Murphys Law

Murphys Law

Length: 874 words (2.5 double-spaced pages)

Rating: Excellent

Open Document

Essay Preview

More ↓
It is a quiet, Saturday afternoon, and the overcast humidity of the air gives me an obscene sense of nonchalance. Time in hand, I peruse a ‘Survival Handbook’, a sort of “Pessimist’s Guide to the World”. It was given to me as a Christmas present, and its perverse implication of Murphy’s Law amuses me. I would assume that its pleasant uselessness would appeal to all who share my insatiable appetite for superfluous information. A smile creeps onto my face as I remember the one objective truth about this world: “Anything that can go wrong, will”.

I stop to ponder a hypothetical scenario in which I might need to know “How to win a sword fight” or “How to leap from a burning car”. Further indulging my pessimism, I begin to fantasise…

I am siting comfortably in the first class compartment of a train from Paris to Munich, quietly minding my own business, sipping coffee from a china mug and reading my Pessimists Handbook, when the door at the end of the carriage opens. In walks a decrepit looking old man dressed in tattered rags, giving him the appearance of Fagan from Oliver Twist. Unlike Fagan on the other hand, he sports a gleaming new assault rifle and is draped in chains of ammunition. This, I realise, gives him more of a “Rambo meets Hunchback of Notre Dame” appearance. After a little deliberation, I notice that this is somewhat out of place in my train carriage, which to my perplexed bemusement, is becoming littered with bullet holes.

Caring not at this time to ponder the philosophical implications of this seemingly random outburst of post-teenage angst, I am more worried about the looming possibility of ending unfashionably dead. Remembering my survival handbook, I “run fast but do not move in a straight line” and “weave back and forth”. Coming to the opposite end of the carriage, I slide open the door, and “turn a corner as quickly as I can” which leaves me but one option; to climb the ladder leading onto the top of the carriage. Having previously read the chapter entitled “How to Maneuver on Top of a Moving Train”, I am fortunately informed that I should “not attempt to stand up straight… stay bent slightly forward, leaning into the wind”.

As I “move my body with the rhythm of the train – from side to side and forward”, I remember my feet should be “spread about 30 inches apart”, and that I should “wobble from side to side” as I move forward.

How to Cite this Page

MLA Citation:
"Murphys Law." 123HelpMe.com. 17 Jan 2020
    <https://www.123helpme.com/view.asp?id=78167>.

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

Murphys Law Essay

- It is a quiet, Saturday afternoon, and the overcast humidity of the air gives me an obscene sense of nonchalance. Time in hand, I peruse a ‘Survival Handbook’, a sort of “Pessimist’s Guide to the World”. It was given to me as a Christmas present, and its perverse implication of Murphy’s Law amuses me. I would assume that its pleasant uselessness would appeal to all who share my insatiable appetite for superfluous information. A smile creeps onto my face as I remember the one objective truth about this world: “Anything that can go wrong, will”....   [tags: essays research papers]

Free Essays
874 words (2.5 pages)

Outline Of The Law Of Law Essay

- Aims of Law There are many laws in today’s society that are considered controversial, this includes new laws that are trying to be enacted as well as laws that are already in place. One such law that has come up here in Colorado is the Personhood law. This was on the ballot as Amendment 67, it is also known as the "Brady Project" The supporters and proponents of the proposed Amendment 67 called it the "Brady Project" or the "Brady Amendment" in honor of Heather Surovik 's unborn child who was killed in a car accident when she was eight months pregnant....   [tags: Morality, Law, Religion, Ethics]

Research Papers
1561 words (4.5 pages)

Essay about The Law, Statutory Law And Administrative Law

- 1. The term law is a system of principles and processes on which people in a society deal with problems and disputes then seeking to solve or settle them without resorting to any force. The sources in which the law is derived are common law, statutory law and administrative law. 2. The term precedent is a judicial decision that may be used as a standard in subsequent similar cases. Res Judicata means the thing is decided either acted on or decided by the courts. Stare Decisis which means let the decision stand....   [tags: Common law, Law, Tort, Tort law]

Research Papers
1026 words (2.9 pages)

Essay about Criminal Law And Civil Law

- There are two types of law in the U.S. judicial system: criminal law and civil law. Civil law is considered as a law that is designed to address private wrongs. “A private citizen who believes that he or she has been injured in some way by another may sue that party for damages” (Hemmens, Brody, & Spohn, 2013). Civil law as stated before is the settling of disputes between private citizens since many disagreements can arise concerning anything from property, contracts, and even personal injuries....   [tags: Criminal law, Law, Civil law, Civil law]

Research Papers
710 words (2 pages)

The Law Of The Common Law Essay

- Question 1 Two main sources of law in the common law system are statutes and judicial decisions. The UK’s law inherited from the authority of courts which developed over the centuries, following the ‘stare decisis’ doctrine which built the stability and certainty in the law. This law survived for over a thousand years even in the absence of the statutory regulations in some areas. However, the Parliament as the supreme law-making body has the power to override or change current case law through the legislation but its power has been significantly weakened since signing the European Community Act in 1972....   [tags: Common law, Law, Contract, Tort]

Research Papers
1491 words (4.3 pages)

The Law And Civil Law Systems Essay

- Deciding Cases in the Common Law and Civil Law Systems I Problems with Retroactive Rule-Making Retroactive rule-making is applying a legal rule or law to conduct that has already occurred before the making of the rule. What makes the rules of a legal system legitimate is justice. People need to know the law and what it is so they can follow it. Legal systems frown upon or may prohibit retroactive rule-making because it does not enable people to predict the legal implications of their actions or behaviour....   [tags: Common law, Law, Appeal, Judge]

Research Papers
944 words (2.7 pages)

Common Law Vs. Law Essay

- Common law is “judge made-law” and “includes law by judges when they interpret law (lecture notes, 11/16)”. Common law authors trusted that “natural law was too abstract and theoretical for their pragmatic, concretely focused minds…simply out of touch with concrete human affairs (Coleman 593)”. Therefore, common law was developed. Common law has various aspects than the basic definition would anticipate. One imperative attribute is the progression of common law. Common law logicians believed that the law was constant, and they believed that looking into the law deeper and relying on reasoning would give an answer....   [tags: Law, Jurisprudence, Judge, Common law]

Research Papers
1805 words (5.2 pages)

Essay on Why Law Is Law?

- Law is Law In order to determine whether something is legitimately law or not, one must first determine what exactly law is; something that theorists such as Hart, Aquinas, Austin and Fuller have been arguing about for generations. While it is easy enough to argue who can make law, how it can be made, and so on, it is a little bit more difficult when it comes to deciding whether a bad law, such as the The Law for the Prevention of Offspring with Hereditary Diseases put into effect in 1933, among many other laws which were put into effect during this time by Hitler as Germany’s sovereign, is indeed actually law....   [tags: Law, Appeal, LAW, Political philosophy]

Research Papers
2037 words (5.8 pages)

Essay about Memorandum of Law

- 1. RIGHT OF PRIOR NOTICE OF THE CHARGES TO BE USED AGAINST THE OFFENDER IN COURT Prior notices of charges against an offender in court are provided for in the Fourteenth Amendment of the Process and Equal Protection Clauses. The appellants argument that he was not notified of the charges held against him in reasonable time are covered by the provisions of the Fourteenth Amendment of the Process and Equal Protection Clause. Accordingly, the Fourteenth Amendment provides that advance notice that a criminal accusation will follow a substantive offence is not a requirement....   [tags: Law]

Research Papers
880 words (2.5 pages)

Evolution of Law Essay

- Evolution of Law The government our nation has established today has come a long way from its roots. Starting with the Napoleonic Code and eventually ending with the Ratified Constitution of the United States. Rome came to England bringing the Roman Code, thus law begins. The Roman Code was a rigid code that in reality did not change much. It required ample detail and was difficult to understand at times. For example, if there where five different murders all using five different colored knives....   [tags: Law]

Research Papers
832 words (2.4 pages)

Related Searches

Needless to say, the handbook fails to mention that one tends to “wobble from side to side” as one attempts a Tom Cruise style casual stroll on top of a moving rail car whilst being pursued by a maniac sporting a military-issue AK-47.

Never the less, having managed to “find the ladder at the end of the next car and climb down”, I rest for a moment to deliberate on the bizarre sequence of events that lead me from a quiet coffee to Mission Impossible within one minute.

Suddenly, I hear more gunshots coming from inside the carriage, but as I turn to flee once more, I notice that having reached the end of the train, I have run out of train on which to perform miraculous stunts. Once again being reassuringly informed by my handbook, I prepare myself for the perilous lunge from the train. Knowing to “aim for a soft landing site: grass, brush, - anything but pavement or a tree”, I become vaguely amused at how my handbook makes no allowance for common sense. I would have thought that most people, when jumping from a moving train, would try not to hit a tree. I begin to wonder if someone lacking in common sense would think that a tree could “cushion the blow”.

Confronting the situation at hand, I prepare myself for the jump by “tucking in your head and your arms and legs” and aiming for a “soft landing site” I close my eyes and jump. Whilst suspended timelessly in flight, I deliberate once more on my question of common sense, remembering a phrase from my handbook which states: “roll when you hit the ground”. It then occurs to me that a human body when catapulted from a fast-moving train may indeed have little say in the matter. I fear that when introduced to the prospect of hitting the ground at seventy miles an hour, most objects would not just gracefully roll over the soft terrain coming to a gentle halt.

And thus, my fantasy comes to an end, and once more I find myself sitting quietly on a Saturday afternoon. It seems that for all the pessimists out there, there is hope for you yet, for if you ever find yourself being chased along the roof of a moving train by a madman with an assault rifle, and if you are ever forced into throwing yourself from a train travelling at seventy miles an hour, you can rest assured that a healthy level of common sense will be able to save you from catastrophe. And for all of you who are lacking in common sense, then you can always reassure your insecurities with more useless information at www.worstcasescenarios.com
Return to 123HelpMe.com