Amaze Me

I see you walking through town with your precious smile and your face that still shines way too much to be human, I can see your eyes shinning in the sun's light. I just don't understand how you can be so happy after everything that happened. I just can't understand how your eyes can shine so bright after all the hurt that you had to suffer. After all the hurt that we caused to each other. I guess i'm the only one so deeply hurt in the end. I thought that I saw hurt in your eyes the night everything went down, I thought I saw tears shinning on your cheeks, but it probably was a on the moment thing, not like me, who did all the same things, but still is a whole year after, as heartbroken as I was the night you walked out of our house for what I think will be forever.

I thought that we promised to love each other no matter what, I thought that we promised to stand there and be there for the other in the times of need, I thought that we promised infront of god to love each other, always. But you gave up on us didn't you? This is why you're so far away and truly happy at this moment? Didn't you learn over the course of our days spent together that it won't be as bright as we wish it to be each days of our shared life, but at the end of the day, what matters is the one you go to sleep beside, the one that no matter how pissed you are at, you still curl up to at night because he is the only one giving you closure. The one that no matter what they do to you that you happen to don't like with strangers, you adore it when it's them. Like you Dan. I remember how when we first started you couldn't stop telling me how much you hate people touching your neck, at first, I couldn't even touch your neck to bring you closer to me while we were k...

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... chance to fix everything, we have a chance to be together for real now, without any secrets to the world or without any contraints, we have a chance to be us in love, and to me nothing else matters more. Well the fact that you still thought of me after all of that time does, but I can't let you know that, not yet, I already lost you for so long that I can't pick a chance to loose you again. Not after loosing you because I wanted us to seem real. I wanted us to be real to our fans. They already suspected that we were a thing anyway. I thought you would be happy that I wanted to show the diamond I found to the world. But you left that night, you took my ring and you left me. You never came back before that day in town, the day you putted the pieces to my life back together.

Still to this day as I look at you peacefuly living your life by my side, you still amaze me.