know what i hate

know what i hate

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You know what I hate happens? ( FUCKING EMBARRISSING MOMENTS )

( Its like when your waiting for the Phone )
One Day after eating a hefty late lunch you sit around the house waiting for the phone to ring, this girl was supposed to come over to your house later, When out of no where came the impending inexplicable urge to take a big ass shit. Thinking it over you know you cant afford to miss the phone call, but also when you got to take a shit you got to take a shit. So taking a shit it is. Your on the toilet doing your business, you guess your about half way through when the phone begins to ring. Well your working on a big clunker right there and you didn’t have any time to wipe your ass, You run to the phone as quick as you can in the state your in. You finally finish the phone call and you put the phone down, she said she would be here in 5 minutes and Your like Werd, pimping it. Then you turn around and you see a trail of tiny wet spots of brown SHIT everywhere. You only have 5 minutes to clean it up. Trying to wipe it and get it out of the carpet, it spreads. The bell rings and you get dressed as soon as you can, your ass still remains un-wiped. She enters the house, she sees the stains on the floor and asks what it is, You say its chocolate ice cream, You try to steer her away but you know you couldn’t show your ass to her incase the shit stain outline appears on your pants, she bends over to smell and examine the stain on the floor.... she smells it, she gets an idea of what it is, and you try to steer her away, she tells you to come look at it closer, by then you have no choice, you bend over, she sees the shit stain outlines on your pants and her idea that those might be shit stains on the ground are confirmed........... The Date Is Over

( Its like Before You go into the hot tub )

Well The other day before hitting the road to a long drive to vacation I decided to leave on a full stomach so I wouldn’t be hungry on the journey there.

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I filled up on the “mucho grande” special of chilli and bean enchiritos which was not a good idea, the Chili had lots of corn kernels in it too. During the ride up in the car which was about 2-3 hours I fell asleep and unknowingly I farted a lot on the drive there. By the time we got to the house we were staying at I had to take an ILL SHIT. All the toilets were taken but my friends were already getting changed to pop into the hot tub and relax from the long drive up. They told me to change in a bedroom which I did. At that time I knew I had to take a shit but I thought maybe after I was in the hot tub I would better about it. Well I was wrong. After a few minutes in the tub the pulsating jets and whirls kicked in. Felt like probes going into my ass. Well I tried to hold it in but I started farting again, I was like hey this isn’t so bad, no one notices or anything ill be fine. After a few farts I felt a wet one, which was followed by a wetter and mushy fart. Turned out to be soem wet explosive diarhea. Well no one noticed until it started reaching the surface, the smell was bad and the weird consistency, everyone jumped out of the tub and they turned the tub off instinctively I guess. A bubble seemed to come out from my ass into the water and then little corn shell kernels surfaced and were like encrusted with bits of shit pebbles. They started floating around and you could see like little yellowish brown chunks of shit and diarhea floating around the hot tub. I turned around as embarrassed and red as possible and my friends are standing there staring at me giving me these looks and I was like.......... uhhhh oh shit............

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