Grieving, Faith, and Rebuilding: A Widow's Journey

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Introduction

Since July 2009, my personal life consisted of taking care of my ill husband. My husband was my best friend and we did everything together. Last year when he passed a huge gap was left in my life. Besides dealing with my grief, I am working to build a life without him. However, I am relying on God to guide me through the grief and help me rebuild my life. Thankfully, through this program I have an opportunity to grow closer to God while I build my life for the future.
Reflection
Although I always understood that God is in charge of my life and that He provides all my needs, I also had my husband to depend on. My husband and I attended church regularly, prayed together, and participated in many other Christian practices …show more content…

Scheimer stated that, “God is jealous when we give His honor to others”. I was surprised to learn that God would not approve of my dependence on my husband or my grief. The last thing I want to do is dishonor God so I researched the word jealous. I found that God’s jealousy is different from humankind’s jealousy. When a human is jealous, he or she is envious of another person’s possession. However, when God is jealous He is jealous of His own possessions. Consequently, Exodus chapter 34, v. 14 says, “For you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God” (NRSV). In 2nd Corinthians, Paul described it as divine jealousy (2 Corinthians 11:2). Scheimer believes that God considers our independence as a sign of unbelief and unfaithfulness. But, when we give God our undivided attention we are blessed with His Spirit and taught to know and love …show more content…

Jim described the secret grace of God as “a dying person thanking God for blessings” or a “dying person appreciating the beauty of nature”. During the Spiritual Formation portion of the retreat, my group shared insights on the secret graces of God. As we shared, grace was renewed for me through several memories. First, I remembered how God enabled me to care for my sick husband through my own illness. Then grace was renewed through my memory of how my husband suffered with Cancer and renal failure for five years and never experienced pain. Grace according to Krisher, “reveals the character of God as self-giving, overflowing love and pure generosity”. Grace for me is the opportunity to learn the nature of Christ through history, the renewing of grace and studying His

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