Interpersonal Conflict Essay

Understanding the definition of conflict, along with the approaches to conflict that should be avoided, and effective conflict management strategies would allow one to use effective interpersonal communication skills to address conflicts effectively.

When two (or more) individuals who must interact together, have different goals or ideas, a conflict arises. Although DeVito does provide a decent, summarized definition of interpersonal conflict as a “disagreement between or among interdependent individuals who perceive their goals as incompatible,” (DeVito, 241) it is important to include Dr. Hamlet’s expansion that “concern[s] scarce resources or mutually exclusive goals” (Hamlett, Interpersonal). Including this expansion broadens the definition

Unfortunately, interpersonal conflict is inevitable. Some people may try to end the conflict as quickly as possible. Avoidance and accommodation are two ways that people will use to end a conflict (DeVito, 246). One person may agree with the other, or give up on any arguments regardless of how he/she actually feels about the conflict. Agreeing to something just for the sake of avoidance is not a compromise but a concession. When an individual attempts to accommodate the other individual by conceding (or by other means), the conflict still exists, however a true resolution does not. In this situation, one individual wins and one individual loses. Over time this false resolution could lead to resentment as the “losing” individual has given up his/her needs for the other. Another common mistake, that individuals make in a conflict, is viewing each other’s opinion as a personal attack on his/her own opinion rather than just an expression of the other’s own. This misconception can often lead to “unfair fighting” as one person sets out to punish the other for the perceived attack (DeVito, 244). Effective strategies to conflict management seek to remove the negative connotations that are often associated with interpersonal

Unfortunately, emotions can take over and even undermine the negotiation process. A person may become angry and refute any and every option. A person may become sad and just give up. One of my wife’s emotional expressions of sadness is yelling. If we were in an interpersonal conflict in which she was sad, she may begin yelling. If I didn’t know better, I would perceive this as anger. It would be normal (and unhealthy) for me to become defensive and angry and respond accordingly. One key importance of effective emotion communication is self-awareness. Being familiar with your own emotions and how they affect your feelings and actions can prove to be extremely helpful in management of your emotions. Your ability to recognize and manage your own emotions can increase your ability to recognize another’s emotions and what part these emotions may be playing in the