What Makes Us Bad: Understanding the Barriers to Effective Listening

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Recommended: Problems facing effective listening

In life, there are some things a person is good at; things they think they are good at; and some things that a person is very, very bad at. Dating; for instance, is an activity that a man may think that he is good at while he may actually be a very bad date. Has anyone ever bothered to tell him? Probably, but what the man will hear is that the woman has too much personal baggage and decides that he does not want to be bothered with her anyways. In this way, he has avoided listening to the message that she has giving him and saved face. The woman, thinking that the man must be dense, walks away. The problem with communication is really on the part of both parties. Both parties must understand that the information being shared between them is an exchange of common symbols, signs, or behavior (Merriam-Webster). If they fail to pay attention to; give consideration to; or to hear something with thoughtful attention; then they have failed to listen (Merriam-Webster). Due to an inability to properly communicate and to listen to what is being communicated, this couple was bound to separate. In fact, all of our relationships-- with our family, friends, coworkers, and even complete strangers-- will be affected by our ability to listen and communicate. By learning to identify bad habits that distract us from listening; we will be able to increase our ability to listen and focus on what the communicator is saying, rather than what we think they intend to say. In order to be an effective listener, we must be able to identify what traits distract a person from listening and what specific techniques may be utilized to become better listeners.

The most common bad habit found in listening is interrupting. Many times when the subject is uninteres...

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...e B Rosenfeld and Proctor F Russell II. Interplay, The Process of Interpersonal Communication. New York: Oxford University Press, 2010.

Dr George Simon, PhD. “Selective Listening and Attention: Hearing What You Want to Hear as a Manipulation Tactic.” Counselling Resource. 30 March 2009. Counselling Resource. 24 November 2011. .

Merriam-Webster. "Communication." Marriam-Webster. 20 November 2011

< http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/communication>.

Merriam-Webster. "Listen." Marriam-Webster. 20 November 2011

< http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Listen>.

Meyer, Paul J. "The Art Of Creative Listening - Are You Tuned In Or Tuned Out?" Article Dashboard. 24 November 2011

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