My Son The Marine Poem Analysis

“My Son the Marine?” was written by John and Frank Schaeffer in 2002. This story was written in the 1st person. It focuses on the struggle a father is having about his son joining the military. “Separating” was written by John Updike in 1972 and is written in the 3rd person. It is about a family going through a divorce and focuses on the emotional toll towards the children during the separation. “Those Winter Sundays” was written in 1966 by Robert Hayden. Written in the 1st person, the focus of this poem is to show the regret of a young boy who never showed the appreciation that his father deserved. All of these stories appeal to “The things They Carry” because of the emotional aspect. In all these stories there are signs of guilt, confusion, and regret.

“But he did not fail. Three months after John had left us, Genie and I went down to Parris Island for his graduation” (Schaeffer 600). John’s father did not think his son was capable of being a Marine nor did he anticipate him graduating. After finding out that he was wrong, there was a sense of shock and guilt. It seemed as though he felt bad for thinking his son couldn’t accomplish the

task at hand. However, he did turn his guilt into pride for his son knowing that he will be defending his country. The appeal to “The Things We Carry” is in the concept of guilt. Lieutenant Cross felt guilty of Ted Lavender’s death much like the guilt Frank had towards his son.
“Richard bent to kiss an averted face but his son, sinewy, turned and with wet cheeks embraced him and gave him a kiss, on the lips, passionate as a woman’s” (Updike 416). Dickie was confused and was unsure of how to handle emotions with the divorce. Without thought, he kissed his father and then asked “Why?” He wanted an explanation but even his father couldn’t find the words for why the family was splitting. This is very similar to how Lieutenant Cross handles his emotions towards Martha. He is clearly in love with her but isn’t quite sure how to handle it. Dickie acted out with a frantic kiss while Jimmy acts out by day dreaming and role playing in his head.
Regret can be a hard hitting emotion. There is always the question of what could have been done differently. Robert says “What did I know, what did I know of love’s austere and lonely offices (Hayden 36)?” Robert regrets having never thanked his father for the things he’s done and sacrifices he’s made. He realizes now that he’s older how much his father did for him and he never showed him the gratitude. This can be related to Lieutenant Cross for a number of reasons. Lieutenant Cross regrets never telling Martha how he felt before he was deployed. He regrets never making his move and has risked losing her in the process. He also burdens the regret of allowing Ted Lavender to die. He feels responsible with being the one in charge. Kiowa even mentions how much hurt Lieutenant Cross is in after Lavender’s death. “Kiowa admired his grief (O’Brien 526).”
All of these works can relate to “The Things They Carry” on an emotional level.

“My Son the Marine?” appeals to the feeling of guilt with Frank thinking his son isn’t capable of being a Marine and Lieutenant Cross carries the guilt of letting his comrade die. In Updike’s “Separating” there is the similarity of confusion with Dickie and Lieutenant Cross. Neither of them know what to do with the emotions flowing within themselves. Dickie cannot comprehend the divorce of his parents while Lieutenant Cross is lost for words when it comes to Martha. Lastly, “Those Winter Sundays” relates to the feeling of regret. Both Robert and Lieutenant Cross think “What should’ve I done?” Cross thinks that he could’ve prevented Lavender’s death and Hayden wishes that he could go back and give his father the thanks he

deserves.