Dear Jen, At the moment, I am sitting here thinking of you and everything that we have been through. I would say that I have no idea how we have made it this far, if I did not believe in there being one person that you are destined to be with, but I do. We have had our share of ups and downs, plus so much more. Things have happened to us that we can truly say no one else has had to go through, but regardless we made it through. When we first met I did not know how to trust anymore. The spirit of life had been taken from me, but somehow you helped me find it again. At the time we met, I was going through some hard times, but when others turned their backs on me, you stood by my side. You were determined to be there for me and for that I thank God every day that he sent you to me. If I would have known that when I told about my past you would be there to help me through it, then I would have told you a long time ago. I know that I start things between us a lot of the time, but even you know why. You know that it took a lot for me to trust you, but now I do. I am so happy that you are still here with me, being patient, and still by my side. So many people say that I will not make it far in life, but they do not understand me, let alone know me. So many of those people do not know how hard you push me to make something of myself. In the past, I honestly believed that I would not make it anywhere, but now I know that as long as I am happy and still alive, with you by my side I am doing great and can achieve anything. Every day that I wake up and every night before I fall asleep, I thank God that we met, because without you I would be nothing. Through the hard times you have held my hand, through the rough times you have held me close to you, and through the ups and downs you have stayed by my side. What else could I ask for? When I am sick you tuck me in. You have brought back the person that everyone loved and have helped me learn to be the person I always wanted and knew I could be.
I remember the day when we met each other You came riding into Thebes as a hero for riding the land of the sphynx. Above the crowd I stood atop my balcony watching the gathering crowd. Our eyes had met and I knew that you were the one to fill the hole in my heart. Immediately we had connected and I knew that you were the one for me. The gods had blessed me with another husband that was genuinely kind and wise.
May the love you express to each other today, always be the first thoughts during any trying times in the future.
I am proud and grateful to call you one of my closest friends. In English we were instructed to write an essay on someone that has had an impact on our life. Trevor wrote about Greg, others wrote about their parents and I wrote about you. I would give this to you, but it is horrible writing. I did call you laudable though, so I think that makes up for it. So for the first of many thank you’s in this letter, thank you for never giving up on me, especially when everyone else had.
Even though our team, “The Stingers”, eventually changed to “The Velocity”, one girl, Christina, was always there for me and continues to be by my side today. Through playing on the same soccer team for nine seasons, we developed a bond that will not easily be broken. We can look at each other and just start laughing for no reason. I know all of her drama and she knows mine. Our mutual trust that was developed on the soccer field has branched into every aspect of our lives. I know I can turn to her at any moment and she will quit whatever she is doing and come to my rescue. Likewise, she knows I will always be there to help her through any situation, no matter how difficult it may be. Recently, when Christina received the heart wrenching news that her mom has breast cancer, I stood right by her side to help her through it. She was able to lean on me for support when it was too overwhelming for her to handle on her own. When she needed to get away from the stresses of her mom’s health, we would hang out and just talk for hours on end. Similarly, when my relationship with a mutual friend was struggling, Christina was there to help me get through it. She encouraged me to stay strong and continue to treat our friend with respect even though she neglected me and our decade of friendship.
Today as I have sat here and listened to every last word that you have said I see the amount of damage I have caused you. I promised you so many things and look how many I gave you if I could go back in time and start from scratch I would start with making sure that I drove to see you no matter how much it would have upset my family. There were times that I thought you understood where I was coming from but it is clear to me now that I have broke you down more than I would ever want to imagine. You say that you love me and you care about me more than you have for anyone you say that I changed your life. Only if you realized how much you have changed mine you have made me love myself and be proud of who I am still to this day though we have had some pretty rough times you hold me up.
I felt invincible, free, and loved as long as you had my hand grasped in mine. Not only did you make me feel safe and loved, yet you also made me feel intelligent and brave. I will never forget the numerous times you drove 3 hours to our house so you could help me with my studies for all those difficult math tests. One of those times, particularly stands out to me. It was two days before my first statistics final and I called you on the phone to see if you could study with me over some statistics material I was struggling with.
...here are only eight people who have my full trust---my girlfriend, my father, my brother, my girlfriend’s parents, and of three my high school friends. Life has taught me a lot. I hope that some of the hardships I have faced will not come back to haunt me in the future. I hope that no one has to go through what I have gone through. If they do, I hope they handle it as well as, if not better than, I did. Most importantly, I know that God has been with me through it all and has given me a chance to have an incredible life with the girl I love.
I met her in the autumn right after she had taken a terrible fall going to her mailbox and I was hired by her family as an in home aide. Her name was Jane* and she became a fast friend and provided me with never to be forgotten lessons that cant be taught within the walls of a school. Jane took the time to prove to me that I was worth loving and showed me unconditional love that at the time I couldn’t find. In the end all I have left are a few cherished memories, a pearl necklace, and some of the best lessons in life.
...to my dream school, and I have a boyfriend who treats me so well. He wants me to be happy and does everything he can to ensure that. He is driving up to Ithaca on Christmas Eve just so he can see me on Christmas Day. While I still miss you, I am happy with the way my life in Lenox went and I am happy with my life at Brown. I have been so lucky to have so many good people around me to help me first smile and then trust again. For a long time I felt really guilty about being happy with my life in Lenox. I felt as though being glad to be in Lenox was in some way also celebrating your death. I think, though, you wouldn't have wanted your death to be the end of my life. And it hasn't. What I went through to get here wasn't great but I don't think that I would want to change it because in the end the bad experiences are so outnumbered by the good ones.
I love you and only you and want you and only you. I could never have imagined or wished for such a blessing. When it comes to you and me being together and how lucky we are to be in love, I smile and my heart skips a beat.
With each passing moment, my heart seems to yearn for our reunion with even greater ardor, despite my prior belief that my love for you had already reached the zenith of human emotion. Over the course of our long and painful separation, I have experienced and endured more than I ever thought I would within the vicinity of my time on this earth, and have been forced to drastically revise my interpretations of both pure bliss and anguish.
Anna and I spent many evenings doing her homework together for the two English classes she decided to take. One of her first writing assignments was to write a two page paper on who her hero was. She asked me to read her paper to make sure that there were no grammatical or punctuation errors and as I was reading her paper tear welled up in my eyes. She wrote that her hero was me. How my unselfishness to have a complete stranger stay in my home and to allow this stranger to have the same luxuries and experiences that I get in my everyday life was something she had never experienced before. She was grateful that I had "chose" her as a student to stay in my home and that she was very blessed to have someone who cared so much.
The first time I met him my heart felt as though I had met him before. There are no words that can clearly articulate the connection. It was a magnetic energy, an intuitive knowing and everything felt right. There was no matter of space or time but we had found our way to each other, there was an instant feeling of security, he fit so perfectly into my life it was as if somehow he had been there all along. He was someone that I couldn't imagine being without.
Seven years have passed since our first encounter and in those past seven years, we have made many memories and parted ways several times. Whenever we parted ways, we were led back to each other as if there was a spark between us. Ever since you entered my life I felt as if God somehow sent one of his angels down to me. Over the last few months, I feel like my heart has grown stronger because of the love I have for you. This love gets stronger and stronger each and every day.
When I got to know you better a year later I realized I wasn't alone and that something inside of you was what constantly brought tears to my own eyes. I went through a time in my life where I felt worthless and unloved and I continuously searched for happiness. I wasn't getting along with my family, and my friends were all hating each other, leaving me in the middle, stressfully trying to pull things together. You made me laugh and forget everything that was going on. That year you became my escape, my survival. I don't think I could have made it through as strong as I did if it weren't for you.