My Best Friend Died

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My Best Friend Died

Dr. Munter's comments: The purpose of this assignment was to relate an event that changed the direction of your life. Not only does this student successfully accomplish this task, he does it with a certain amount of understatement. The instruction “to show, not tell” is beautifully and subtly completed. There is also a nice balance of long and short sentences, unusual similes, and the sense that the author allows the reader to view this event through the eyes of an eight-year-old. Overall, the writing is clean, simple in technique, yet powerful in its message.

I remember the van. It was the gray of dry clay, and it had maroon stripes on the sides that were the same color as maple leaves during the fall, but it was winter now. It was my mom's van, and I was riding in the back seat. I was eight years old, and she had pulled over on the side of the road because she had “some sad news” to tell me. My legs didn’t touch the ground. They just dangled with my sorrels about to fall off. I was all bundled up in the puffy winter clothes that mothers dress their chi...

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