Charlie Monologue

As David led me away from the table, he stopped in the doorway and without looking back said, “Thanks for dinner Charlie, it was great.”
I turned around to make eye contact with Charlie and could see him just standing there staring at us. I was sure he felt like David had just sucker punched him. I looked at Charlie helplessly. He looked back at me the same way.
David proceeded to move and take me with him up the stairs. With each step, I took I was getting angrier. My mind was reeling trying to figure out how to fix this and make it stop. I couldn’t tolerate David treating Charlie badly because he was jealous. How did I convey that without making David even more jealous? Sometimes David shared well and other times, he was just not interested

It’s not okay for either of you to behave badly towards each other. Besides, that guy thought about you all day. He called you today, on his own because he was genuinely happy for the both of you. He decided to make you one of your favorite meals, to thank you for letting him go to the Doctors today. So, here he is going out of his way to show you kindness, and you take that kindness and throw it in his face.”
David clenched his perfectly sculpted jaw and said, “Are you done?”
“Yes David, I’m done. You go ahead, go ahead and speak now, say what you’re going to say.”
He looked at me for a few seconds and said, “This is my time with you now, and I don’t want to spend it talking about Charlie.”
His response blew my mind. I looked at him dejected, shaking my head.
“You’re making me so sad right now, so sad that I need to get away from you.”
I turned to open the door and walk out. David was up in a flash. He put his hand up, on the top of the door, and stopped me from getting it open. He put his other arm around my waist and held me in place, with my back up against his chest. He leaned into me holding me firmly.
I stayed still. I said

I love you so much it hurts and I don’t know how to repair this for you. I know what the problem is, but I have no way of fixing it. Charlie has no way of fixing it. Only you can fix it.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m going to ruin everything. I just don’t know how to make myself feel differently. I try to convince myself that I can do it and then things happen that make me lose control of myself.”
He took his other hand off the door and wrapped it around me. He was holding me so tight. He cleared his throat and continued. “When I watched the two of you like that, not knowing, I was there, it killed me. It was like I died inside. I know that you have a private relationship with Charlie, the same way you have one with me, but it was like being hit over the head with it, and I couldn’t handle it.” He paused, and added, “I couldn’t stop myself from punishing him and blaming him for the hurt it made me feel. I don’t know how Charlie takes it all in stride. I’m not built like him. He’s a better man than me.“
I turned around and grabbed him by his shirt collar.
“That’s not true David. You are no less than he is, and he is no less than you are. I don’t ever want to hear you say something like