Gals vs. Women

Gals vs. Women

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Gals vs. Women

This article is about gals. It's not an article about women. There are way too many books about women, and most of them are way too serious.

Women itself is a serious word, not to mention womanhood and womanly. While being female is a serious activity, there is a lighter side which is rarely examined or written about.

But women tend to attach too much significance to womanhood. This results in certain characteristically feminine, by which I mean over exaggerated self-important, behavioral patterns that can produce unfortunate results. These things include, but are not limited to, women being viewed as ruthless bitches who will step on anyone to get the best of a man. These things have given females a bad name. And the "Woman's Movement," which is supposed to give women more rights, seems to be densely populated with masculine looking para-military types. (These "females" require an entirely different category, but I will leave that discussion for a later time. For now I will write about those females which I believe fit into "normal parameters.")

So I'm saying that there's another way to look at females: not as aggressive career hungry ego-maniacs; not as sensitive, Suzy Homemaker; but as gals.

And what, exactly, do I mean by "gals"? I don't know. I haven't thought that much about it. Females whether women or gals do spend a lot of time pondering about our deepest feelings, but women think a lot about what it means to be a woman, and gals just are.

But although I can't define exactly what it means to be a gal, I can describe certain gal characteristics, such as:

Gals Do Not Have A Rigid And Well-Defined Code Of What It Takes To Be A Woman

This is not the same as saying that gals do not consider themselves women, or do not think about being a woman, but gals do not get hung up thinking about it. Gals have never really grasped the Basic Code Of What It Takes To Be A Woman, such as matching their handbag, shoes, and belt, or only wearing white shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Or is it Labor Day and Memorial Day? (A Woman, would know and have these dates marked and memorized.)

Take my two dogs as examples, Blue, a neurotic dog who can only be categorized as a guy, and Katie, a gal dog.

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They have both been told on numerous times not to (1) get into the kitchen garbage or (2) chew the kid's toys. They both know that these are the rules, but they've really never understood why, and sometimes they get to thinking: Sure, we're not ordinarily supposed to get into the garbage, but obviously this rule is not meant to apply when there are certain extenuating circumstances, such as (1) somebody left the trash bag on the floor (usually it is put up so that they don't get into it), and (2) We're home alone.

And so when the humans come home, the trash bag is mysteriously empty and the backyard has been transformed into a garbage dump. (They slyly try to hide the evidence of their crimes.) As though unaware of his misdeeds, Blue jumps and yelps with glee the minute the door is open, and Katie shyly approaches, her eyes downcast with shame. Although, aware of her misbehavior, she just can't seem to help herself. Blue on the other hand is blissfully unaware.

On examining the backyard, I find a chewed up kid's toy, when I look up I see Katie slinking behind a bush. Blue is still blissfully unaware. In fact I suspect that Blue is not the one who chewed the toy; although he has chewed his way through a kitchen door in a panic to get outside, he has never (to my knowledge) chewed up a kid's toy. Hence the reason I categorize him as a neurotic guy dog. Katie on the other hand is a true gal, in contrast to Blue, she knows what she has done is wrong and is ashamed of her misdeeds. However, she just can't seem to help herself, as she would if she were a woman dog.

Gals are just like Katie, we know that there are some things that are not lady-like to do, but we go ahead and do them any way because there fun. We realize, of course, when we have done something that we probably shouldn't have and feel guilty about it for a day or two before we get over it and move on.

While most Suzy Homemakers would never dream of cheating on their mates, a Woman would cheat on hers in a heartbeat, if it meant a job promotion or other such comparable asset. A Gal on the other hand would be most likely to stray only under extenuating circumstances. By extenuating circumstance I mean any circumstance in which she doesn't believe that she will get caught and she really really wants to.

I'm not saying that gals are bad. I'm saying that they want their reputation in tact and they want to have fun at the same time. I'm saying that many gals who consider themselves to be committed to their marriages will stray only if they are confronted with overwhelming temptation, defined as any situation where they know that they won't get caught.

Okay, so maybe I am saying gals are bad. But they're not mean-spirited. And few of them-- even when they are out of town, and know that they wouldn't ever get caught-- will slink behind the bush.

Are you starting to see what I mean by "galness"? I'm basically talking about the part of the female psyche that is less serious and/ or aggressive than the womanly womanhood part, but still essentially very female. My feeling is that the world would be a much better place if more females would stop trying so hard to Women and instead settle for being Gals. And think how much happier men would be if, instead of worrying about whether a female will get offended if he does or doesn't open a door for her, they could relax, secure in the knowledge that neither response is absolute.

Yes, what we need, on the part of both genders, is more understanding of galness. And that is why I wrote this article. I intend to explore in detail every major facet of galhood, including the historical facet, the sociological facet, the physiological facet, the psychosexual facet, and the facet of how gals when faced with a bad hair day, will always put their hair in a ponytail. (As opposed to a woman, who will put it up into a bun.) Every statement of fact you will read in this article will be made up, but you will have to wait for I will write it at a later time. However, you can trust me. I'm a gal.

Works Cited

Barry, Dave. "Guys vs. Men." in The Presence of Others: Voices That Call for Response, edited by Andrea A. Lunsford and John J. Ruszkiewicz. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1997
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