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Flirting and Courting Rituals of The Victorian Era
In Victorian society courting rituals were put into effect to keep the young ladies pure and the gentlemen confused. Courting usually began at balls and dances where young girls were first introduced into society during their “coming out.” At every gathering of Victorian society the young ladies were chaperoned by their mothers or some other married woman so that nothing improper would happen that could ruin the young lady's reputation in society. The young ladies and gentlemen at the dances and balls were introduced through a third party and their Christian names were prohibited from being used because it would have been to forward and improper. After placing their name on the dance card of the young lady they could then proceed to dance no more then three dances because any more then that would be inappropriate in Victorian society. “After this formal introduction the gentleman would give the young lady his card to remember him by and at the end of the evening the young lady would look through her cards to see which gentleman she would allow to court her” (Powell). She would give the gentleman permission to court her by giving that gentleman her card and the right to call on her at her home where the courtship must take place.
In Victorian society there were certain criteria that each party followed to find the perfect suitor. If they followed these rules to pick their mate their personal shortcomings would balance out when they married. Certain criteria consisted of “not marrying a person with the same eye color as yourself, marrying someone that was opposite of you in physical and mental characteristics, and marry someone with straight or thicker hair if your hair was curly or thin” (“Finding” 2). After a suitable suitor is chosen and the young lady and the gentleman begin to court certain rules must be followed. These rules were in place to keep the ladies pure until marriage. “The courting couple always had to be chaperoned, the couple needed permission to go out during the day, the gentleman could never stay late at the young lady's house, he could never call without permission and the young lady had to say goodbye at the parlor door” (“Love” 21).
Because Victorian society was repressive towards true emotion, gentlemen and their ladies could not publicly express their love for one another.
Beth Bailey published the article “From Front Porch to Backseat: The History of Dating” in the magazine titled “OAH Magazine of History” in the July 2004 issue. This excerpt comes from her book, From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in the Twentieth-Century America. Bailey is a social/cultural historian of the 20th century United States. She is employed with Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, her area of research focusing on the history of gender and sexuality and on war and society/military institutions in the U.S. history. Bailey has published numerous other books that have received high ratings. In the article, Bailey presents some...
Victorian Morality was completely adamant and strict. It can be best described as the principle that condoned sexual prudery, zero tolerance of criminal actions, and its social ethic, as it changed England. It was all based on behavior and conduct. Lifestyle practices in England were way different until Victorianism, as it correlates with morals and religion.
To “be a lady” in Victorian times, women had to repress their “instincts,” meaning that they must not have sex. Lead by the “cult of true womanhood,” which dictated piety, purity and submissiveness in women, females were directed to become almost asexual. Women went into sexuality thinking that it was something not to be talked about, that women were not supposed to have a libido, and that the act of sexual intercourse was not something that they should enjoy.
In the Victorian society, love, sex and desire were the unspeakable subjects, especially for a young, unmarried woman in care of two young children. The governess herself can not imagine thinking about or mentioning her sexual needs. Her desire for love is so strong that she immediately falls in love with the man she hardly...
...n was outwardly viewed as a lowly things to do, it was a large part of Victorian age culture among successful men.
A marriage in the 19th century had many different expectations than it does today. Most marriages, especially for the upper class, were conducted as an exchange of assets and used for public display. Hendrik Hartog in his lecture titled, "Marital Expectations in Nineteenth Century America," writes, "At least until the middle years of the nineteenth century being married meant subjecting oneself to a known and coercive public relationship," (96). It was an agreement that publicly cha...
The Victorian era brought about many changes and the introduction of new things. One issue that stood out was “The Sex.” Many things evolved around this issue like changes in laws all over, it became a topic for literary poets/ writers and also for the woman question. This term means discrimination based on a person’s sex and during the 19th century this was a vast issue toward women. This all Started from the early Victorian era with queen victoria, who was the monarch of the united kingdom of Great Britain from 1837- 1901. Being the queen she played a very substantial role during this time. As a wife she showed a domestic side. She supported Prince Albert, had his children, became very submissive and devoted to her husband a family. This image she portrayed became a trend to the outside world. Most people looked at this as what the ideal woman was during this era.
During the Victorian Age, 1830-1901, society had firm opinions on how they believed women should behave. The opinions, however, changed and varied a great deal over the span of the 71 years that made up the Victorian period. Towards the beginning of that era women were seen as the fairer sex, and the majority of their early lives were spent preparing for marriage. Over the course of the Victorian era, however, society made many different social, political, and economic changes, as well as witnessed the creation of many new gadgets. As society evolved throughout the Victorian era to be more advanced, it also became more aware of the need to treat women as equals in regards to rights, jobs, pastimes, and opinions. An example of inequality that women faced during that time was when men would keep up the appearance of being in a loving family, meanwhile they would be cheating on their wives and betraying their families (Frost 196). As Horrible as husbands cheating on their wives was, that was not what was seen as the issue at that time. The part of cheating during that era that bugged society was that if a woman committed the same trespass and was unfaithful in a marriage she would be publicly shamed (Frost 196). It is because of this injustice to women, and the many other examples of inequality that they faced that during the Victorian era, that the English wished to reform marriage. They felt that the structure of marriage was unfair to the females involved. By the end of the era, there had been a significant amount of ground laid towards female equality. The literary works The Lady of Shalott and The Goblin Market address and respond to the conflicts and roles of women as they changed over the course of the Victorian era. Both p...
There were many prostitutes during the Victorian era. Most were lower-class women, with the exception of the mistresses kept by upper-class men. According to Victorian standards, respectable women did not consider sexual intercourse pleasurable. It was their duty to be intimate with their husbands. Having affairs was disgraceful (Waters). Prostitutes, on the other hand, were sexually intimate with men because they enjoyed sex. Men enjoyed prostitutes because they could not enjoy their wives. Victorian femininity was not defined by sexual pleasure, while Victorian masculinity was defined by sexual pleasure and conquest.
In the Victorian era, in New York City, men and women roles within the society were as different as night and day. A man regardless of his extra curricular activities could still maintain a very prevalent place in society. A woman’s worth was not only based family name which distinguished her class and worth, but also her profession if that was applicable.
During the Victorian Era, society had idealized expectations that all members of their culture were supposedly striving to accomplish. These conditions were partially a result of the development of middle class practices during the “industrial revolution… [which moved] men outside the home… [into] the harsh business and industrial world, [while] women were left in the relatively unvarying and sheltered environments of their homes” (Brannon 161). This division of genders created the ‘Doctrine of Two Spheres’ where men were active in the public Sphere of Influence, and women were limited to the domestic private Sphere of Influence. Both genders endured considerable pressure to conform to the idealized status of becoming either a masculine ‘English Gentleman’ or a feminine ‘True Woman’. The characteristics required women to be “passive, dependent, pure, refined, and delicate; [while] men were active, independent, coarse …strong [and intelligent]” (Brannon 162). Many children's novels utilized these gendere...
Marriage is another aspect of families in the 1700's that is very different from today. Most girls in the 1700's married extremely early around th...
Marriage in the Victorian time period was carefully contemplated, as Rosenberg addresses that “Wedding ceremonies were seen as an expression of Victorian social values that that the Queen wished to renounce, while on the other hand, such occasions were viewed as having national and collective significance” (Rosenberg 98). Love played a very tiny role in the Victorian Era marriages. An engagement was more approached as a business deal. Once married all possessions went to the husband as property. Anatolyevna emphasizes how “Victorian weddings should be transformed from a formalized procedure to a celebration, a holiday for a young couple in honor of their initiation” (Anatolyevna 1) The Marriage and Wedding Customs of the Victorian time period are interesting because they are religious, strict, unique, and elegant. First of all, the Victorian time period wedding mores were intriguing because of their strong connection to religion. Terpening explains that “in the sense that marriage is an act through hardship and trial, people who led Christian lives were rewarded by enjoying years with their spouse” (Terpening 22). Even though in the Victorian time period their marriages were arranged, if you and your spouse had the same religions beliefs your marriage will be strong and last longer than other couples. People during the Victorian time believed that if you didn’t practice the same beliefs of your partner your marriage would fall apart or be in great bitterness. Religion played a big role in the Victorian wedding ethnicities but the harsh laws of marriage were a huge part for weddings during this time period. Next, the Victorian time period Wedding traditions were remarkable because of the firm traditions. Author Kat Stromquist ment...
Webster's Dictionary defines courtship as "the act of wooing in love; solicitation of woman to marriage." In a patriarchal society, a daughter remains under the control of her father until she is married; often, the marriage is arranged or encouraged for economic or political reasons, and it is her father that ultimately holds the keys to her heart, giving permission for the suitor to pursue her. Her obligation is to submit to her father and accept his blessing, often leaving her little or no choice in the matter. In the Elizabethan society, "girls were raised to obey their parents without quest...
Like every aspect in Victorian society, great expectations were placed upon weddings. In fact, during this time frame, several guidebooks for weddings were referred to, one of these books was “Our Deportment: On the Manners and Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society” by John H. Young. Many traditions regarding weddings first took place during the Victorian Age and are still followed today.