Dream Awake

Becoming a teacher was not the future I dreamt about. Standing on dais with dignity, speaking in front of the crowd with authority, and gathering focus from a hundred pairs of curious eyes was a reverie too far ahead for me to catch up with. Fortunately, in my sophomore year of college, I was privileged to become a physics lab TA, which turned my age-long reverie into a reality.

Honestly, instead of being interested in teaching, I was more motivated by fame, reputation, and authority. On a psychological level, my feelings were fair and reasonable. By maintaining excellent academic credits, I was forced to give up most of my social activities. To me the formula for academic excellence and social activities are inversely related. I was more anxious to become a man of prestige instead of a man of books.

The night before the first class, I was too excited to sleep. Next day, after nearly five hours of lectures in a row, I dragged my jaded body toward the physics lab, where I would be the focus of attention. The moment I stepped into the laboratory, some amazing chemical vapors got into my head and tripped me into illusion. I was not in a lab, but in a boardroom. The throne was located in front of six evenly distributed council boards, overhead legendary heroes placed their images on the side wall, and Corpus Jurist tidily lay in the bookshelves. Walking with a stiff and pompous manner, I told myself I ruled this room for evermore. Sitting on the throne, I picked up a chalk, smiled, and welcomed the coming subjects.

A tall guy peeped into the room, with an amazed expression in his eyes. He asked if this is the room for physics lab. I was momentarily speechless with excitement and discomposure. I just nodded to show agreement. As soon as more and more people got in with a surprised look on their faces, I knew, maybe I was not like most teachers, too young and too short to possess authority and dignity.

At exactly 4:10pm, it was time to start the class, and it was time to break peace in this room, or I'd lose not only the dignity and authority but also my reputation.