The Importance Of Eating Habits

have never examined myself to understand the components of my behaviours, or why I did or do the things I do. My mother often reflects on the past bringing up these wonderful memories, and I stop and wonder if we lived in the same reality growing up. I recognize the look of disappointment when she realizes I don’t recall any of them. As a coping mechanism we block out the bad and try to move on with positives, but it is my past that has shaped me into the person I am today is it not? When I look back on my life in childhood and adolescent I feel the hurt, the chaos, and the pain. It holds a grip on me which is why I believe I suffer from depression and anxiety as an adult. Writing this has really allowed me to feel what I need to feel,

It made me feel so worthless. Comments how her life would be so easy if we were not around. That would be followed up by trips to McDonalds or ordering in to show us she was sorry, we would over indulge in greasy fast foods and I consider that this is where my eating habits have stemmed from. My mother has always been a heavy-set woman, she would make comments about how disgusting she was, and how unattractive, how know one would love her, soon those comments were directed to me. How I was overweight, I should watch what I eat and would put me on diets. At the age of 8 I refused to wear a bathing suite and would wear sweaters and baggy pants all year round even if it was 35 degrees out. I felt so ashamed of my body. My brother had been diagnosed with dyslexia around the age of 9. I have vivid memories of my mother preparing dinner in our kitchen after a long day of work, and my brother sitting in a chair trying to read to her. He was in hysterics and she would get so angry I remember spit coming from her mouth like a salivating dog from yelling so loud at him. To be honest I was happy it was him she had her focus on at that point. That’s twisted isn’t it. Mom dated once in awhile and I always hated it. When