Analysis Of Richard Dorment´s Why Men Still Can T Have It All

The inability to achieve “work-life balance” has become a major focus for workplace equality activists. When this topic is brought about it is primarily used to describe how woman cannot have a work and home life but instead are forced to choose. Richard Dorment took on this point of interest from a different perspective in his article “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All” published with esquire. Going against the normal trend he describes how women are not the only ones put into the same sacrificial situations, but instead that men and women alike struggle to balance work and home. Dorment opens up by saying “And the truth is as shocking as it is obvious: No one can have it all.” In doing so Richard Dorment throws out the notion that one

side has it better than the other, and instead states that the issue takes a toll on everyone in similar ways. He goes to tell how the sense of equality must be met by splitting responsibilities 50-50 so that the work load at home is not left to only one person. Addressing the argument that women have to work two jobs, one outside the home and one inside the home Dorment describes how a study found that men do tend to spend more time at work then at home compared to women. However, when you add up the time men spend at work rather than at home and the time women spend at home, but not at work it all ends up adding up to being equivalent. Dorment tells how the different times at home are dependent on how a person defines sacrifice. Typically, when it comes to giving up some time at home for work related projects or trips men see this as a necessary sacrifice for the good of their family, while women are much less likely to sacrifice family time for work activities according to recent studies. Richard Dorment writes “Fight for it don’t fight for it- it’s entirely up to the individual. But don’t complain that you never had a choice.” The choices one makes to sustain their preferred “work-life balance” is entirely up to the individual and is not controlled by opportunities or others. Dorment believes that women choosing to work less or having less desire for leadership roles is their own personal decision, and is not necessarily the result of inequality.
In my view the “work-life balance” and achievement decisions made by women are not controlled by sexism or inequality.

Instead these life decisions are primarily influenced by an individual’s personal limits, beliefs, and morals. Though sexism and pay discrimination still exist there are so many regulations and penalties in place that such behavior has become very uncommon. Dorment creates a new scene where he asks women to not only take on the same sacrifices men past and present have all while realizing that men are doing the best that they can. I believe that this scenario created is key to realizing that women can only take on leadership roles or progress in their careers if they are willing to make sacrifices. They can’t expect special treatment or think that being successful doesn’t come with downsides when the thing they are fighting for is equality. According to the Pew Research Center 60 percent of two parent homes with children younger than eighteen consist of dual-earning couples. This study explicitly shows how men are no longer the sole provider, but instead that women are taking on careers while giving up the stay at home role. In addition, despite men typically spending a little less time at home than women it is become increasingly normal for the home work load to be more evenly divided in dual-earning households. As Richard Dorment mentions, this raises the question “Why does the achievement gap still exist?” Men and Women are increasingly splitting the home work load between each other yet men still appear to be achieving more in the workplace than women. Though the opportunities available to each are the same it is the personal motivation and limits that are resulting in the gap. Women value family time over work time greatly while men are much more willing to sacrifice personal time for work because they feel it is for the good of their family. The difference in personal importance is one factor that contributes to the gap and

ultimately only adjusted if women take on the challenge of sacrificing and self motivating. Though this is an issue I do agree with Dorment that there are some ways that women could be helped out with family matters in the early stages. One such being paid paternity leave so that men can be at home to help their wives without having to worry about providing for the family during his time away from work. If such a thing came to be it not only sets the importance of early child care in the workplace as equal and not only pertaining to the mothers but helps control the balance of home life.
Equality for women and feminism overall is an ever changing movement in the workplace. Regarding feminism Dorment writes “In the end, isn’t this what feminism was supposed to be about?...to give each of us, men and women. Access to the same array of choices and the ability to choose for ourselves.” Feminism has stayed away from its original definition given by Dorment but has instead become defined as blaming men and society for women’s problems with equality. Writers such as Anne-Marie Slaughter take this route involving the workplace rather than addressing the real issue mentioned by Richard Dorment, that some women are unwilling to sacrifice family time for career success. Equality in career opportunities and education for such careers in increasing everyday with women even outnumbering men in some fields. The opportunity gap shrinks everyday thanks to this but no matter how many opportunities come to be achieving success is up to the individual. Choosing to focus more on home life rather than advancing in a career is not necessarily a negative thing, but in doing such it creates the picture that women are less successful in climbing the occupational ladder. The differing degrees of sacrifice generally determine career success and if someone is unwilling to make certain career sacrificing than changing jobs is always an option. However, blaming men for this unwillingness by saying they do not do their equal share of work at home is unfair. More studies and surveys show men making more sacrifices for their family all while also showing increased home responsibility resulting in practically a 50-50 split in work at home. If an individual faces unacceptable sacrifices then an alternate option may be of best interest. What is most important is to realize that both women and men make similar sacrifices everyday. Blaming the opposing gender for one groups problems is unacceptable because at the end of they day we are all equals.