What Women Really Do in the Bathroom

What Women Really Do in the Bathroom

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What Women Really Do in the Bathroom



Throughout the ages, mankind has been troubled by a multitude of questions. Through perseverance and great intellectual curiosity, many of these questions have answers. Long have they pondered questions such as “Why is the sky blue?” “Why is grass green?” “Is the sky falling?” “What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?” and “What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?” Thus far, we have been successful in compiling answers. However, there are other questions such as “Where do all the socks in laundry go?” “Why are gooses geese but mooses not meese?” and “What would we do without any hypothetical questions?” that have yet to be answered. However, through meditation, self-inquiry and theoretical logic, one of the unanswered questions has been answered. “What do women really do in the bathroom?”
Now, there are many theories that pertain to this. Among these is the Girl Scout theory which claims that through years of intensive Girl Scout training that the buddy system has become part of the female psyche and that when around pools of water, it has become habitual to bring a friend. Also, there is the evolutionary theory. Women have had to bring each other for protection from snakes and falling in. Over the years, it has become instinctual that they must ask or naturally follow other women to the place of restroom activities. Else, it may be a type of system to provide boredom relief therapy for the long lines to get into the bathroom where other girls are doing whatever it is that they do which causes a sort of perpetuating cycle. It is also widely accepted that women bring in other women as fashion/style consultants in order to attempt to alter their image to defer their inferiority complexes.
Logic would dictate that they would inevitably talk about the guys. However, after much debate, it has been decided that not only do they talk about the guy that they are there with but the other guys that they are not there with. Upon being charged with this crime, nearly all women will undoubtedly deny it. This does not mean it is not the truth.

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Jessica Pham, Freshman, upon questioning of the truth of the theories stated, “No, no, yes and no, no. Sometimes… no.” After much analysis by brilliant minds, it has been inferred that part of the motivation is merely to aggravate guys. This has been widely agreed upon by the majority of males; however, three out of three females surveyed consistently defer any of our theories and insist that they merely like talking. It is on consensus that they could not come up with a better excuse and are merely attempting to hide their true motives.
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