In the book, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, Lewis Smedes proposes that we forgive in four stages which are hurt, hate, healing, and coming together. He indicates that if we do not choose to forgive those who caused us pain then we are allowing them to have power over us. He explains that the beginning stage of forgiveness is to acknowledge our hurt so we can decide if we would like to rebuild or continue to be miserable. This means that for us to improve we must let go of the grudge we have towards someone. He is hinting that if we choose not to get rid of the grudge then we will be more burden with hate. He talks about how a person that is supposed to shower us down with love and kindness can scorn us. Also, he makes it known that some people become terrified to acknowledge their hurtful feelings …show more content…
He is illustrating that people think they can resolve their problems by being hateful towards the person that mistreated them but that does not cause their situations to improve. He explains that we can begin to see truth in someone that once hurt us by forgiving them but if we do not forgive them our hate blinds us from seeing who the person really is. Smedes advices people to communicate with the person who mistreated them so that they can try to get on one accord. He is hinting that there are two sides to every story. He wants people to realize that the person who offended them might not think they have offended them so that is why he believes people should tell each other how they feel. Smedes believes that when the hurt person and the wrongdoer both decide to come clean with one another that is when they can allow themselves to forgive. He explains that we can forgive someone for their wrong doings towards us without forgetting because we can still be genuine with forgiving the person even if we continue to remember what the person
Life as we all know is full of disappointment and filled with disparity. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and forgive ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with traumatic experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These experiences brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our spirits down. Although these experiences may scar us and fill us with regret and guilt, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets haunt us. Self forgiveness is a key to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.
trying to put across the fact that all people have their faults and their good attributes, but many people are clouded with other people ’s. gossip and follow the crowd. I think he is trying to say that if People think about someone deep down who they hate, they realise they don’t have much of a reason to. He is teaching the children to get to know people before they place a judgement on them, not to judge a book.
The moment we learn to forgive and love is when we can begin to recover and move on.
It is important to Morrie that people should forgive themselves and others in order to move on with life. Holding onto grudges is not something Morrie believes in as he says, “Forgive yourself, forgive others. Not everyone is lucky” (Albom, 167). I agree that it is important to forgive others and that people should be able to forgive themselves. Being able to let go of a grudge against himself/herself or somebody else will allow them to move on or start new. Unlike some others, I tend to struggle with forgiving others and myself. A very close friend who was like my sister turned away from me last year and did something I thought was unforgivable. To this day I still find myself holding a grudge against her at times, but I learned how to forgive her so I can let go and be able to move on from
In her Cosmopolitan article titled “Get Him to Forgive You,” author Debra Wallace states that there are four steps that a women has to take in order to gain her male significant other’s forgiveness after she has “messed up:”
Forgiveness and justice are very similar than we believe them to be. We believe that justice is
Forgiveness is a process. You can still feel the pain, see the events behind your eyes, and feel the loss of the people around you but you have to find a way to forgive. People think that if you forgive someone you are forgetting or saying hey I would hang out with this person now because we’re cool but thats not at all what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is righting the wrong for yourself because you want the injustice you feel to leave. It’s acknowledging to that there a wrong that was done to you and you decide how you want to think about it not anyone
"Time heals all wounds." is a famous line in American history. I don't think that this is true. My line would be, "Forgiveness heals all wounds." I think that Forgiveness in a very important part of life. Without it, people can not move on with their lives. Let's take for instance a murderer and the family of the person he killed. The murderer may be sentenced to death. The family of the person who was killed could go in and watch the man that killed their family member be put to death. That may give them peace of mind, but they still can not completely move on. They must forgive murderer for killing the person before they can really move on with their lives. Once they do this it will be easier for them. A book that really illustrated this is The Scarlet Letter. In this book there are three main characters, Arthur Dimmesdale, Hester Prynne, and Roger Chillingworth. These three people either needed forgiveness or needed to forgive someone. Some got it, some didn't. Whether or not they received or gave forgiveness had a great impact in their lives.
People are taught to “forgive and forget” in order to be happy, afterall living with a grudge can being a serious damper in ones life.
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feeling and attitude regarding an offense; let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender. Walter (1984) stated that forgiveness is a voluntary process that usually requires courage and multiple acts of the will to complete. In Walters' view, the person who has been hurt has two alternatives: to be destroyed by resentment which leads to death, or to forgive which leads to healing and life. Sonja Lyubomirsky calls forgiveness is a natural resolution of the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss. It is a powerful choice that can lead to greater well being and better relationships.
Asking to forgive is often considered as hard words and it rarely comes out from anybody’s mouth. However, when said, it gets harder to ignore the same. In our lifetime we have been on both the sides. We might have asked somebody to forgive or somebody could have asked us to forgive them. However, the emotional concern often results from unforgiveness. When you do not forgive a person or if somebody does not forgive you, it often leads to bitterness, resentment, hated and anger. Many families often develop depression as well as social behavioral problems due to hatred and anger. In a few cases it has led to serious issues like murder.
Burgess, Olivia. "Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, And: Total Forgiveness, And: Radical Forgiveness." Project MUSE. Johns Hopkins UP, 2010. Web. 19 Apr. 2014. .
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.
I have also Learnt and accepted that the desire for revenge only brings heartache, turmoil and agitation, especially when we have experienced life filled with moments of pains and disappointments. Being on the receiving end of some unkind treatment, which was not always easy to just let go or move on-especially when you find yourself feeling maltreated and angered by trusted friends and family members. Then we become so afraid to make new friends and relationships because of our past experiences, which affect our lives. We try to protect ourselves by building a fence around us to avoid reoccurring offenses and to prevent people from getting close to us to avoid getting hurt again. Furthermore, we should learn how to embrace ourselves and place ourselves in a situation without stress, anger, regret, self-pity or judgement. Having realized that, if I have not forgiven, part of my inner strength would be caged in anger, resentment, pain or stress of some kind. Forgiveness has strengthened the goodness within me which has helped me to become more active in life. I have no shame or regrets in developing positive attitude over bad feelings. While others may not understand why I constantly forgive after being angry for such a long time, the healing power of forgiveness allows me to truly move
Has someone that is a close relative or friend ever been taken away and never to return? The only way you can see or speak with them is by looking at a tomb stone. This is one of the most painful experiences any human being will go through. Most people do not even realize the forgiving and not coping with the pain is a key step in healing and letting go. But if one fails to do so they will be bitter, angry and cold heart for the rest of their life.