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Tuesday 3rd August
Today hasn't been the most interesting day. We just kicked the ball
about in the park but we were forced to leave because other people,
17-18 year olds, told us to get out of the park or they would kill us.
At the time I didn't think that they were serious, but when he started
shouting I knew he was serious. To say the least he was a bit of a
psycho. When I saw him reacting the way he did, shouting because we
were in the park, I told my mates just to walk away. I didn't think
anyone could react that way over us playing football in the park! I
don't think I'll be going back there if they're around.
Wednesday 4th August
I don't know what way to feel. Angry or sad. Paul got hit today. Well,
he got more than hit. He's in a coma now. I didn't go out today when
he called for me. I could've helped him. I could've stopped him from
getting hit. I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed with myself. I should've gone
out when he called for me. That's also the reason why I am sad. I want
to make it up to him but I don't know how. The only way I can think of
making it up to him is to resort to violence and do to him what he did
to Paul. My parents have always taught me that violence isn't the
right way to solve anything, but in this case it's the only wayâ€¦.
Thursday 5th August
I have found out exactly what happened to Paul and who put him in a
coma. Paul and Darren went into the park to kick the ball about and
those people from the other day tried to throw them out of the park.
Paul refused to leave. He kept saying that he wasn't going to leave
the park and eventually one of the other boys lost it and hit him.
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He must've kept hitting Paul while he was down because one punch
couldn't have done that much damage. I have to get him back. I can't
let him get away with what he done to Paul. He's going to be sorry.
He's going to be sorry that he even talked to us. I will get him back.
If I have to do it on my own, I will. It's a public park. He doesn't
own it. Usually I don't like fights but this will be one of the best
days of my life. I have to get him soon.
Friday 6th August
My mates said that they won't help me. They think that I'm mad for
even thinking about getting him back. I don't. I know I'm right. Don't
they care about Paul? Don't they care about what happened to him?
Nothing like this has ever happened before where I live. I always
wondered what way I would react if this happened. I see it in films
all of the time. Someone's best friend gets killed and he goes out for
revenge. But his friends help him. I know now why they react like
that. Paul isn't recovering. The doctors aren't sure whether he will
live. Even if he does he will more than likely have brain damage. His
parents are taking it very badly. I have to get him back. The police
haven't been around to his house to question him. You know what the
police are like. They will say that they have no evidence of who done
it until Paul, IF Paul, recovers. Darren won't leave the house. He's
too scared. I feel sorry for Darren too. He couldn't have done
anything. He must be feeling almost as bad as me. Tomorrow is the day
that I will get him back for what he has done.
Saturday 7th August
I can't believe what I have done. The boy who more or less killed Paul
now has multiple stab wounds. The moment I pierced his skin once with
my knife, I couldn't stop. My mind went blank. I just saw red. I
didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to stop. I couldn't stop.
The only thing that stopped me was his mates charging at me. I don't
even feel satisfied. I actually feel worse. I'm just like him. My
mates were right and now I fear for my own lifeâ€¦..