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The effect of peer pressure
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The effect of peer pressure
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We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, and the mere thought of it creates anxiety for many of us. Those “crucial conversations” with your boss about how you feel like he’s unfairly assigning you excessive work, or that moment when your best friend finds out you’re not using her husband as your real estate agent. These moments, painful, awkward, and annoying as they are, are an unfortunate byproduct of our daily existence in the 21st century and are best left avoided at all possible costs. Or, they can be the conversations that matter the most, and the “results could have a huge impact on the quality of your life ”. That’s what the authors of “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes are high” think, and believe they can offer the tools to better navigate these conversations and provide the opportunity for people to thrive. …show more content…
According to their bio’s, Patterson has completed doctoral work at Stanford and has authored and co-authored numerous other training related works. Grenny, a social scientist, has worked with numerous different leaders in all kinds of different sectors around the world. McMillan has also worked and consulted thousands of leaders around the world and has cofounded a leadership center where he worked in research and development. And lastly there is Switzler, a renowned consultant who has served on the faculty of the Executive Development center at the University of Michigan. The book is one the highest rated (4.5 stars) and most reviewed books (1,477 reviews) on Amazon in the “decision-making & problem solving” genre
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999). Difficult conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York, NY: Viking Press.
Pierce, Jon L. and John W. Newstrom (2011) 6th edition. Leaders and the Leadership Process.
Petersen, I have realized there are many actions and changes I need to make in my life. One thing I struggle with the most is listening. In order to overcome this struggle, I am willing to incorporate the “talker-listener card” into my everyday conversations (Petersen, 2007, pp. 55-64). Using this tool will guide me in developing active listening skills. Whenever I have a disagreement with a friend or family member, I can utilize this card. According to Petersen (2007), “Using the TLC opens the door to more effective conversations when someone needs to ‘talk things over’” (p. 55). This method helps prevent screaming matches and forces people to respond calmly and rationally to disagreements they are
What do we do when we face conflict? we either run away from it, or turn to violence. Conflict usually starts as a crucial conversation that was communicated poorly. Sure, we can blame our genetic makeup for our emotions as we are hardwired to come into conflict with one another. Wynne Perry of Live Science interviewed anthropology researcher, Christopher Boehm of the University of Southern California who shed light on the issue” The genes are still making us do the same old things, which include quite a bit of conflict.” However, Boehm has some good news” Culture has given us solutions at various levels”. So, what is a crucial conversation? And, how can we handle it?
The Importance of Listening for Professional and Personal Relationships Listening is essential for communication, yet is a skill in which most are lacking. Though we are listening constantly, knowing what to listen to requires an enormous amount of discipline and practice, which is vital for communicating effectively. Learning to listen will benefit all relationships from professional to personal and not being able to listen effectively can cause these relationships to deteriorate. “Indeed, although aware of the instrumentality of listening, even trained communicators often fail to listen correctly or at opportune times” (Cline, 2013). In order for all of areas of communication in an individual to flourish, listening must be emphasized.
Chrislip, David D. and Carl E. Larson. Collaborative Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey- Bass Publishers, 1994.
Kouzes, J., & Posner, B., (2007). The leadership challenge, (4th ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-
The need for interpersonal communication across all human endeavors is growing especially in the context of
In a world where the reign of complexity rules with the strongest of influence, our ability to communicate with one another allows us to solve even the most difficult of situations. Even so, human beings take communication for granted, we possess the ability to communicate instantly from across the globe and in real time, we can alert others of danger within a minute 's notice, and keep our governments in check. Yet, we squander and misuse our communicative abilities to gossip about celebrity drama or the nonsensical events that take place within our society. However our ability may or may not be used, our potential to communicate is essential to our functionality and the survival of our interpersonal relationships
Chapter 12 in Difficult Conversation consisted of a fake conversation where a coach gave advice as needed. I though this was a very interesting way to for us to see how all the skills can be used, however I don’t believe is was very realistic. It seems that most things in this book are just to easy and real life never seems to be like that. I do think actually having a coach or someone inside your head would be very useful in a conversation. What they are trying to get at is for us to learn how to be out own coach.
Listening is a vital and important part of communication. While speaking clearly and concisely is imperative, true listening is central to speaking with mindfulness and in the case of the counselor, this mindfulness has the possibility of leading clients to their own solutions to life’s tough circumstances. In his book, Petersen (2007) breaks down the communication cycle so that we can be aware of how we react when people share their emotions with us, and how to effectively communicate by listening and speaking in turn to build strong and supportive relationships, whether they are personal or professional.
Equipped with this knowledge, I could finally comprehend the root of the dilemma. As I result, I refused to suffer in this rut, instead I adopted strategies to improve my interpersonal interactions. I constantly reminded myself to hold my head up, put my shoulders back, look people in the eyes, and relax. Though difficult, I persevered the mission better myself.
Having learned what a crucial conversation is and what sets it apart from ordinary everyday conversations was very eye-opening. I have always known that there was such thing as an important conversation such as those with someone in a superior position than you such as an employer or boss, but I did not realize that a seemingly simple conversation such as debating over a property line could be define as a crucial conversation. Now that I know the innerworkings of a crucial conversation I will be better prepared during high risk conversations in the future such as a discussion with my
Hurley, Thomas and Juanita Brown. “Conversational Thinking: Thinking together for a Change.” Oxford Leadership Journal 1.2 (2010). http://www.oxfordleadership.com/journal/vol1_issue2/olj_vol1issue2.pdf
Crucial Conversations deals with more abstract concepts such as understanding and recognizing your emotions, while Perfecting Your Pitch gives a simple, yet effective three-step process to mastering life’s crucial conversations.