How I learned to Succeed Though My Parents’ Divorce When I was only nine years old I sat on my mother’s lap and heard the news that would impact my life indefinitely. When I learned that my parents were getting divorced, I never expected there to be any positive effects. However, in dealing with this drastic change in my life, I became a stronger person in numerous ways. Carrying my new maturity, new self-sufficiency, and new resilience on the weight of my shoulders these past 9 years have proven to me that I will succeed in life. Undergoing my parents’ divorce has heightened my level of maturity. I’ve learned life skills that allowed me to improve my self-sufficiency. Furthermore, going through this tough period of time has made me far more resilient in the face of hardships. My new level of maturity sparked within me from the very beginning. Being the oldest of my siblings, I played a very significant role in their lives. Influencing their lives by being a positive role model was a crucial factor through the divorce. While my parents were out working, I became a parent figure in my siblings lives by cooking them dinner and by driving them to the places they needed to go. I’ve …show more content…
Straight after the divorce, my mother had moved us to my grandparents’ house for 3 years, which allowed my mother to save money for her own house. Living in two separate houses while adapting to living in each home so periodically was a struggle. It was a burden getting used to the community that each parent had lived in. My father never stayed in one place for too long; as a result, my father, siblings, and I lived in 8 different homes the past 9 years. Despite the annoyances that had come along with living in two separate homes at once, I learned quickly how to adapt to new changes. Because of the experiences I’ve struggled with, I now take my resilience with pride in all situations
Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilience perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
One of the earliest noticeable negative effects of divorce is on children’s academic life. They are the ones who are strongly affected, because they might think it is their fault because of their parent’s divorce. In addition, they have to learn how to overcome and deal with their parent’s divorce at a very early age, which is very difficult because the child must get support to get through one of the most difficult situations in their lives. For example, Sara, my cousin, experienced her parent’s divorce at a very young age. Which led her to consider adapting to a new life change. Sara went through a lot of pressure, depression, and giving up on many things that she had when her parents were by her side. The divorce of her parents affected Sara’s academic life, day by day her grades decreased, because of lack of concentration and giving up on her life. After three...
and I were sat down. With this news of my parents divorce, it not only reshaped my attitude, but as well as my behavior and understanding with many issues. Sitting on the couch watching my favorite show at the time, CSI: Miami, was when my parents walked in and said to turn it off and that they had to speak to me. I can remember myself
Strengthening Family Resilience Family resilience can be described as the successful coping of family members under adversity that enables support and cohesion within the family (Walsh, 2006). According to the research, resilient families typically have many of the following protective factors: positive outlook, spirituality, family member accord, flexibility, family communication, financial management, family time, shared recreation, routines and rituals, and outside support networks (Walsh, 2003). These protective factors not only serve as a function within the family structure, but are a factor in the therapeutic process. The family resilience perspective in therapy shifts away from a deficit-based lens that views struggling families as
Change does not always come easily! As the author and journalist Gail Sheehy once said, “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” I learned this when my siblings left for college. Being young, five years old, and naive, I believed that my siblings would always be with me, even though they are twelve and seven years older than me.
My family consists of five children, which today is considered a large family. Of the five I am the youngest by six years. My parents were married for twenty-eight years before they decided that divorce was the only solution. I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage. Because of the many years my parents were married and the wide age difference between my siblings and myself I was the only child still living at home with my parents. The day my dad decided to move out was the day my life changed forever.
Living in a shabby house, my seven younger siblings have yet to mature. Because my parents loved me, they looked for a predestined spouse,
Adults are usually able to articulate their emotions and verbalize their distress, anger, pain and confusion to help themselves through this period of transition in their lives. As well, adults have the means and ability to seek outside professional assistance independently. Children on the other hand, are not as likely to have the ability to identify the source or kind of turmoil they are experiencing. Therefore, it is difficult for us, as adults, to be fully aware of the consequences of divorce on our children.
After reading about the family transition and change, it hit me that these families that are going through a divorce need to put their children first, and what it is going to be like when they have to adjust to a new lifestyle where their parents are not together anymore. “The central assumption is that divorce is a crisis of family transition which causes structural changes in family systems” (Ahrons, pg. 533). Transitioning is going to be a hard time for these children because their whole life is changing, and it puts a strain on the family because of all the stress. It is so sad that “Our culture presently provides largely negative role models for the divorcing family” (pg. 534). However, the most important thing to do is to keep a positive
The major portion of the 1.5 million children in the United States whose parents divorce every year feel as if their world is being shattered. Many families are torn apart each year due to divorce. When children realize that their parents are not going to work out together, it is heartbreaking. It is a proven fact that the younger children are when parents get divorced, the worse the affects are. When children are involved in a divorce, it not only affects them emotionally and physically, but they are also affected socially; and they feel like a social outcast. Many may think that divorce is horrific on children, but it is much worse than most would think. Some parents are so worried for their children’s welfare that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing that it will protect the child from the trauma of divorce. After children are affected by divorce, they will always feel as if it was somehow their fault. Out of all of the things that happen in divorce, someone has to get sole custody of the children involved. In often times, that is the hardest part for
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
At the young age of ten, I was faced with a situation that has had one of the largest influences in who I am today. My parents’ divorce has and still currently plays a role in my life that has affected my drive for motivation bringing diverse perspectives. At such a young age, I was filled with such remorse, discouragement, and fear. My educational abilities were collapsing, along with some of my common social activities. I was absent-minded due to my adolescent understanding and confusion of the situation. I became emotionally depleted coming eye to eye with what I was promised would never happen. My personal connections with my family gradually became diminished, from what I kept so valuable. I was placed in a situation that tore apart my contentment, arrogance, and self motivation. It wasn’t until years later, I took my position as a chance to transform my bleakness into a strong desire for greatness.
Young children whose parents go through a divorce often have different reactions than other members of the family. Seeing their parents...
Growing up in a divorced family was the beginning of the development of my need to be a strong individual. My mother had to work many jobs to support myself and my brother. This left the two of us alone and together most of our childhood. While I know that my brother truly loved me, sometimes a teenage boy does not show a small girl the compassion that she requires. I had to frequently take care of myself while my brother was finding more important things to occupy his time with.