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An essay on the importance of father-son relationship
Parents influence on child
Parents influence on child
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Chaim Potok’s The Chosen explores two father son relationships, one between the Malters and one between the Saunders. In the final chapter of the book, Danny and Reb Saunders finally come to an understanding of each other, but not without the help of Reuven. Although they are a strong family, the Saunders need an outside force to help them communicate and solve Danny’s problems overall. The last chapter covers the need for suffering and pain and shows how Danny grows with Reuven’s help.
Despite the conflict of intellect versus religion for him, Danny assumes that his father’s harsh upbringing is not in a cruel way, but is a part of his training as tzaddik. In the end of the book, Reb Saunders eventually confesses his reasons for forcing silence into Danny’s childhood. Instead of using it as a way to distance himself from his son and show a lack of love, Reb Saunders explains that his silence had intentions of Danny becoming empathetic and merciful.
“[My father] taught me with silence. He taught me to look inside myself, to find my own strength, to walk around inside myself in company with my soul. When his people would ask why he was so silent with his son, he would say to them that he did not like to talk, words are cruel, words play tricks, they distort what is in the heart, they conceal the heart, the heart speaks through silence” (284).
He also refers to how his father raised him in silence to show the strength that silence imposed on their family. A tzaddik has to take on the pain and suffering of his people and silence was used as a heuristic device so that Danny learned how to handle hardship:
“One learns of the pain of others by suffering one’s own pain, he would say, by turning inside oneself, by finding one’s...
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...ould lead to a greater outcome in hopes that the ends would justify the means. The hope that his son would be a good person rather than an intelligent one with no soul pushed him to be harsh and cruel but overall, left his son with empathy, strength, a relationship with his father, and a connection with God and the world around him.
In the final chapter, after Reb Saunders is finished talking to Reuven, he turns to his son. For the first time outside of services, Reb Saunders speaks to his son directly, without Reuven’s help. This is a big moment for their relationship and is a turning point where Danny sees that his father is making an effort at finally communicating with him. He also sees that his father finally knows that he is a good and empathetic person and is willing to trust him to go out in the world with inner strength and the knowledge of suffering.
In the book The Chosen the four main characters have different views on how children should be raised. Danny Saunders was said to be raised in silence. Danny was raised in silence in that communication was cut off between Danny and his father, except when they were studying Talmud. The reason Danny’s father did not speak to his son is because Rabbi Saunders wanted to have Danny think things through himself. Reb Saunders also wanted Danny to grow up in the same manner he himself was raised.
During the final conversation between Reb Saunders, Danny, and Reuven, Reb Saunders defends his method of raising Danny by noting that, “...I did not want my Daniel to become like my brother...Better I should have no son at all than have a brilliant son with no soul” (285). Reb Saunders assumes that if Danny were raised in silence, then he would obtain a soul unlike Reb Saunders’ brother who did not have one. Reb Saunders raises Danny in isolation due to his assumption that having intellect without a soul would make a person indifferent and uncaring. By only wanting what he presumes is most beneficial for Danny, Reb Saunders forms a barrier between him and a meaningful relationship with Danny. This approach of bringing up a child is the only one that Reb Saunders has previous knowledge and he realizes that, “..a wiser father... may have done differently. I am not... wise” (288). Once Reb Saunders understands the consequences of his irrational decision, it is too late to make amends. Silence strains their relationship and forces both Danny and Reb Saunders to become depressed and miserable. Despite raising Danny with good intentions, Reb Saunders feels remorse for not establishing an affectionate relationship with his son while he still had the chance. Furthermore, Reb Saunders yearns for Danny to become a tzaddik and tries fulfills his desire through restrained communication between his son. If Reb Saunders had created a lasting relationship with Danny then the same hope could have been achieved. For Danny to become a tzaddik without feeling compassion during his lifetime is difficult to demand. It may have been possible for Danny to develop the traits that his father requires of him if he was raised in a nurturing environment. Overall, Reb Saunders’ rationalization of his parenting technique is rendered useless as he comprehends what an ill-advised approach it
Intriguing with sapphire eyes, a face chiseled out of stone, and golden ear locks stands Danny Saunders. In Chaim Potok’s book The Chosen Danny Saunders is a dynamic character. Son of Reb Saunders, a tzaddik, Danny lives a life infused with the Talmud. He studies and Talmud by heart but longs to study beyond religious manuscripts. The reading of non-religious books in Danny’s sect earns social rejection¬¬¬, but Danny yearned to study more and did so. Danny Saunders possesses a brilliant mind, a theological understanding, and an inquisitive sprit.
A silence exists between Reuven and Danny’s fathers as they never actually speak to each other, instead Reuven acts as the middleman between them. Reb Saunder’s gut reaction upon hearing David Malter’s speech on Zionism is to split Danny and Reuven like an atom, and a nuclear reaction occurs. Reuven wants to get into fights and scream at the anti-Zionists, and after his father’s heart attack Reuven has no one. “For the first few days the total silence inside the hospital was impossible for me to take….my schoolwork began to suffer.” (243) In his lonely apartment he labors studying the Talmud hoping one day that Rav Garshenson will call upon him in class to exhibit his knowledge and break the silence. Even Reuven’s father is silent when asked about the reasoning between the silence between Reb and Danny. Showing his dislike towards Reb, Reuven gives Reb the silent treatment by repeatedly declining invitations come over on the Shabbat. Silence is an unimaginable concept to Reuven, but it becomes a reality when only his thoughts accompany him due to the absence of his father and best
As the story evolves, Danny and Reuven become very good friends. This is a highlight for Danny, given that he has never had a close friend before Reuven. Danny has lived a very lonely life. He has not had any friends because he feels that no understands him. Reuven's father realizes Danny's loneliness, and gives Reuven some fatherly advice. He comments, "Reb Saunders' son is a terribly torn and lonely boy. There is literally no one in the world he can talk to. He needs a friend." (pg. 110) David Malter continues by saying, "The accident with the baseball has bound him to you and he has already sensed in you someone he can talk to without fear. I am very proud of you for that." (pg. 110) Reuven's father expresses his confidence to his son very openly which is an important aspect in comparing with Danny and his father's relationship.
The novel The Chosen is a story of two Jewish boys who become friends and go through lots of hard times together. The book starts out at a baseball game, one boy on one team and one boy on the other team. The game quickly turns more into a war rather than a game. Reuven was pitching when Danny came up to bat, Reuven threw the ball and Danny hit the ball straight back at him. The ball hit Reuven in the eye, shattered his glasses, and got a piece of glass in his eye. Reuven was taken to the hospital where doctors fixed his eye and he stayed there for five days.
Danny thought that if he told his father he would of start to see Danny less of a man because his father thought this was only a female problem.
In The Chosen, silence plays an important aspect in the characters lives. Reb Saunders forced silence and suffering upon his son Danny by not talking to him about anything other than his studies. He says he does this because he feels that Danny is so brilliant that he might not understand the suffering of others. Reb Saunders feels that silence is suffering by imposing non-communication, however, silence is really how Reuven, Danny, David Malter, and Reb Saunders communicate with each other and the world around them.
In the novel “The Chosen” by Chaim Potok, the story talks about a strong relationship between two friends. In the novel Potok also shows that the change in motives was what the main characters used to build up and make new connections. Reuven Malter, also known as a protagonist in the story, experiences many motives that led to changes, and how it affected him as the novel comes to an end. Making friends and communicating was a huge deal for Reuven and Danny. Each of them had to learn how to do those things to see how it would impact their future. The author shows a motive for each of the characters, and that the quote Ben Jonson said “True happiness consists not in multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice”, can be consider as the theme for the book.
It is easy to place the blame on fate or God when one is encumbered by suffering. It is much harder to find meaning in that pain, and harvest it into motivation to move forward and grow from the grief. It is imperative for one to understand one’s suffering as a gateway to new wisdom and development; for without suffering, people cannot find true value in happiness nor can they find actual meaning to their lives. In both Antigone and The Holy Bible there are a plethora of instances that give light to the quintessential role suffering plays in defining life across cultures. The Holy Bible and Sophocles’ Antigone both mirror the dichotomous reality in which society is situated, underlining the necessity of both joy and suffering in the world.
The way in which Reb Saunders and David Malter raise their children reflect the conflict between tradition and modernity in this story. David Malter raises Reuven with a modern approach. He encourages Reuven to learn about the modern world as well as hold on to his religion. Reb Saunders to shelter Danny from modern ideas. With the exception of teaching Danny about the Talmud, he raises Danny in silence. He has his own reasons for raising Danny this way. “I did not want to drive him away from God, but I did not want him to grow up a mind without a soul” (Page 266). Reb Saunders raises his son through a tradition that has been in his family for a long time. However, he accomplishes his goal. His method of raising his son is dramatically different from David Malter’s modern practice. The results are also different. Danny has gone through much more pain and suffering than Reuven, and he chooses to carry on this practice if he must. Modernity and tradition present in the different ideas of these men influences the lives and ideas of their children as well.
In the matter where they are the same, both Danny and Reuven learn lots from their father and have their religious viewpoints learned from their father. For Danny, he comes from a long line of Hassidic rabbis which most likely led to his upbringing as a Hassidic Jew too. Danny learned his religious stance from his father just as how Reuven learned about his religious viewpoint as a Zionist from his father. When Reuven is excommunicated from speaking with Danny and their family, Reuven grows even more closely to his father and truly takes the initiative to push for the Jewish homeland, just like how Danny obeys his father’s commands and stays out from helping the creation. While Danny and Reuven are similar in the sense that they learn of their Jewish traditions from their father, they are also different in the sense that they were brought up differently. Danny is brought up in silence, as Reb Saunders believes in “speaking through silence.” Danny’s father doesn’t talk to Danny four years. Reb speaks through his wife and Reuven or other people too. Reb Saunders explains why he decided to do this when he is speaking to Reuven and Danny towards the end of the
Author's Philosophy " After a short time silence, he stood up and told me that
...distractions. Taking time to observe and analyze the silence can bring something to the surface that could never be confronted in any other way. We need to embrace silence presented throughout life, for we will come out with more definitive, powerful voices.
"There is much pain that is quite noiseless; and that make human agonies are often a mere whisper in the of hurrying existence. There are glances of hatred that stab and raise no cry of murder; robberies that leave man of woman for ever beggared of peace and joy, yet kept secret by the sufferer-committed to no sound except that of low moans in the night, seen in no writing except that made on the face by the slow months of suppressed anguish and early morning tears. Many an inherited sorrow that has marred a life has been breathed into no human ear." George Eliot (1819-80), English novelist,editor. Felis Holt, the Radical, Introduction (1866).What is pain? In the American Heritage Dictionary, pain is referred to as "an unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder." The word is rooted in Middle English, from an Old French piene, from Latin poena, meaning "penalty or pain", and from Greek pointe, meaning "penalty." Pain is a very realistic problem that many individuals face daily.