and the function and power of women and men.
Wood, J. T. (2011). Gendered Verbal Communication. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture (10th ed., pp. 118-137). Boston, MA: Cengage.
Wardhaugh states different social norms defining the standards of being men or women, which has a profound influence on the language behavior shown by different genders. In other words, both men and women should possess the ability to show either masculinity or feminity through the language they use. When this ability overlaps with the other gender, however, one might be considered as as outsider of their own gender. He then lists the main differences between males and femals with the connection with language: genetic differences, social differences (e.g. various roles people take within a certain society), and linguistic differences (e.g. speech style and word choice). Doing so, he gives readers an indepth idea about how gender differences link to various language behaviors. He further explains how these differences are possibly created and constructed in society. Wardhaugh also examines a few common gender stereotypes, such as women talk more than men, and proves most of the stereotypes are wrong.