I am a better person because of my parents’ divorce. Of course you would immediately assume that there is some profound reason that I should come to feel this way, yet I assure you that I believe that divorce is a positive reaction to a negative situation. The tearing apart of two people’s marriage is never thought of as a joyous idea in itself, but my experiences have come to highlight the benefits of this frowned upon idea. If it wasn’t for my parent’s separation, I would never have come to accept change in my life, appreciate human individuality, or value the circumstances of others. My growth started with their divorce, and their divorce began with a series of events which I will quickly go on to explain.
My parents were in a heated debate over financial issues, an alien topic to my eleven year old intellect. As the discussion grew in excitability and anger, the room sucked into a suffocating density. At this moment I immediately knew where this was leading and rushed my younger brother upstairs out of harm’s way. There was never a physical harm to protect him from, but it was as though I did this to spare his innocent mind from developing into one like mine; doubtful and angry. Why can’t my parents just get along? Why are they even fighting? Why does my life have to be this way? Why me? Why are they so careless of our feelings? What did we do to deserve this lifestyle? Why us? I spent too much time questioning, and pitying myself over the fact that my parents didn’t love me enough to stay happy with each other. Amongst my questioning always came out the little blip that disrupted my parents arguing, “Are you guys getting a divorce?” I’m not quite sure where I first heard the word, but it became my magic word that took all...
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...inflicted. This woman, who I think of as so strong, healthy, and admirable admit to me that her life of abuse had led her to get involved with drugs and alcohol. Luckily, she had eventually pulled herself out of her addiction and was able to proceed on with living, then continuing on to forgiving her father. She mentioned that her parents had considered it, but never did get divorced and are still married to this day, yet had always wished that it had been as easy for her family to just simply pull the plug on their marriage. As stated by the NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence), one in every four woman experience domestic violence in their lifetime, and children witnessing the abuse are at strongest risk for developing violent behavior as well. To women who are abused in front of their children, please save the next generation and file for divorce.
Boy meets girl. Girl and boy fall in love and get married. Girl and boy have children and life could not possibly get any better. Many years later: Boy and girl start to notice something different in their relationship, something wrong. They decide that their relationship is over, whether they’re both happy with that decision or not and they divorce. Boy and girl’s children see them divorce. Children process the divorce in different ways, and it stays with them for the rest of their lives. People who experience a divorce are affected by it, whether they want to be or not. More often than not, those effects are negative. Before any parents make a rash decision, and before any children put judgment on their parents for messing them up, let’s take a look at the thing people call DIVORCE and how it affects those involved.
Children of divorce have a different experience during the holidays, birthdays, and other family events. The process of parental separation alone can pay a toll on a child’s psychological health. Family events may make things awkward around the parents, but that doesn’t even compare to the things children of divorce will have to deal with, even into their adult lives. Constance Matthienssen, author and mother of three, shares in her article “Harry Potter and Divorce Among the Muggles” how her divorce affected her children (“Harry Potter”). Many parents don’t think about a divorce will affect their young children as they grow older, but divorce affects children even into their adult lives. Children of divorce grow to develop negative relationships with their parents, they tend to have poor self-esteem, and they may even find themselves unable to maintain an intimate relationship in their adulthood. Divorce affects every child differently, but it can cause many social issues into their adult lives.
According to Alan E. Kazdin, PhD(2000) in his book”Encyclopedia of Psychology: 8 Volume Set,” ”Currently in the United States, about 40% of the first marriages end in divorce. In addition more than half of all divorces involve children under the age of eighteen”( Kazdin,364). Some people believe that parents tend to get a divorce for one reason or another and not for disbelieve that people just can 't get along. However in the end divorce is just a stressful event. Consequently, divorce can have an important and life changing impact on the well-being and development of children. A parent can diminish the negative impact of a divorce by supporting and reassuring their children, before, during and after the separation. However most separated parents tend to pull apart from their childs once going through a divorce. Leading to lack of support for those childs.Divorce settlement process is inequitable and should be determined on a case-by-case basis,rather than by general formulas. The change I am seeking is that if the second parent(not the one that has custody) does not pay the child support or has over $2,000 in overdue payments then they should not be allowed to get the child for their time until they get caught up in payments.
The first study to be considered is a qualitative study which spanned a 25 year period and looked at 131 children from divorced families of the 1970’s. It was specifically concerned with growth and development (psychologically and socially) of these children post divorce and had extensive follow-up interviews with both parents and children at 18 months, 5, 10 and 25 year marks. At the 25 year follow-up a comparison group of adult children from intact families who had otherwise similar backgrounds were also interviewed. Some of these “intact” families were ideal while others were filled with conflict, most were somewhere in the middle. This study found a casual relationship between divorce itself and the well-being of the children which was significant all the way into adulthood. The study found that parental conflicts from before the divorce were not dominant in the children’s memories but unhappiness was related mostly to the separation itself (most children in this study had no expectations of the breakup prior to it occurring). The exception to this is when violent events occurred as with 25% of c...
Most people think about “marriage”, whether it originates from a little child watching one of their Disney princess movies or a parent trying to help their kids find a potential spouse. Unfortunately, some marriages do not work out for the best. When two spouses don’t agree and eventually grow apart from each other, it will then lead to “divorce”. Divorce is when two spouses officially end their legal marriage, then both spouses usually separate from each other. Divorces can be painful, emotional and even liberating in times for the spouse. In today’s society, being divorced or even knowing someone being divorce is normal. In the United States alone, almost 40 to 50 percent of marriages end up divorced. It also estimated that 60 percent of second marriages end up getting divorced. When two spouses finally get
Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.
...d by their parent's divorce but also have negative side effects later on in adulthood (issue 8 pg 146). Developmental psychologist Hetherington agrees that divorce can be harmful to a child's development but that they ultimately overcome it. Eventually they will overcome it, but this is most likely to happen past stage 6, in middle adult hood after one has decided whether or not they want to spend their life with someone. Erickson's theory of personality development can help one realize the stages which are mostly affected by a parent's divorce. The stages affected are stages 3, initiative versus guilt, stage 4 industry versus inferiority, stage 5, identity versus confusion, and finally intimacy versus isolation. The symptoms of having a broken home might not always be very noticeable until a person is peeled little by little and ready to fix their heavy past.
An absence of a parent or a parent’s separation, divorce, when a child is developing, may affect the child’s future relationships. “Evidence shows that, on average, children who have experienced parental divorce score somewhat lower than children in first-marriage families on measures of social development, emotional well-being, self-concept, academic performance, educational attainment, and physical health” (Demo, Supple)
Block, Kelsey, and Sophie Spiegel . “Department of Applied Psychology.” The Impact of Parental Divorce on Emerging Adults’ Self-Esteem - Applied Psychology OPUS - NYU Steinhardt, steinhardt.nyu.edu/appsych/opus/issues/2013/spring/blockspiegel.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
In the article “Long-Term Impact of Parental Divorce on Optimism and Trust: Changes in General Assumptions or Narrow Beliefs” researchers study the long-term effects of divorce on beliefs about oneself and others. These beliefs include benevolence of the world, self-worth, and control. These assumptions are used to determine what kind of effect, if any, it has on children from divorced families. The research involves two studies conducted on a sample of 568 psychology students from a local university, both men and woman. The sample also includes 458 students who are from intact or non-divorced families. Study 1 was primarily an attempt to outline what variables are of importance. Study 2 was more fine-tuned and examined the identified variables,
One of the earliest noticeable negative effects of divorce is on children’s academic life. They are the ones who are strongly affected, because they might think it is their fault because of their parent’s divorce. In addition, they have to learn how to overcome and deal with their parent’s divorce at a very early age, which is very difficult because the child must get support to get through one of the most difficult situations in their lives. For example, Sara, my cousin, experienced her parent’s divorce at a very young age. Which led her to consider adapting to a new life change. Sara went through a lot of pressure, depression, and giving up on many things that she had when her parents were by her side. The divorce of her parents affected Sara’s academic life, day by day her grades decreased, because of lack of concentration and giving up on her life. After three...
The major portion of the 1.5 million children in the United States whose parents divorce every year feel as if their world is being shattered. Many families are torn apart each year due to divorce. When children realize that their parents are not going to work out together, it is heartbreaking. It is a proven fact that the younger children are when parents get divorced, the worse the affects are. When children are involved in a divorce, it not only affects them emotionally and physically, but they are also affected socially; and they feel like a social outcast. Many may think that divorce is horrific on children, but it is much worse than most would think. Some parents are so worried for their children’s welfare that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing that it will protect the child from the trauma of divorce. After children are affected by divorce, they will always feel as if it was somehow their fault. Out of all of the things that happen in divorce, someone has to get sole custody of the children involved. In often times, that is the hardest part for
At the young age of ten, I was faced with a situation that has had one of the largest influences in who I am today. My parents’ divorce has and still currently plays a role in my life that has affected my drive for motivation bringing diverse perspectives. At such a young age, I was filled with such remorse, discouragement, and fear. My educational abilities were collapsing, along with some of my common social activities. I was absent-minded due to my adolescent understanding and confusion of the situation. I became emotionally depleted coming eye to eye with what I was promised would never happen. My personal connections with my family gradually became diminished, from what I kept so valuable. I was placed in a situation that tore apart my contentment, arrogance, and self motivation. It wasn’t until years later, I took my position as a chance to transform my bleakness into a strong desire for greatness.
In some cases, after the divorce the parents might get back together to start over or