Sariah Durrant
How Can You Ever Trust Anyone?
An Autobiographical Narrative
I felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest and my lungs were shredded into ribbons. I stared in shock at the tiny little pathetic screen of my cell phone that delivered the message that changed my life forever. I suppose that I always knew what would happen. Humans can’t be trusted, no matter what they tell you or how they act. They always smile and lie through their teeth, then they turn around and stab you in the back. You think that people could change or that they’re different and they won’t hurt you, but you’re wrong. No matter how hard you try, every single person on this planet can hurt you. And there’s nothing you can do to prevent it.
In all actuality, I had begun to believe what I was being told and what I so ignorantly thought myself. It had all begun back at Eighth Grade Graduation. Well, to be honest, everything started in seventh grade when I finally let my guard down and let my heart be taken by some intriguing stranger. I was a little more than casually interested in this young and foolish boy and I now understand that that is a mistake that I will never make again. Any and all of my affections were taken and crushed into the ground by a rude, snotty teenager whom should not be trusted. There is one single thing that I’ve learned is true about any and every single person I meet. They all lie. They tell you that they’ll be there for you, or be your friend, or never abandon you. It’s disgusting, all those filthy, horrible deceptions, not a word that any of them say is true. It’s all nice and exciting when you think you’ve finally met the one person who would “never do that to you”, but that makes it all the worse when they...
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... that through this experience, that there are people who are truly there for you and they will stay and help you through your trials. Some people believe that you need lots of friends to feel loved, but I have found that I only need one friend to appreciate the beauty of friendship and wonderful complexity of life. I learned that one word, one smile, just one person can change your entire outlook on life. You truly only need one friend to get you through all of your troubles. The joy that you can find in one simple friendship is absolutely astonishing. The best thing about this experience is the very fact that I will always remember this throughout my entire life and it can be applied to so many things that will most likely happen. I will always remember that only one person, one simple person can make the single most important difference in this entire universe.
In order to live a full, "wholehearted" life, we need to gain a better understanding of the true nature of vulnerability. Millions of children have been introduced to vulnerability by author J. D. Salinger. Salinger was vulnerable to rejection, criticism, failing. His novel, I’m sure you know it, “The Catcher in the Rye” was rejected 15 times. One editor tossed it aside as juvenile. Perhaps you remember the book’s last lines: “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you’ll start missing everybody.” Sure Holden Caulfield put up a tough front but the character created by Salinger is endearing and enduring even to this day – in large part because of his vulnerability. So if we want joy, love, and empathy in our lives, we need to let vulnerability into our hea...
...a half years ago, I figured that compared to most people, I was fairly aware. Since then, the most important thing I’ve learned is how much I don’t know. I don’t know what it is like to go to class and be the only dark spot on white linen. I don’t know what it is like to have to fight mentally, physically, and spiritually to preserve a cultural identity. I don’t know what it is like to fear running at night. I don’t know what it is like to be feared if I run at night. I don’t know what it is like to live under a shroud of stereotypes. I don’t know what it is like to have people who instruct me subtly ignore me and people who sit next to me subtly avoid me.
... child no matter what. I feel like this story has helped me to be open-minded to the various situations that people may face and to not make assumptions. I also feel somewhat prepared for the situations that I may face in the field of social work as I continue to unpack my baggage.
People look at you like you’re the one to blame. They see your tattered sneakers and tangled, greasy hair, and they think they know you. But how could they? You amble down the sidewalk, keep your head down, your eyes averted. You don’t want any trouble. People are quick to assume that's what you're looking for. Your lips are chapped and your face is dirty. You cannot remember the last time you brushed your teeth, let alone took a shower. The thought makes you laugh almost as much as the thought of your old bedroom walls, the shadows cast by the ceiling fan as you stared up from your bed. You had to leave home. It was taken from you. The adults in your life shifted as you grew older, or perhaps you just grew aware. They took pills or tipped glasses or screamed at you for no particular reason. They kicked you out when you got pregnant, when you got mouthy, when you weren't all they wanted you to be. They got sadistic. They crossed unspeakable lines. You had to leave home. You are barely more than a child. At least, you were before. Now, you are homeless.
It was a chilly winter evening when it happened. I was preparing tea in the kitchen when I heard that irresistible sound of a Facebook notification. It was from a group called “WORD FIGHTER”— those kinds of groups where rookies with a very limited sense of rhymes and poetry judge themselves as poets and act as though they are Keats or Wordsworth. On a normal evening, I wouldn’t have dared to enter that group, but it was the dullest evening of my life so I checked it out anyway. There was a crappy poem from my friend Angela moaning about how her boyfriend dumped her and how love hurts so no one should ever fall in love and other depressing rubbish; I was just about to exit from ...
Every so often we come face to face with life events that have lasting effects. When faced with
“We fight each other for territory; we kill each other over race, pride, and respect. We fight for what is ours. They think they’re winning by jumping me now, but soon they’re all going down, war has been declared.” Abuse, Pain, Violence, Racism and Hate fill the streets of Long Beach, California. Asians, Blacks, Whites and Hispanics filled Wilson High School; these students from different ethnic backgrounds faced gang problems from day to night. This movie contains five messages: people shouldn’t be judgmental because being open-minded allows people to know others, having compassion for a person can help people change their views in life, being a racist can only create hate, having the power of the human will/goodness to benefit humanity will cause a person to succeed at any cost and becoming educated helps bring out the intelligence of people.
When I was in sixth grade, I met a really cool girl named Lilly and started to be her friend. As time went on, she started telling me unrealistic thing about herself, and she claimed they were true. For example, one day Lily came up to me and said, "Hey Haylee, can I tell you something?" So I agreed to listened to what she had to say and she replied saying, "I am secretly a mermaid and a vampire. I know you probably won't believe me, but it's true." I was shocked that she had told me that, and I knew it wasn't true so I asked for proof. Every time I would ask, she would make up some excuse of why she couldn't show me at that time; one time, she told me that she could only turn into a mermaid in salt water at the beach. I knew this wasn't true because I had gone to the beach before and she was definitely human the whole time. She lied so much that I thought that I would never meet anyone as unreliable as Lily until I read, "Tell Tale Heart" and "Zoo". The characters in these stories were unreliable because when they would tell things from their points of view, t...
Everyone has uncertainly about who to trust, when to trust, and how much to trust. On a daily base we choose whom we trust and whom we don't trust or how much we trust that person. At some points we trust more than we normally would. That's a good thing according to psychologist. “A total lack of mistrust would indicate a serious psychological problem. Judgments about when and whom to trust help keep us safe and alive!”("Find the Right Therapist." Trust Issues: How to Get Over Them in Relationships, Marriage, and Life. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 May 2014). Being mistrusted is a response to being abandoned or betrayed by someone you cared about. “Trust is the foundation for intimate, secure and successful relationships. It must be earned and maintained. But what happens when your trust is violated?”("How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal." Women's Health Issues. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 May 2014.) Beginning of a relationship seems always to be a perfect and fairytale time. You have trust in each other and everything is amazing, but what will happen if one of them messes up? Do you forgive and forget, or do you start developing trust issues? Many relationships start having problems because they start loosing trust in each other and this leads to break ups or even worse divorce. Trust should be earned, but if you loose someone’s trust it is very difficult to earn it back.
I remember the day well. There was a disturbance of some sort in the house of which I had taken part. I am not sure whether I was the malefactor or was the beneficiary, probably a quarrel with my brothers, but I do remember what happened thereafter. After my rebuke, I walked through the back door and proceeded to the garage. In those days, and even now, the garage was not meant for cars but for storage, so there were boxes upon boxes of stored junk. Upon entering, I moved a few boxes away, found a familiar hole where my brothers and I used to go and hide, bellied myself on the dusty flour, and crawled about three and one half feet under stored chairs and one desk to my destination—a hidden spot in the far corner of garage. None would find me there! Immediately I began to cry. “No one loves me!” and “Everybody hates me!” were the phrases that I would say. Tears flowing, I would condemn the world for its hatred and console myself with the words I knew too well, “It’s okay. You can survive though no one understands you.” How hopeless words can console is a mystery—but truth switches places with lies when you’re deceived.
One day I was going through my deleted voicemails when I found one from my grandmother that she had left me during the first week of school. In this voicemail she said, “Hi Miss Maggie, I was wondering how your first week is going? I heard you are having a tough time, just remember the hardest times often lead you to some of the greatest moments. I love you call me back later.” I lost that voicemail when my old phone broke, but I often found myself listening back to that. I know she probably wasn’t the first person to ever say that, but having those words come from her in that point of my life really changed my perspective on
...hing. I'm not going to say that what I learned is true or not. I am just expressing what I learned. I told you something. It was solely for you and you wasted no time telling everyone. This led me to the realization that I should just cut out the “middle man” because everyone will find out anyways. People can't turn around and tell everybody, because everybody already knows, I told them. Unfortunately this means that there isn't a place in my life for you or somebody like you. Is it sad? Of course. But this is a sadness that I chose. It’s easier to cope with loneliness than betrayal. Sometimes I truly wish that I could say that this was a story about how I got on the bus a boy and got off a man more masculine, hardened, and mature. But that's not the truth. The truth is that I got on that yellow four-wheeled machine a boy. And I never got off of it. I still haven't.
that there are others in this world who are not so wealthy as you and who are in need of
I think about how I overcame situations of hate or high tensions with my friends and family and how well I have been able to get my points across. I am naturally a feisty gal at times when it comes to insubordinate behavior or attitude, or easily annoyed, if you would. But people have also witnessed my honesty, my growing ability to upkeep decency in tough times. I am not afraid to lay down the law of how I feel and how I feel things should go. But I have learned how to get my opinion across to people in a manner that is understandable. I have begun to achieve that attitude that I want for myself, and my close ones have begun to notice as well. Being able to overcome my personal adversity is the biggest defeat of my life thus
Throughout life we come across many people, some who influence us in negative ways, and those who influence in good ways, often changing our complete outlook on life. For me, it took the struggle of one of my best friends to open my eyes. I only wish it wasn't too late to thank her.