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“Since your sister moved out, aren’t you excited to have your own car without having to share?” This past year many friends and family have frequently asked me this question. I have not been able to fully answer it until now. Though she has been gone over a year, I often find myself walking into the empty room where my sister Fallon and I once spent countless nights lying on the small twin bed, watching movies, laughing and even crying. The room that was once beige and full of leopard and animal print is slowly being transformed into a light yellow. My little sister, Brittany, is trying to alter Fallon’s mess and chaos into her new room; it will take some getting used to. As it is, I still go into her room to borrow something only to see an empty closet looking back at me. Whether Fallon is at home or living somewhere else, she will always be the older sister that I look up to and want to emulate.
When I see the closet looking back at me, with just a graduation robe hanging in it, I can not help but stop to reminisce. In my old house my sister and I shared a room and my little sister had her own room because she was the baby. I lived with my big sister in our room for the first eight years of my life. We shared a closet, bunk- beds, a dresser, and toys. When we moved into our current house it was a huge adjustment. I had to learn to sleep without the comforting thought of Fallon underneath me, or being able to giggle and be silly until Mom or Dad came in and got angry. When we got our new rooms, Fallon, Brittany and I started our tradition of knocking on the wall to each other before falling asleep, this was our way of saying goodnight. Now I have amended knocking on the wall to talking on the phone every night. I have dealt with separating into different rooms, but splitting into different households has proven to be more of a challenge.
Fallon came home for a long weekend. I was glad to see her but I was not anxious for her mess and disarray to occupy my room.
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My sister is the friend who shows me what I want from other friends, and she sets the standard everybody else has to match. I think the best way to answer whether I am happy not sharing my car and other possessions is that “I would rather share my car and still have her just in the next room instead of my own car and three hundred miles away.” I have become accustomed to a routine my sisters and I have established over the years and a change in the routine is something I was not prepared for when Fallon announced that she was moving out. I miss all the things I took for granted while she was there but now it makes the time we do get to spend together even more special.
Now at College, five hundred miles away from my comfort zone of home and family I find myself homesick and missing my sisters more than ever. The rare times when our family is together are now more precious and we do not take any second for granted. When I went home for Christmas break Brittany and I had such a terrific time getting ready together before going out, sharing clothes, and even sharing a car. We all cried when I had to come back and when I do think about it I get sad all over again. I hope that my leaving has made my little sister realize all that I have been to her since my big sister moved away. I miss them both and appreciate them for their individuality and the people they will become. To me they will be the sisters that are my best friends and will always admire.
Fallon and Brittany are my mirror shining back at me with a world of possibilities, they are my witnesses who see me at my worst and best and still love me anyway. There is a special bond between us as sisters that no other relationship can compare to and no one else can understand. I have been blessed to be able to share the bond between two sisters, thus making it more unique. No matter where our lives take us or how far apart we are we will always share the extraordinary bond of sisterhood.