A Survival Guide for a Family Weekend Camping Trip

A Survival Guide for a Family Weekend Camping Trip

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A Survival Guide for a Family Weekend Camping Trip


Surviving a camping trip alone with the family can be extremely
difficult, and one wrong move can lead to a living nightmare.
Hopefully these suggestions can be a survival guide to enduring an
excruciating weekend.

First, when in the car, the family might start to sing those long,
childish sing-along songs, but don't panic. For those people who can
almost turn off their brains and stare randomly into space, you
definitely have an edge. So this may be a good time to do so, it helps
block the racket being made. If this doesn't work, go directly to the
next step, the CD player (which will also come in handy later too). If
all else fails, try sleeping. Yeah it may be difficult to do, but it
is about the last option.

Upon arrival (if one has lasted this long) the ache to explore kicks
in. But it will have to wait until after the unpacking. This includes
carrying one's personal stuff, food, sleeping bag, tent(s), and of
course your moms stuff. Which she overly packed. Who needs 13 socks,
seven pairs of shoes, ten shirts, 11 pants, four sweatshirts, five
jackets, and four hats anyway, when your only going to be gone for a
night or two? After this is completed, tell ones parents that you want
to go explore. In response, it will probably be something like this
"be carefully now, and don't go to far. And be back in 20 minutes!"
Also if you have any dogs that you brought along, you will probably be
obligated to take them along. She says it is because they need a walk,
but the truth is that she knows you are safer with them. But the
downside to bringing them is that they will bolt after every sound,
smell, or motion they encounter along the way.

When arriving back from the walk (the one you didn't go far on,
wink-wink) it will be about dinnertime. But use caution when
commenting on the camp food, such as " my hamburger is cold" or "I

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don't think the soup is supposed to have little black dots floating
around in it." Because in the woods, no one can hear the screams. Then
head for bed, whether it is with the family or by ones self. But be
warned if one is sleeping by him or her self, 85% chance it won't last
all night. Mom or Dad is probably going the hear a chipmunk scatter
across the wilderness floor (carrying a piece of junk food from which
he stole from you) and think it was bear. So they flee to the soundly
sleeping child's tent, and bring him back to their tent. Once in the
parent's tent, it is going to be very hard to sleep, since every
pinecone falling or tree branch crackling in the midnight wind is
going to sound like a vicious animal to them. After every noise, there
will be a very familiar sound to follow, that will go probably
something like this "OHHH MY GOD, did you hear that?" If this starts
to occur, listen to your CD player again. And if one is lacking a CD
player, you're going to be looking at a very long night.

Upon waking the next morning to pack up early because the air
mattresses went flat, the tents leaked, everything inside is soaked,
it's cold, it's raining. And worst of all, one of the many animals
your parents supposedly heard the previous night, which they said
sounded like a VERY LARGE cat, turned out to be a raccoon. And he got
into all of the food. So after you decide to leave a day early pack
up, enter the car and start the hopefully quieter ride home, it dawns
on you that this horrible, grueling, boring, family only, nature
weekend wasn't so bad. But of course you won't let your parents know
that.
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